Happy

Hi Friends!
How have you been?  I've been doing well; really well.  :)

My new found freedom is awesome.  I know things will change when the weather warms up and I have to wear less clothes ;-) but for now I am enjoying not having that black cloud over me at all times.

I'm wondering if I have mono or something?? I am so.tired.  Like, all the time.  Last night Josh put me in bed at 7:15 and I instantly conked out.  I woke up for an hour and a half with Nora at 4, then fell back asleep and could barely drag myself out of bed at 8:30.  That's not normal, right?  I don't know, maybe all the sleep deprivation is catching up with me. ;-) 

I saw this quote on Pinterest and I really like it.

 

I know it's not the case for all situations, but it's a good reminder.

How do you like my new background? I felt like it was time for a change. :)  I also made lots of little changes around my house.  I am no interior decorator, that's for sure. ;-) But the other night I was waiting up for Josh to get home from one of his fundraising events, and I got the itch to DO something.

I added strips of burlap to the tops of my window frames, because it looked so incomplete/unfinished before.  

 

I also made this little arrangement over the desk where we keep all our art supplies and games.

 

The sign says:

FAMILY RULES

Help Each Other

Be Thankful

Know You Are Loved

Pay With Hugs and Kisses

Try New Things

Be Happy

Show Compassion

Be Grateful

Dream Big

Respect One Another

Laugh Out Loud

I love, love, love, LOVE it. :)  

Then I bought some material because I was going to make a valance for over my kitchen window.  But I am a complete sewing novice and I had them cut it the wrong direction; so all the birds were going sideways and upside down. :-P  So I put on my creative hat and came up with this, instead:

 

Ugh, sorry it's blurry.  You can't even tell what it is, LOL. Oh well, I'm leaving it in there. ;-)

Anyway, that's what I've been up to around here.  I will leave you with this; I am not sure why, but I find it HILARIOUS!!

 

Poor drunk flamingo, LOL! 

Happy Thursday!

 

 

Free

Hi Friends!
How are you? How was your Valentine's Day?  Mine was AWESOME.  Josh surprised me by taking the day off, which was exactly what I needed.  We spent the whole day together, I got a new pair of (desperately needed) shoes, he got me a gift card to my favorite coffee place.  It was divine.

I've come to a conclusion. 

I'm letting myself off the hook.  I'm taking the pressure off.  I'm freeing myself.

 

Don't get me wrong... I'm not letting myself go.  There's a difference.

I will do what I can in regard to losing weight, i.e. not eat after 7pm and watch what I eat during the day.  But as far as actively trying to lose weight... Well, I'm putting that on hold.  For now I will focus on Nora, nursing her.  I will focus on being healthy.  Adding in walks where I can.  Serving healthy meals and snacks.  But I'm not going to stress or beat myself up over losing/not losing weight.

When Nora is done nursing, then I will dedicate myself to losing the extra weight.  But not right now.  And you know what? IT IS SO FREEING.  Not because I can gorge or eat whatever crap I want.  But the massive heavy weight that has been riding around on my shoulders is gone.

Will I be "fat" for the wedding? Yes.  Will I be "fat" during the women's conference at church that is coming up? Yes.  Will I be "fat" this summer by the pool? Probably.  Is it the end of the world? NO.

This is just a blip in time.  A season.  I had a really good talk with my daughter, Kate, yesterday.  I was looking through a tub of clothes that are too small for me, and Kate asked why I wasn't wearing those clothes. I responded that they were too small right now, and she said, "Oh yeah, because you're big" while patting my booty.  Then she got all embarrassed and afraid that she'd hurt my feelings.  But lo and behold, it was not hurtful for me.  I just said, "Yep, I'm bigger than usual right now because my body is working to make milk for Nora."  And we both smiled at each other and moved on.

I really want to instill a healthy mindset in my girls when it comes to weight.  The goal is to be healthy.  Not a certain number on the scale, not a certain size in clothes.  Healthy.  And more importantly, happy.

I realized that NO ONE cares what size I am, except for me.  My friends love me for WHO I am, not for what SIZE I am.  My husband finds me just as attractive now as he did when I was 40 pounds lighter.  My kids love me and don't care what the scale says; they just want me to be there for them, nourish them, nurture them, love them.  And I can do that!! Even at a higher weight than I'd like to be.

So, yes. I will work on making good, healthy choices.  I will work on not eating after 7pm, even though that is when Josh and I usually try to watch our show and have snacks.  I will work on my attitude/outlook.  But right now, I'm feeling tremendously freed.  Free as a bird. :)

I'm also extremely tired.  No idea why.  But this sounds pretty good right about now:

 

Happy Friday!!

 

Checking In...

Hi Bloggy Friends!
Sorry (AGAIN) for going MIA.  Life sometimes gets the better of me.

I had one kiddo with pneumonia, one with double ear infections, one cutting teeth and one who had cabin fever in exponential amounts. 

It was busy. ;-)

Everyone is on the mend now, so here I am checking in.

HCG.....  Le sigh.  So not happening.  I just can't seem to do it.  I am not sure why, exactly.  But I just can't seem to stick to it.  Maybe it's because I'm nursing.  Maybe it's because I'm very sleep-deprived.  Maybe I just don't have enough self-control.  Whatever it is, I haven't been able to do it for any length of time.

I was doing okay until I had a day where I was super faithful to stick to it. I had made zucchini bread, chicken parmesan, garlic bread, etc... and did not have even one crumb.  I drank over 72 ounces of water.  And the next day I gained weight.  It took all the wind out of my sails.  I think if I would have just stuck with it, I would have had a drop, but I just couldn't keep going on.

I know I can't give up, because I absolutely can't be at this weight for the rest of my life.  But I also have to figure out a smart way to lose the weight, so that I don't lose my mind in the process. ;-)

For now, I'm just kind of trying to watch what I eat.  In the back of my head, I kind of have this feeling that once Nora stops nursing, the weight will come off a lot easier.  For now, my body is being ridiculous and just wants to hold onto every ounce of fat it can get.  Sometimes I'm tempted to get really angry that I can't be like the majority of other women, who burn fat from nursing, and drop the baby weight pronto.  But, that doesn't accomplish anything.  At all.

My desire to lose weight is soooooo strong, but not strong enough to wean Nora.  I don't think it's fair to her, and I don't feel right about it.  So for now, I'm working on being content, being thankful, and working through my vanity issues.  Cuz that is what it boils down to.  I'm vain.  I want to look good.  Yes, I also want to be healthy, but the overriding issue is vanity.

So.  Kinda dumb.  I feel like I keep reporting "non" things.  Failures.  But, this is real life, and this is where I am at.

If you have any great ideas, please feel free to pass them on to me! :)