Thursday, May 30, 2013


Definition of GLUTTON

1a : one given habitually to greedy and voracious eating and drinking

Gluttony, derived from the Latin gluttire meaning to gulp down or swallow, means over-indulgence and over-consumption of food, drink, or wealth items to the point of extravagance or waste. In some Christian denominations, it is considered one of the seven deadly sins—a misplaced desire of food or its withholding from the needy.

Philippians 3:9
Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things.

In the end they will be destroyed. Their own emotions are their god, and they take pride in the shameful things they do. Their minds are set on worldly things.

Last night, I was a glutton.  I was greedy.  I was selfish.  I ate from emotional distress instead of turning to God.  I shoved food in at an alarming rate, heedless of what it tasted like, of how it would make me feel afterward, of what the root of the problem was/is.

Today, I am very, very sick.  I have basically poisoned my body.  This body, this temple, that God has entrusted to me.

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.  1 Cor 6:19

I feel like this is more than a mental game; more than mind over matter; more than forcing myself to just do something.  This is spiritual warfare.  This is about me turning to God instead of to food, about me respecting my body, about not being ruled by my stomach and emotions.

I was sent this article by The Grace and Strength program; it's the HCG diet, but with a support of godly women to back it up and help you through.  It's long, I think it's worth the read and highly recommend you take the time to do so.

Get Back Up!

So, this is my game plan.  I'm continuing on with HCG.  I'm having a do-over.  I'm picking up more drops today, but these are non-hormonal.  I don't know what's in them, but I'm going to try them.  Sorry if this is TMI, but there's something weird going on.  My boobs are still full of milk.  FULL of it.  They are heavy and I can tell my milk hasn't dried up.  Which is really weird because I haven't nursed Nora for the last 3 weeks. I'm wondering if the HCG hormone has something to do with that??

Also, I am going to be much more strict with myself to stick to protocol.  I will allow myself a cup of coffee with creamer a day, but as far as winging it with my meat and vegetables, I'm going to reign that in.  And no more nibbling on things that aren't approved.  I'll stick to my apple or grapefruit for snacks.

Hopefully the scale will be kind to me and start going down.  Quickly.

I have a lot to meditate on with regard to gluttony and being pulled around by my emotions and mindless eating.  So I'll be working on that aspect of things, too.

I hope you all are doing well!!

Wednesday, May 29, 2013


Hey there.

How are you?  Good? Tired? Busy?

Me? I'm all of the above.  And stressed.  Dieting is so hard! WAAAHHHH!

I keep trying.  I do.  But I inevitably end up cheating.  With black licorice.  Or cereal.  Or mini graham crackers.

You see, on HCG there is nothing you can snack on.  Sure, I could cut up an apple.  But you can only eat so many apples.  And I want crunch.  I'm a texture girl.  I want chewy.

So, as of today, I'm still at 10 pounds gone.  On Monday morning I had lost an additional 0.6 but I gained that back.

I'm not giving up, because I need to lose this weight.  But dang, it's hard.

Also?  Owen broke his arm.

He fell while roller skating on Saturday, and didn't tell me it hurt until MONDAY.  It was super swollen and he couldn't use it.  It's just a buckle fracture, a chip off the bone.  It will heal fine and we should be able to get the cast off in 3ish weeks.  Just in time for swim lessons. ;-)

Ok, I'm off.  I am going to try to be good.  I need to work on drinking water.  Help.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Ten Pounds Gone!

Morning, Friends!
I am happy to report I've hit my first goal; ten pounds lost. Go Me!

10 pounds doesn't seem like all that much, but look at these pictures.

Is that crazy!?!?  But what's even crazier is what ten pounds of fat looks like:
Say WHAAAA????!!!

And I have FIVE of those to lose?? :-O Yikes.  Not very pretty, but I'll be so glad when that junk is GONE.

And now the fun part; buying a new watch! I love watches, so it's a fun little treat for me.  

Yesterday I made a batch of Weight Watchers friendly oatmeal cookies in anticipation of a moms and tots group coming over.  But then Christian got sick so I had to cancel, and I was left with the whole batch.  Just sitting there, staring at me.  All. Day. Long.  

But I stuck it out and didn't cheat, not even a crumb.  Until bedtime.  And then I ate one. But only one.  Still... I need to focus on drinking water and NOT CHEATING.

We don't have any big plans for the long weekend; I'm hoping it involves sleep.  Lots of sleep.  :)

Hope you all are doing well!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


I'm finally down into the next "decade" of numbers.  Phew!

Yesterday was a really, really hard day.  Gaining weight while trying so hard to lose is NOT fun.  It totally affected my attitude/mood, despite me fighting it.  Thankfully I didn't cheat. In fact, I hardly ate anything because I felt so depressed.  From one ditch to the other, eh? 

Anyway, I'm happy with my loss and am determined to keep going.  The weight won't come off without me giving it my all.  

Nora is sleeping better again, so that helps a lot.  Last night I was totally drained/exhausted. I washed and dried clothes all. day. long.  There was a gigantic mountain of clothes, and the plan was to watch a movie and fold them with Josh.  But I was so tired that he put me to bed at 6:30pm and I was dead to the world.  I slept til 4am, then was up for an hour, fell back asleep and then got up at 6am with Nora.

I still feel tired today, but I know I got some good rest in, so that's good.  

I am super duper excited because one of my good friends is having twin boys tomorrow!!  Looking forward to that. :)  

Not much else to report.  Hope you're having a good day!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Dont. Give. Up.

Today I was soooooo frustrated.  I gained weight.  I was so faithful yesterday, didn't cheat, drank my water, and I was thisclose to the next decade.  And then I was up .4!?!?!? How does that happen?? Why???????

I wanted to cry.  I wanted to scream.  I wanted to stamp my feet.  I wanted to eat everything in sight, throw in the towel, give up.

But, I can't.  Because I am unhappy with the way I feel and look.  There is a slight pall over my life, a smidgeon of not-quite-right-ness.  And so, I continue on.

I like this.  Because my fat doesn't define who *I* am.  It's merely a state of my physical body.  One that I can change.  My body held on to this fat in order to give my baby girl rich milk.  My body is holding on to this fat just in case there is a famine.  If there ever is a famine, I WILL SURVIVE! :-P

So, on I go.  Eating my approved food.  Not eating the chocolate orange scones that I made this morning (for someone else).  Not burying my woes in a bag of spicy almonds or bbq chips.  Or margaritas.   So, there's that.

Hee hee :-D

I just have to look to my goal.  Think about finally being thin and fitting in my clothes and not feeling uncomfortable all the time.  It's not happening as fast as I thought or as I'd like it to.  But then again, I'm not being as strict as I should be.  The point is that if I keep at it, I WILL MAKE IT.  I will lose the weight.  I can do this.  It seems like a huge mountain, but I just need to take it one day at a time.  One pound at a time.

This is so true.  I have love, and I have laughter.  And my life, it is beautiful.  I am richly blessed!

MB-I'm going to email you; I want to know if your mom got the lung transplant!?!?!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Weekends are hard.

Hiya guys!

How are you on this Monday? I'm pretty good.  Had a lovely visit with my bestie Jen.  She's blogging again, by the way. :-D

Josh and I had a nice night away at the beach.  Nora was really sick with a super high fever, so we didn't get much sleep, but it was nice to just be able to sit on the couch next to my husband without 3 little monkeys jumping all over us.  (We ended up taking her with us since he wasn't feeling well.)  Saturday evening we had my sister in law and two younger girls come visit us for dinner.  I made a huge chef salad, and only ate was was HCG approved on mine.  After they left and we were watching a movie, I got the munchies BAD.  I ate some Skittles, some gummy bears and some spicy almonds.  Have you ever tried these?
They are super delicious, and I don't normally like wasabi.

Anyway, I stopped with that and went to bed, beating myself up that I keep sabotaging myself.  Sunday morning rolled around and Joh had a DELICIOUS looking Asiago cheese bagel, toasted and smothered in cream cheese for breakfast.  It looked/smelled SO GOOD.  But I stayed strong, only had my coffee and then later ate some fat free cottage cheese.

We went to the outlets and did some shopping, mostly for the kids and Josh since I wasn't feeling the love and didn't want to try things on.  I was also pretty nauseated from the milk in the cottage cheese. I have a slight dairy intolerance.  We headed back around 3:30 and I wanted Burger King soooo badly.  Josh had stopped to get a burger and it smelled so heavenly.  BUT I didn't give in.  I ate an apple.

The whole way home I was so nauseated.  The milk plus being car sick was NOT good.  As soon as I got home, I threw up.  I know what you're thinking, and no, I'm not pregnant. ;-)  I can't say I'd be disappointed if I was, though. :-)  Babies are awesome.  Being sick, not so much.

ANYWAY, so I threw up and felt better.  Josh took the kids to their activities and I was home with Owen and Nora.  I cleaned up, put the babies to bed... and went a wee bit crazy.  I ate a bowl of cereal (Oatmeal Squares with almond milk), 5 mini Nestle Crunch bars and a bunch of BBQ chips.  But I was able to stop there.

Oh, I guess I should fill you in... On Friday when I weighed I had GAINED 0.8!!! I don't know how or why, except that I had a LOT of coffee that day.  So that started the weekend off on a hard note.

I was sure that I'd be way up this morning, and was seriously depressed.  I've been doing HCG for 3 week now (loosely, I know) and I haven't even lost 10 pounds.  WAAAHHH!!

But glory be, this morning I had lost weight and was down to just 0.2 above my lowest weight so far.  I'm hoping that tomorrow I'll be down into the next decade.

I'll keep you posted! For today, I'm chugging the water and gearing up to STAY ON TRACK.  I have to lose this weight.  It must go!

MB-Are you saying you want to weigh 100 pounds!?!?  You're crazy!! But I still love you. :)

Friday, May 17, 2013

It's Friday!!

Hello My Friends!
I'm down a total of 7.4 pounds now, and as crazy as it seems, I'm already feeling better about myself and my body.  Don't get me wrong, I still have a long way to go, but at least I'm on the way, right!?

The first two weeks were kind of a wash with me gaining and losing the same 2 pounds over and over again.  I've moved past that now, and am into new territory. :-D

I'm almost to my first goal- 10 pounds! That'll be 1/5th of the way to my goal.  When I break it up into smaller segments it really helps.

Josh and I are sneaking away to the coast for a night; my sister is being Superwoman and taking our kiddos.  We are taking Nora, though.  She is doing MUCH better with her sleeping.  So much better.  But she is still very much a mama's girl. ;-)

I'll probably pick out my 10 pound loss reward- the watch- while we are at the outlets. 

In other news, Josh and I booked our 10th anniversary trip to Mexico!!  We've been wanting to go for years but have never been able to afford it, what with having babies and school loans, etc...  Thanks to our diligence to pay off our debt, owning a timeshare and a companion ticket we were able to book our week in Mexico for pretty dang cheap!

I can't wait.  I am so looking forward to having a fun, relaxing time together and to being THIN!!!! 

It definitely is motivating to have a big trip like this to look forward to, one that I want to feel good about myself on and it makes dieting worth it.  

Now I'm off to clean up my house, catch up on laundry, and get ready for our mini vacation.  Kate and Christian are both running in the Country Kids Relay race tomorrow; the fastest kids from each school compete against each other.  Kate ran last year and it was pretty fun.  This year her race is at 7:45a.m.  :-O  Kinda crazy, but I think it'll be fun.  Christian is FAST and is super excited.  He's the anchor on their team.  I have NO IDEA where the kids got their running gene from.  Sure wasn't from me!!

Happy Friday! Have a great weekend, everyone!

MaryBeth-How is your mom? I'm praying.


Wednesday, May 15, 2013


It helps to have little rewards along the way, to keep motivated and what not.

So, here's my list:

10 pounds lost = Watch (not this exact one... Just a white watch with some bling)

20 pounds lost =Pedicure

30 pounds lost = Toms
40 pounds lost = New Swimsuit

50 pounds lost = New Wardrobe ;-)
I have tons of inspiration pics pinned to my fashion board on Pinterest

I can't wait to try out new styles!

Happy Hump Day! 4 more pounds til I get my watch.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Checking In

Hey guys!
Sorry for the long silent episode.  I wasn't giving you the silent treatment, I promise. 

Long story short, I've basically lost and regained and lost the same 5 pounds since I last posted.

It seems like every time I get my mojo back, I decide that I can cheat a bit; for a good reason, of course.  The first time it was a reunion with a family I lived with years ago.  We had a blast and I enjoyed the food; it was delicious.  I gained two pounds from the weekend.  It should have been more.  Trust me. 

Then I slowly tried to get back on track and was doing okay until last weekend.  We had been invited to an authentic Italian dinner made by some good friends.  I figured I could eat HCG friendly to an extent; skip the pasta, eat chicken and salad, etc..

No dice.

It was a full-on 5 course meal.  It was absolutely AMAZING and delicious and I ate it all.  Almost. 

So today, I'm not quite down to the lowest I've seen since starting HCG.  Yesterday I was completely on plan, but neglected my water.

I'm focusing on drinking loads of water and eating on plan. 

I really need to get these pounds off.  It's going to take time and dedication and I can't half-ass it.  Excuse the language. 

Life has been fairly stressful, and it's hard to stick to the diet, but it's the only way I'm going to lose weight and learn not to take my frustrations out on food.  It's a hard lesson to learn.

Hope you guys are having a good week!

Friday, May 3, 2013


So I'm down 4.6 pounds so far in 5 days.  Not too shabby.

Today I was kind of getting down about how MUCH I have to lose.  But then, I just reminded myself that at least I'm working on it, at least the scale is going down.  Right!?  I have to start somewhere.

I feel very toxic right now, despite doing amazingly well with my water intake.  Yesterday I drank close to 100oz, but all day yesterday and again today I have a really bad headache.  I took 800mg of ibuprofen and so far it hasn't touched it. It does make drinking water easier, though, because it's like my body is craving water to flush out all the crappola that is being released.

That's going to be my motto.  Take it one day at a time, and do my best that day.  I'll report back on Monday!

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

It's working

Hi Friends!
How are you? It is sunny and HOT here today, and I am loving it!! 

So this is my 3rd day on HCG and it's working.  I'm down a little over 3 pounds, woot!  I am very excited to see the scale moving downwards.  I have high hopes that come July/August I'll be a good 20-30 pounds lighter.  Have I said all this already? I can't remember.

Anyway, I'm keeping at it, and trying my best to get in 90oz of water a day. 

Miss Nora is not sleeping well, and now she's not feeling well either.  I have an appt with a  naturalist on Friday to see if he can help figure out the reasons she isn't sleeping.  Fingers crossed! Josh and I are so bleary eyed and brain dead it's not even funny. 

All in all, things are going well. YAY!

Have a wonderful day! 

PS divad- Thanks for your encouragement!!!