Saturday, February 27, 2010

Caaaaan you feel, the looooove tonight....

Hey Everyone,
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your kind words, encouragement, ideas, everything. It means so much to me. It means the difference between giving up, and actually DOING what I blog about... continuing on even when it looks impossible.

I took this weekend off. I haven't binged by any means, but I'm also not counting calories or worrying about what I'm eating. I'll start fresh on Monday after I go to the store and have chicken and spinach on hand again. ;-)

Apparently cutting out all grains and most carbs (carbs from wheat and bread mostly; I still ate vegetables and they have some carbs) didn't really give me the weight loss catalyst I was hoping for. So, back to the drawing board.

I think I will go back to calorie counting, and try to stick mainly to lean meats, vegetables, and fruits, but not restrict myself from ever having dairy and carbs. Basically, I'm going to shoot for a well rounded meal, but not eat the entire loaf of bread slathered with honey butter or whatever. =)

I think I'm also going to try to get back on the treadmill for my HIIT. Since I stopped doing that my weight loss has stopped. It all depends on my hip/SI joint, but I'll give it a go. I'll also keep my Leslie video with weights in rotation, and if I can figure out how to fix my Shred video, I'll do that too. Maybe do a video one day and HIIT on the treadmill the next or something.

I am feeling much, much better. I basically cried all day yesterday so my husband came home and held me, then I went to a baby shower for my sister and then came home and went to bed. I slept horribly, but at least I was laying in bed resting. I do think that my thyroid is all sorts of wonky again. I'm constantly freezing, then sweating, and I *feel* horrible. Like, emotionally. I have bouts of rage which is how I was before I saw Dr.Ray in Arizona.

I just saw him a few weeks ago, so it shouldn't be back like this already. I'm hoping that what happened is the drops I take (which are electrically charged water, specific to my body and hormones) may have gotten messed up from the x-ray machine at the airport. Dr. Ray did warn me of this and since all I had was a small duffle, I'm hoping that's what happened. I ordered more and they are mailing them to me so we'll see if they help.

Anyway, I'm doing much better and I'm ever so grateful for all of you guys. I really, really am. Without your support I think I would have thrown in the towel. Except that I *NEED* to get this weight off. So, here we go. The skinny turtle is back in the race! =)

Friday, February 26, 2010

Perfect 10 Challenge Update


I am so, so, so, so upset right now. I weighed in this morning at 167. Up a freaking pound. I am so on the verge of a mental breakdown. I mean, what is the POINT of eating freaking chicken and vegetables for breakfast, lunch and dinner if my body isn't going to lose weight? WHAT IS THE POINT, I ASK???? And yes, I know it's healthy and blah, blah, blah but dang. I feel like I've been pushing myself, and if slipping up and eating 2 cookies in a week is going to make me gain a pound... maybe the Skinny Turtle is going to be roadkill.

I know this is so negative, and I apologize. It's just that people all around me, in real life and in blogland, are losing weight. Just yesterday ALONE I talked to 2 girls I know who have lost 12 and 17.5 pounds respectively in the last 5 weeks. How? BY CUTTING OUT CARBS. Well, I've done that AND cut out dairy and where has it gotten me? UP a pound.

I am seriously crying right now. Like, real tears, streaming down my face. I don't have the energy for this. I try so hard, I try to make it fit into my day, I make separate meals for myself, I eat chicken over and over and over for nothing???? Not even a tiny loss?

And what is UP with me weighing on a Tuesday and seeing a low number, then weighing on Friday and that number has been obliterated? This has happened to me at least 3 times now. It sucks. It really, really sucks.

I just don't know what to do. I'm really at a loss. I'm exercising and I've cut out 95% of ALL grains--oatmeal, wheat, rice, EVERYING-- and dairy. My body is stupid and it sucks and I really resent it right now.

I haven't been sneaking things here and there. At most I have 2-3 things that may contain dairy or grains a week. A WEEK. I feel like I've been in bootcamp, training and disciplining myself and have nothing to show for it.

I'm very sad. I'm very frustrated. I'm very mad. I feel like a complete, total and utter failure. I mean, I must be a failure if everyone else can cut out carbs and lose such huge amounts of weight, right?

To make it all worse I haven't lost ONE SINGLE POUND this entire month. Not one. And what's worse, I GAINED.

I feel sick. Emotionally drained and almost betrayed. WHY won't my body let these extra pounds go? I don't need them. I'm not starving myself. I'm eating healthy foods. I'm exercising. I don't get it. I've even had to stop reading blogs. I can't bear the fact that everyone around me is losing. It makes me want to scream and cry and shout profanities.

After I weighed I got really pissed off. I went to try to do my Jillian workout and the dang DVD doesn't work. I tried it 3 times and it won't read. So I did what any lunatic would do. I started deep cleaning my kitchen. I pulled out my stove and scrubbed the floor, the walls, the stove. I pulled out my refrigerator and did the same thing. I scrubbed dishes. I swept the floor. And I cried.

Seriously, you guys, I need help. ANY ideas, ANY suggestions will help. I don't need a bunch of comfort; I know there is nothing you guys can do. I know I've done my best. I just don't know what to do now. It's so hard to stay motivated and keep pushing myself to exercise (which I hate) to eat chicken and carrot sticks and celery when my family is having fresh homemade bread, pasta, cream sauces.

I feel on the edge of giving up. Very, very close to giving up. Because I don't have the mental stamina to give myself to losing weight if the weight isn't going to come off. :'(

I am really, truly sorry for such a downer post. Honestly, I am. But I am not going to hide behind a false front. I'm going to tell it like it is. And it ai'nt pretty.

I guess I need to give a fact about myself for the challenge. The challenge in which I was supposed to lose 20 pounds and in fact have only lost 7. Bleh.

Ok, here it is. I never, never, ever wear my hair down. I can't stand it in my face or on my neck. It's always pulled back in a ponytail or bloop, even when I sleep.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I am now The Skinny Turtle

Hee Hee, I loved my analogy of the skinny turtle so much I changed my blog to reflect it.


I learned something...

And that something is that if I don't work out in the morning... it doesn't get done. I was out with the kids until after 1pm today, came home and settled my youngest in for his nap, put a movie on for my older two, put my Jillian DVD in, started to do it and then turned it off.

I just don't have the energy. Is that lame or what!? It was not something I could push through. So, I guess today is a rest day from exercise and then it's back to the grindstone tomorrow morning.

I had a HUGE salad for lunch, with chicken. All my chicken is gone now, so tonight is going to be grocery shopping. Yay. :-P

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's weigh in for the Perfect 10 Challenge. I hope to see 165.5 again!

I feel really boring and don't have much to say. OH! The Leslie video I do is her 2 mile intervals. I should try to do it with my weights, that would definitely up the ante.

So far today I've been 100% with my no dairy, no grains. GRETA-- if you're reading this, I WILL get my measurements to you. Apparently we don't have a tape measure (my husband works in construction... it's sacrilegious that he doesn't carry one in his car! Or own one!) ;-) So as soon as I can get one I'll take them and get them to you. Thanks!!!

Hmmmm, not much else happening on the homefront. I'll come back and report if anything exciting happens. :-D

Wednesday, February 24, 2010


Today was going really well and then I... wobbled. I ate two oatmeal craisin cookies. TWO. UGH, I'm so disappointed in myself. It started with that stupid chocolate. I've been really good about eating no dairy or grains, and as soon as I ate that sweet chocolate... I wobbled. For dinner I ate a chicken breast and resisted the fresh baked, DELICIOUS smelling bread I made. I ate a big salad; two servings.

So, it's back on track 100% tomorrow. No more chocolate (I gave the rest to my brother). No more dairy and no more grains. I really hope this doesn't adversely affect my weigh in on Friday.

I didn't mention this before, but on Tuesday I stepped on the scale after my workout and I was down to.... 165.5! The lowest I have been yet, and a 1.5 pound loss from the day before. I hope to see at least that tomorrow, if not more. But now that I've eaten wheat, oatmeal and dairy all in one day I'm not sure what will happen.

Ah well. It's not the end of the road. It's a wobble. A blip. I'll move past it and keep on trucking, eating healthy and doing my Shred.

After all, Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down. :-D

Sweaty Mess

Whew, I just finished my workout and I am a... sweaty mess! It's definitely getting easier and is TOTALLY doable. I don't know why I have to fight an Armageddon battle to talk myself into doing it every day. Today I sooooooooo badly wanted to just curl up on the couch with a cup of coffee and my new library book. I didn't want to sweat and ache and feel my muscles burn. I almost caved and just did my Leslie video because it's easier for me. But I did the Shred instead.

Sunshine Mama-Um, you'd probably breeze right through the whole thing, because you are in WAY better shape than I am! You might just start right in on Level 3, but then it's pretty pointless to buy the DVD. ;-)

I've had a cup of coffee, 2 oranges, 2 eggs, 2 turkey dogs and 2 squares of dark chocolate with sea salt (YUM). I ate the turkey dogs and chocolate right before I worked out, and I wouldn't recommend it. It's not so pleasant. :-P

My husband is once again out of town for work, so it's just the kidlets and I. We are having some friends over for dinner, so that will be fun. Speaking of which, I need to put a loaf of bread in the breadmaker. I won't be having any. =( I'm making spaghetti for all the kiddos but will probably eat my chicken tonight. I'm getting very tired of chicken, but this last batch I made I didn't season quite right. I just sprinkled some Lawry's seasoning salt, garlic and onion powder on them. They are much better and way more moist when I marinate them.

I had refried beans, hamburger and a few crushed corn chips with salsa for dinner last night and my stomach has been in turmoil ever since. It feels like that stuff is gluing my stomach/intestines together. Blech. Won't be repeating that.

It's also once again time to go to the grocery store. I get SO tired of making that trip! But I have to do it if I'm going to keep my chicken, fruits and veggies stocked.

Well, I'm off to shower and then do some housework. Yay. Not. ;-)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Plodding along...

Today has gone really well so far. =) I did my Jillian Shred video, with my 3 pound hand weights, on an empty stomach. WOOT! I've eaten on plan; I did eat 5 chicken nuggets that had some breading on them, but other than that have only had a chicken breast with BBQ sauce and a banana with peanut butter.

Jen came over to visit and it was super nice to see her. =) It's very weird not being pregnant with her, as this is the first time that we haven't been pregnant at the same time. With all 3 of our other kiddos we were in the trenches together. ;-) Jen is my sister in law and friend, for those who don't know. =)

I need to go get dinner started. I'm making taco salad for my family. Not sure what I'll eat yet. Maybe hamburger and refried beans. Have I mentioned that I LOVE refried beans? I buy the vegetarian kind with no lard/pork and I seriously enjoy them; even plain! I know, I'm weird.

We're still house hunting. It's really hard to do it remotely; no idea of which school districts the houses are in, what the neighborhood is like, etc... We do have friends who are helping us out which helps tremendously! We're shooting for a move date of mid-April, but we have to play it by ear because if we don't have a house... well, we can't really move! LOL

I haven't been reading blogs much lately, so I apologize for not leaving comments even though you guys are so faithful to leave me some. I will try to get back in the groove here soon.

Hope you all had a wonderful, successful, healthy day!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Bread is calling to me....

Today has been very successful so far. It started bright and early at 5:30a.m. with my kiddos waking up. ;-)

I made a green smoothie with fresh strawberries, 2 bananas and spinach, however my box of spinach went almost all bad over the weekend. =( I just bought it on Thursday, but it was so bad I had to pick out the good leaves and there weren't that many so the smoothie was fairly watery. My kids still drank it down, and I had probably 15-20 ounces.

I did my Jillian video; it wasn't as hard as I was expecting and I even used my 3lb weights. WOOT!

Then we took a walk to the park and played for an hour and walked back. For lunch I had a chicken breast with BBQ sauce. We all took a nap and when I woke up I was STARVING. Everything BREAD sounded sooooo good. I thought about making a homemade loaf for dinner tonight. I thought about the leftover pizza in the fridge. I thought about the Cheetos in the cupboard. I thought about the banana bread on the counter. All things bread were calling my name; no, they were YELLING my name!

I got up and made the kids some apple slices with caramel sauce and had 1/4 of an apple myself--sans caramel. Then I ate an orange. Then I came on here. =)

I'm still feeling pretty hungry so I think I'll go eat another chicken breast because I do not want to eat bread! Why? Because I did gain a pound today on my weigh in. =( I'm at 167. But, honestly, I wasn't sad to see that number. I was glad it wasn't higher and I *know* it will come off with the hard work and healthy eating I have planned.

So, so far so good today! Let's keep this ball rolling!

Sunday, February 21, 2010


Oh man, my husband and I had such a blast this weekend! It was so nice to go away and relax, laugh, talk, catch up. It's been too long! Next weekend marks 6 years together, and it is only getting better and better. =)

I expect to see a gain on the scale tomorrow. I didn't do horribly this weekend, but did eat wheat and other grains. I had a Subway sandwich today, ate those Rice Works chips, etc... But all weekend I've been mentally gearing up to get back on this wagon and JUST DO IT.

Over the weekend I saw many thin, healthy girls and I so want to be one of them! I am tired of this extra baggage on my frame, tired of feeling self-conscious in my clothes. So the plan is to buckle down and just get rid of it already!!!

I am going to go bake my chicken as soon as I'm done here. I am also going to strive to do my Shred video 5x a week. First thing in the morning, otherwise it won't get done. Obviously once the big move gets under way this might not be possible, but I'm not going to give up. I'm not going to just say, "To heck with it" and become lazy like I have for the past 3 weeks.

I'm excited to be diligent and serious about my eating and exercise and see that scale start moving again. It IS possible. I want to lose this extra weight by July, and I know I can do it. One day at a time.

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Perfect 10 Challenge Update

Happy Friday everyone!

Last night I had Chinese food. Say what!?!? Yep, I did. I had chow mein and orange chicken. And then got a super bad stomach ache and... well, let's just say spicy orange chicken is not nearly as nice coming up as it is going down.

I weighed and I gained 1/2 a pound; my official weigh in is on Monday. Hopefully I'll lose it again before then.

We're going away for the weekend, and we're bringing some food and eating out too. So I'll strive to make good choices.

I don't have much of anything interesting to report or say today; mostly I'm just getting ready to go away, getting the kids psyched up, writing out their schedules, etc...

It was suggested we give a fact about our father, in honor of Steve's dad. My dad died in a boating accident when I was 4 and I may devote a different post to it. Today, I don't have the mental energy to go there. SO. My silly fact for the day is this:

I can't eat cinnamon candy of any kind. Altoids, Cinnabears, Hot Tamales, Red Hots... etc. They give me a MASSIVE headache. Just thinking about them makes my head start throbbing. I hate them so bad that if I were starving on a deserted island, with only cinnamon candy for food, I'd probably die before eating them. ;-)

So, this next week I plan to cook up some more chicken and keep my grains and dairy to a minimum. The only dairy I'm having is in the occasional latte. Which, granted, is a LOT of milk. But sometimes I just need that caffeine boost. The grains are way harder. I realized yesterday that I can eat corn chips, with say, GUACAMOLE! YUM. But I tend to not have very good portion control when it comes to that. ;-)

This weekend I'm bringing some Rice Works chips- Sweet Chili- with us. I know rice is a grain. I know I'm going to eat some. They are SOOO good. I could easily eat the whole bag over the weekend. So I'm only going to bring a portion with us.

I'm also working on keeping up my water intake.

Oh! And jumping on the exercise trampoline? Two words: BONE JARRING OUCH!!! It is NOT the same as the big, floppy, soft, cushy trampolines that you see in backyards. My body was literally cracking as I jumped, holding my hand weights. I called it quits after ten minutes (and even going that long was HARD).

Well, I'm off. I hope you all are doing well and have a fabulous weekend!

Thursday, February 18, 2010


So, it's Thursday. Yay! ;-) One day closer to the weekend, WOOT!

I had a mini fall-on-my-face moment last night. Not actually, although that would be quite possible. I'm very clumsy. I mean with my eating. I was getting really stressed; it's time to go grocery shopping yet again which means my dairy/grains free foods are limited and dwindling. And I've been eating chicken all week and don't want more. ;-)

I ended up eating 2 more cookies and 3 cheetohs. Not the end of the world, but not great either. I had really, really wanted to be close to 100% grain free to see if it would make a big difference on the scale. If the scale isn't moving any more quickly then I think I'll abandon my dairy/grain free menu for a while. It's too stressful when I'm already dealing with family stress and moving stress. I haven't felt any better not eating it, so there isn't really anything making me WANT to stick with it.

Baking up all that chicken was definitely a good idea and I'll be doing it again next Monday when we get back from our trip. Thanks for the input on that, by the way. We are going to leave the kids, but I've been telling them over and over how much fun they are going to have, that we will be coming back, and that we'll have surprises for them. So far, so good. =)

Today I ate 3 sausages for breakfast, 2 chicken nuggets and 2 turkey dogs. Bleh, that sounds so gross! HA HA, but I don't have any more spinach, salad or fresh chicken. I'll be happy to have that all in stock again.

I am really working towards living each day one at a time and not worrying about the future. When I let myself start thinking too far ahead everything gets overwhelming and I can't focus on eating healthy; I just grab whatever is in front of me. Same thing with exercising. Lately it has NOT fit into my schedule. Sure, I could MAKE it work, but my kids would suffer and I'm not willing to do that. They need me like crazy right now, so I'm going to be there for them.

I do, however, hope to start jumping on my mini trampoline. Hee hee, that sounds funny, but it's true! I heard that it helps get the fat out of your cells and into your blood stream. I don't know if that's Urban Legend or not, but whatever. I can jump on the trampoline for 20 minutes and it won't kill me. ;-)

I have a busy day (what's new, right? Everyone is busy!) and I'm attempting to take my kids shopping with me again this afternoon. STOP LAUGHING! It's a big deal for me! :-D I hope you all are doing well!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

So ding dang tired!

I could sleep for about 25850 hours straight, it feels like. My kiddos were up until past 10 last night; it was so frustrating! Normally they are asleep by 8:30 at the latest. And did they sleep in this morning? No, they did not.

Today has been interesting. I have my 7 month niece here, which is super fun. But my little Owen, who is 2, had a major melt down today. He was just crying and thrashing around for over 10 minutes in my arms. I wasn't holding him tightly, but I wasn't going to put him down until he was done. He was SOBBING. I was talking quietly to him, asking him what was wrong. Finally, he managed to splutter, "I MISS DADDY!" Oh my goodness, I could practically HEAR my heart breaking. Yesterday he randomly came up and told me that he had missed my husband and I when he was at grandma's house. So we called Josh and he talked to Owen for a bit and things were better after that.

Josh and I are supposed to go away this weekend to celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary, but I just don't know if I can do it. I talked to Josh about just taking the kids with us. I don't want to put any more stress or strain on them. Sheesh, I'm crying just writing this! It's so sad and stressful.

Anyway, eating wise I've done pretty good. I had celery sticks and hummus for breakfast, a few baby carrots for snack and 1 oatmeal/cranberry cookie. I shouldn't have had the cookie, since it has both dairy and grains (not to mention lots of sugar and fat) but I won't be eating anymore.

I sort of expected to see a much bigger loss than .5 pound on my last weigh in, since I cut out basically 95% of all dairy and grains from my diet. We'll see what the scale says on Friday when I weigh for the Perfect 10 Challenge. I am doing my best to stick to it; my main problem is in the area of snacks. There aren't THAT many options to snack on when you cut out all grains and dairy.

My kiddos are resting now, so I'm going to go attempt to do the Shred. My ding dang back is hurting again; it seems every time I get back in gear and start exercising it flares up. I may just do the modified "easy" versions of all the exercises. And I need to eat something for lunch, too, since it's almost 2pm. I have one chicken breast left, so that'll probably do it.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Sweet Success

YES! Today has been fantastic. :-)

I did my 30 Day Shred Video. I did not want to. I even set the timer for 30 minutes so I could read as soon as I put my kids down, thinking I'd do the video after a bit of rest. When the timer went off, I groaned and put the video in, thinking I'd buy a bit more reading time while the previews were going. Instead, the video started right where I left off yesterday. :-P

So I started from the beginning. I had a fleeting thought to only do 2 circuits; sort of a "work my way up to the whole workout" mentality. But I nipped that in the bud and did the entire thing. Instead of using my 3 pound weights, which, sadly are too heavy for me I used two cans of Progresso soup. ;-) A little over a pound each and much, much more doable.

There was, quite literally, sweat FLYING off of me as I did my jumping jacks, jump ropes, etc... It was hard, my muscles burned, but I did it. GO ME!

I also have been spot on with eating. I had a couple nuts first thing this morning, then made the kids crepes. I made them with almond milk and cinnamon and they smelled SO GOOD. We eat them with organic French Vanilla yogurt and a bit of berry jam. Delicious. BUT, I did not indulge. GO ME!!

I drank some more of my smoothie from yesterday, then for lunch had a baked chicken breast. I made my sister and kids corn dogs, and Lord, they smelled SOOOO good. SO crunchy and sweet and savory. But I resisted! GO ME!!!

I had 2 squares of organic milk chocolate (that stuff is SO good. A serving is 4 squares and 220 calories total), 2 Daim candies and 2 Bit O Honey bits while I read with my cup of tea... which I also put almond milk in. It was good!

Then I had some baby carrots and took a 20 minute walk with my kiddos outside. The weather lightened up and the sun came out and it was glorious to get out and breathe fresh air. I came home and blitzed my home. I got caught up on the laundry and dishes, swept and picked up.

Then, since Josh is out of town, I took the kids to McDonald's. I got them Happy Meals, which they are always asking for but never receive. ;-) I got them with the apples and milk, rented a movie for them and brought them home to enjoy their feast. They are sitting at the mini trampoline as a table, watching the movie and eating their food and they are... blissed. It's so incredibly cute. Doesn't take much to totally make their day.

I resisted McDonald's. GO ME!!! I ended up eating yet another baked chicken breast with BBQ sauce. I still feel a little hungry, so I'm going to make up some celery and peanut butter sticks to snack on once my littles are in bed and I finish reading my book.

All in all, I totally rocked the Carpe Diem. :-D

Carpe Diem

Whooo boy. I ended up taking my son into the doctor yesterday. He is on antibiotics for an ear infection and 8 days later has developed a bad reaction. He has an itchy, red, bumpy rash all over his body. It totally looks like chicken pox, but it's not. It is really uncomfortable for him, though.

So, out went the plans for the concert at the library and a birthday party for one of his friends tonight. And in came the plan to take it easy at home, which frankly, I don't mind a bit. I'll take all the days I can get just being at home with my kiddos before the Moving Madness ensues. ;-)

I'm going to try to get in my Jillian workout today, which shouldn't be a problem. I've been doing really well with my eating, and I'm thankful for that. Yesterday I ended the day with meat loaf and a Weight Watcher's recipe I had for Oven Fries. I was grain and dairy free, besides the 2 squares of milk chocolate I had. Which is just fine with me. =)

I feel like just laying around all day and only doing the absolute bare minimum. But that doesn't help anything. Josh will be going out of town for work again tonight, and I always try to take things a little bit easier on the days he is not here to help with bedtime. But that doesn't mean I have to morph into a lazy slug. ;-)

I don't have much else to say, so I'll go get started on the things that need to be done. Pronto. =)

Monday, February 15, 2010

Back in the saddle...

Today is going really well, and I'm so happy!

I made a big smoothie- 6 cups spinach, 3 bananas, 2 cups strawberries and I had 32 ounces of that for breakfast. I had a baked chicken breast and 6 baby carrots for lunch. I had 2 organic milk chocolate squares and 1/4 cup sweet/salty nuts from Trader Joe's for a snack. ;-) I'm about to brew a pot of decaf coffee to warm me up, and then I need to figure out dinner. I'm thinking meatloaf and potatoes.

I began Jillian's workout, but only got through one circuit before my kids needed me. But something is better than nothing! I'll keep plugging at it, as much as I can.

My kids are totally freaking out. I think the whole stress/confusion of moving is wearing on them and causing them to act out. If anyone has any advice or helpful suggestions, I'm all ears. We try to talk to them, explain to them, comfort them, and make things as normal as possible, but it doesn't really seem to be working.

I guess that's something else that I need to just keep working with. It gets old really fast, really frustrating and tiring. But I am trying to see it from their perspective and be compassionate. By the end of the day though, I'm really glad to hand the reigns over to Josh for a while. ;-) Thank goodness I have my husband; I don't know what I'd do without him! Which is why I'll gladly follow him to another state. :-D

Happy Monday!

I was down half a pound this morning, which makes me happy! Slowly but surely, I'm getting there.

The weekend was busy but good. We only did a day trip on Saturday, so that was a LOT of driving, but we made some excellent contacts. One man in particular who is going to help us find a house to rent.

I also did well with my eating. Not 100% free of grains and dairy, but pretty darn good. In the last 5 days I've only had the following grains/dairy:

A latte on Saturday. Yeah, a lot of milk but I didn't finish it and it was only 12oz.
One slice of pizza.
Half cup of ice cream.
A couple croutons and some caesar dressing.

Not too bad, for me. My problem is this... NUTS. I have taken to snacking on them since they are an "ok" food for me to eat. But they are really high in fat, and they go down easy, which can really add up. SO I am reigning myself in with those.

I also confiscated a menu from Applebee's. We ate there Friday night; I had the Paradise Chicken salad and it's really good. Anyway, I may have been influenced by the Bahama Mama and Jamaican Freeze I had, but I totally stole the drinks and desserts menu. Why, you ask?


Ha ha, I felt like such a rebel, because I'm totally going to post the whole thing on the web so the world can see how ridiculously high in calories the food is. And I feel even more like an SSSS (super stealthy sneaky spy) because they tried to hide it in the DESSERTS menu, way in the back.

Anyway, we had a great weekend. On Sunday I woke up to a cute note from my husband on the mirror, complete with a picture of us from our wedding. On the 28th of this month we'll have been married 6 years. =)

My kiddos are hungry and so am I, so I'm off to make breakfast. Have a great week, everyone!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Perfect 10 Update

***Steve, who started the Perfect 10 Challenge, needs prayers, good thoughts, etc... as his father died of a heart attack yesterday.***

Well, here we are at Friday again. Today I am having a really emotional day. As in, I can't stop crying! My kiddos are so incredibly confused. We are taking them to their grandparents for the weekend while we house hunt, and they think we are moving without them. It's exhausting trying to explain to them, when their little minds don't get it.

I didn't weigh this morning; my 2 year old figured out how to jump out of his crib, so we were up pretty early. Whenever that happens I go into zombie mode, changing diapers, getting kids dressed, getting breakfast, and completely zone out weighing before I eat or drink.

My goals for this weekend and this next coming week are:

Eat no grains or dairy. I am packing up some chicken, nuts, fruits and vegetables to take with me so I don't screw up while out of town.

Drink water. Still a hardship for me. But I'm working on it.

Not give up or get depressed about lack of exercise. In a perfect world I'd have time and the physical ability to even do just 20 minutes on the treadmill. But I don't live in a perfect world, so I have to be creative.

I'm really struggling to stay positive and make this whole move an adventure for my kids. I know that if they see me crying all the time (it is impossibly hard leaving my family and friends) that it will drag them down and make them scared. So I'm trying to stay upbeat, with frequent trips to the bathroom for a little cry. ;-)

I hope that by Monday I'll see a weight loss from cutting out grains and dairy. I am sticking to this Perfect 10 Challenge, even though I really don't see how I can lose 20 pounds. Although that started out as my main goal, things have changed drastically in my life, and now my goal is to learn to live healthy no matter what stage of life I'm in.

Kyle made a great statement: "you lose weight at the table, but you get healthy at the gym." So true!

So, although I do plan to eat healthy, I will also work on fitting in some exercise here and there, even if it's just 5 minutes of marching in place, 5 push ups here and there, etc...

Ok, fact about myself:

My ankles "crack" when I walk. It sounds like I have Snap, Crackle and Pop from Rice Krispies living in my ankle joints! I could never be a Super Stealthy Sneaky Spy because my ankles would give me away every time. It doesn't hurt and it's been that way ever since I can remember. Anyone else have this?

Well, I'd best be off. I have a busy weekend ahead, as I'm sure most of you all do too! I'm not the only one with a crazy life! :-D

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Busy Day

Argh, here we go again! Compiling lists of addresses of houses to check out. It's such tedious, time consuming work! But the end result will be a house for us to live in, so it's worth it. ;-)

Today was a great day, eating wise. I ate no grains or dairy. For breakfast I had an orange, a banana and 3 turkey sausage. For lunch I had a green smoothie. For dinner I had baked chicken and green beans. I had a cup of coffee with non-dairy creamer. My husband brought home some organic milk chocolate, so I did have a couple small squares of that... and there is some milk in it. But overall, I was dairy and grain free.

My back is starting to feel better, so I'm hoping to start doing some HIIT on the treadmill or maybe even attempt the Shred soon. I've had my nephew the past 2 days, have my niece and nephew tomorrow, then have to pack up my kiddos and head to Seattle with Josh to house hunt. So the days are very busy.

I've read more than once that 80% of losing weight is diet and 20% is exercise. So I figure if I really watch my food and eat lower calories and cut out grains and dairy, I just may have a fighting chance of continuing to lose weight, even without regular exercise. We'll see how that goes. =)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


I just got back from the store and I'm really excited. =)

First of all, my kids did wonderfully, wonderfully well in the stores. Christian had one MAJOR meltdown, but all it took was the confiscation of his gum and he settled right down and decided to be obedient after that. ;-)

I stocked up on lots of 97% fat free chicken, frozen petite green beans, frozen corn, frozen peas, lean hamburger, nuts, spinach, carrots, celery, peanut butter, etc... I am going to have a bake-a-thon with the chicken, marinating it in a couple different spices for variety.

I also bought stuff for quick meals: lasagna, chicken enchiladas, taco bake, etc... I bought all fat free stuff as possible; cottage cheese, sour cream, cream of chicken, etc... These will come in very handy for my family during our packing and moving time.

I also decided that I am going to attempt SUNSHINE MAMA'S push up challenge she's been doing. It's something I can do on my own time, on my own floor. I may also try the C2K challenge as well. Since I have a treadmill in my own house, it would be possible. Baby steps, right?

All in all, I'm encouraged to continue on this journey. I'm determined to lose this weight, and I know that is going to take dedication and hard work. I'm going to have to make it work. Fit it into my family routine.

I think I've made a good start with my cart load of goodies... healthy goodies!

The Mirror

I didn't get a workout in yesterday. :'( My back was hurting so bad; I could hardly lift my 2 year old into his crib at naptime. It frustrates me so badly. SO badly. All I want to do is get fit and healthy, exercise my body, burn calories. I can't even walk on the treadmill when my back/hip/SI flares up.

I was already feeling down about not being able to work out, and then I took my daughter to get her hair cut. There were mirrors. It was not good. You wanna talk about tree trunks. My legs are SO big. Bleh. It just really hit me square in the forehead that, Yep. I have 35 additional pounds to lose.

I normally avoid mirrors at all costs. I didn't consciously realize this until I saw myself in the mirror yesterday. No wonder. It's not a happy, fun thing to see yourself in bloated version. Especially when everything seems to be working against you to lose the extra fat padding.

So last night was really hard. Plus, my husband was out of town working which always makes me sad. This morning I feel on the verge of sinking into a sad, sad state. Not overeating, but just laying around moaning and complaining and feeling sorry for myself.

But I WILL NOT DO THAT. I am going to get up, showered and take all 3 of my little ones to the grocery store. Some people may laugh at that, but for me, it's a big deal to wrangle 3 kids and shop. But I'm gonna have to get used to it, because once we move it'll become the norm. So I'm going to do it. And I'm going to fill my cart with lots of chicken, fruits and vegetables, and make-ahead meal stuff.

I will not give up. That won't help anything at all. I just encouraged my friend Dawne to persevere, and I'm going to take my own advice.

I have SO many things to be thankful for. I have an adoring husband who works SO hard for us, who loves me with all of his heart, no matter what I weigh, who supports and encourages me. I have 3 healthy, wonderful children who make me laugh (yeah, sometimes they make me pull my hair out too, but that comes with the territory, no?). I have a really supportive family. I have amazing friends.

There are lots of big changes going on, with the move, with my own life learning how to deal with stress/exercise/healthy eating. But it's all a process. I need to step back and focus on TODAY. I get so overwhelmed when I think about the future and all that needs to be done. But you know what? I can't do ANYTHING about the future. All I have is today and I'm going to make today count.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


So, I weighed in at 166.5 again today, which is fine by me! I'm thankful now for every maintain, as it means I won't have to "re-lose" any pounds. And franky, I'm not doing much in the way of active weight loss.

My back and knees are hurting today, but I'm going to aim to do a workout during nap time. I've eaten a bowl of Kashi mixed with Life cereal this morning so far. Working on drinking my water.

This time from now until we move is going to be a great learning curve. I don't know if I'll have time to exercise every day, especially when the packing/moving gets into high gear. (By the way, Dawnie, I SOOOO wish you were here to help me pack! I detest it!!) Anyway, I thought today that if I don't have time to exercise, then I need to really keep an eagle eye on my food. I know my tendency is going to be to go for easy stuff... ordering pizza for dinner, grabbing burgers, whatever is fast and easy... and UNHEALTHY!!!

So, I need to plan ahead, make some meals that I can just throw in the oven. Hmmmm, that's a really great idea actually! I'll do that next week.

Although this move is a big change, there are definitely many positives about it. I'm determined to have a good attitude and make the most of it; make it an adventure for our kids. I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry when we told our kids about the move. The younger two boys totally don't get it and don't care. But my daughter understands and is pretty confused why we won't be going to our main church center, why she won't be able to see her grandparents, cousins and friends as much.

I'm thankful they are so young and adaptable. It will be a good time for our family; a time to grow and a time to create new friendships.

Monday, February 8, 2010

The Big News

Ok, so here's the deal.

In July we bought our house. We moved in, in August. We bought this house for the school district, where our oldest will be starting school in September. My husband's commute just got shortened to half an hour each way. We LOVE our house.

A little less than two weeks ago Josh was approached by his boss and asked if he would consider relocating to another state. There is an office there that needs help, and Josh would be taking over. So, we're moving. By April 1st. ARGH!!!!

I have been crying a lot, because I'll be leaving behind all my friends and family. Both of our extended family live in the same town as us now, and with all my health issues they've been a huge support. Plus, we're all just really good friends, as well as family! So it's going to be a huge change.

It was absolutely unexpected, so we just took it from God's hand as His will. What else can you do? I'm just thankful my husband HAS a job, and we'll be debt free within 3 years (besides our beloved house) so it will be worth it. But still such a shock. I lay awake at night and my mind won't shut off.

Our daughter was supposed to start school here this year. She would've started Sunday children's meetings, and the young people that work with them are fantastic. She was sooooo looking forward to it. Josh's commute will be 2+ hours a day, because we're choosing to live near some friends, rather than his office.

Now, it's not like we're moving across the country. We'll be about 4 hours away, so totally within driving distance to home. But not "see-you-every-week" distance, like we're used to. There is also a sister church where we're going, so we'll have good friends and won't be completely alone.

So, it's TOTALLY not the end of the world, but it is/was a pretty life-altering situation. We've committed to be there for 3 years minimum. I hope we can move back after that time, but we'll just have to wait and see.

So that's all. That's what has been keeping me up at night and causing me stress. We're going this weekend to look for a house there. I mean, how crazy is that!?! In less than 6 weeks we'll be living in a different state. I have to learn where everything is... the stores, the library, find new doctors, dentists, chiropractors, etc...

I have to take my DRIVING TEST again, for crying out loud! I mean, my brain is soooo mushy! What if I fail!?!?!? Ha ha, what if I'm doomed to cart myself and my 3 children around via public transportation! Oh, the horror! :-D

Anyway, I know we'll be fine and I'm really thankful my kiddos are small (4yo, 3yo and 2yo) because they'll adjust well. I just did NOT see that coming, just when we were getting all settled into our cozy life with our wonderful house. :-P

So, my posting may be sporadic as we try to pack and move everything. But I do promise to do all that I can to continue these healthy habits, even during times of stress. Work out as possible, not making excuses. Eat healthy and not give myself an excuse to binge or munch on food just because things are hectic. And most of all....



I am just so excited the Saints won! WOOT WOOT! Don't get me wrong, I adore Peyton and think he is a great guy, but I also believe the Saints and New Orleans needed a morale boost in a bad way. And did you see Drew Brees with his son after the game!? Priceless.

Ok, enough about football. =)

I forgot to weigh this morning. I can't get it in my head that I weigh in on Mondays now. Plus, my middle son has an earache and has been waking up every 3 hours crying out in pain. So we're up around the clock. Today I've been up since 3:45a.m. I couldn't sleep after his last wake up, so at 5 I got up and attempted my Jillian video.

Um, yeah. I couldn't do it!!! Granted, I was exhausted and it was on an empty stomach, but still. So I laid down on the couch and was going to try to sleep. Then I thought, "Dang it, I'm already awake and I'm not going to give up. I'll do my Leslie video." So I did. And it wasn't easy! Holy Moly how quickly my body deteriorates and loses strength when I stop working out for 1.5 weeks!

So anyway, I did my Leslie video and then took a shower (really hot-- my thyroid isn't quite back to normal yet) and then I was all wet and had drunk 24oz of water and didn't want to weigh. So I'll shoot for tomorrow.

I hope to be back a little later with "my news". ;-) Unfortunately, it's not nearly as fun as my sister-in-law Jen's news. She's having a baby!!!!!!!

CONGRATS, my good friend. I'm so happy for you!!!! =)

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Super Bowl Sunday

This is my 120th post. Just FYI. ;-)

So today is the Super Bowl. I used to love, love, love football. When Josh and I got together, I knew more about football than he did. But now, after having kids, everything has changed. I can't watch it.

Currently, I am actually physically nauseated. I'm so stressed about the game, and I don't even have a vested interest! How silly is that!?!? It's weird; I had to leave the room because I was going to be physically sick. I'm nervous someone is going to get hurt, I'm nervous "my" team is going to lose, I just can't handle the pressure.

It's the same way with the Olympics and Ice Skating Championships. I can't watch them live because I get all in knots for the athletes. I have to watch it once it's over and done with. So strange.

Anyway, I'm back from Phoenix, yay! For some reason I was really nervous to fly this time. It's a really turbulent ride. I guess the air pattern or something makes it extra bumpy, because every single flight I've taken to and from has been really bad. Like, so bad the stewards can't go down the aisle to give out drinks and stuff.

Anyway, I saw Dr. Ray and he checked my blood first. It was a LOT better than last time. No heavy metals, the cells aren't sticking together as much, less undigested fats and sugars. The size of the red blood cells was still on the small side, but definitely improved.

Next he checked my hormones, which were all out of balance. But I already knew that. ;-) He did say they were much easier to bring into balance, which means progress in the right direction. =)

So I am already feeling much better, and I'm very thankful for that. It's no fun to be stressed and overwhelmed all the time. Much better to have underlying calm, even if my actual life has stress in it.

I had a good trip. It was short, just overnight, but so worth it. I had a really funny taxi driver, Craig, but I'll have to share the story about him some other time.

I just wanted to check in since it's been a few days since my last post.

My plan for this week is to start the 30 Day Shred over and do Level 1 until I can do the entire workout at the advanced level. Then I'll move on to Level 2. I'm going to try to do it every day, but I know there are some things coming up that won't allow me to manage every day. But I'll do what I can, every day. This all or nothing mentality totally stopped me last week. Since I knew I couldn't do the 30 days with no interruptions, I didn't do it at all.

So dumb. :-P ANY day of exercise is better than none. So that's my plan, to work out with Jillian as often as possible. I will also strive to drink my water and eat healthy, wholesome food.

There are going to be some big, big changes in my life coming really soon. I hope to be able to share what those are soon (maybe even tomorrow) but since I have some IRL friends who read this, I can't say just yet. ;-)

This morning I weighed 168, but that was after I had eaten breakfast and had a cup of coffee, so I'm hoping my "true" weight is still around 166ish. I'll weigh tomorrow and see.

Hope you all are doing well, and I'll be back tomorrow with a progress report of how my day is going!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

I'm off to see the wizard....

Phew, things have been really hectic around here. I'm trying to get myself, my three kiddos and my dog ready for me to leave this afternoon. It takes a lot of work! ;-)

Since I will be in AZ tomorrow, I'm doing my perfect 10 challenge update today.

My original goal was to lose 20 pounds in the 10 weeks. I'm a little behind schedule for that, but I was thinking about it this morning and I'm okay with that. It's far better to learn healthy eating habits, not to turn to food in times of stress, begin to have a good workout schedule, etc... than reach a number within a certain amount of time. And the beautiful thing is that eventually I will lose ALL the weight I need to, if I stick to these new found habits.

So the things I continue to work on are:

Drink 85oz of water a day. This one is really tough for me, and it's really slipped these last few days. Hopefully when I get back from AZ I'll be able to start exercising again, because that really helps with getting the water down.

Stay within my calories each day.

Exercise as often as possible. This one has also pretty much crashed and burned this week. I'm not giving up, and will be back in the saddle soon.

Also, hopefully by tomorrow one of the bigger things that have been stressing me out will be resolved and I can start to move on.

Ok, so the interesting fact about me... I am dreadfully, horribly afraid of clowns, mimes and those people who stand on the streets pretending to be robots and what not. TERRIFIED. One time I was in CA and we were walking along the boardwalk. There was a guy painted all silver to look like a robot and he was doing his robot moves. Not the robot dance, but moving all jerky and what not. Well, I gave him a wide berth cuz he freaked me out!

Unfortunately, he zoned right in on me and slowly, mechanically started making his way toward me. I turned around and fled into a nearby shop. He followed me. Right into the store!!!! I am freaking out, bad. He cornered me in the store and then saw I was about to crap my pants from fear, or pass out, or both. Instead of shaking his freaky robot persona and saying, "Aw, man, I'm really sorry!" or something he just turned on his stiff, robotic heel and slowly, jerkily made his way back out to the street.

I stayed in the store for a long time before I could go back outside. That man seriously freaked my freak freak!!! And it sure didn't help my phobia.

When my husband and I were on our honeymoon in Hawaii there was another guy doing his robot thing. Except, we couldn't tell which was the real guy and which was just a prop.

Turns out the real guy is the man siting down, with the fake leg! Although, he was NOT scary because he didn't move. ;-)

Have a great Thursday and Friday everyone!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Whoa... where am I?

No worries, it's me!

I changed my background and weight loss ticker to a beach theme because ultimately, once I've shed these extra pounds, my husband and I are going to take a vacation together somewhere warm. With a beach. And I'll be in a bikini. So seeing that little beach and umbrella up there, and the summery, beachy background is motivation and a reminder of what I will reward myself with once my goal is accomplished. =)

Today was a good day. =) That one pound loss was really nice to see, for starters. Then I took the kiddos to the library; they've been waking up fairly early so we were set to go by 8:30a.m. I stopped at Java Crew and got a fat free, sugar free caramel silk. It's a vanilla caramel latte, and it's my new favorite drink. The only one I've found that still tastes really good after taking out the fat and sugar. ;-)

Then we dropped Charisma, our shih tzu off to be groomed and headed to the library. We got there a little after 9, and since the library doesn't open til 10 we went down to the duck pond where we found a fish that some bird had tortured. It was still alive, but was missing it's eye and it's intestines were strewn about. The kids were duly fascinated and grossed out. ;-) Then they got really scared that the birds (a heron, seagull and some ducks) were going to come poke THEIR eyes out, so we left.

I met my SIL and really good friend Jen at the library for kid's story time. That was super nice cuz we haven't seen each other in a long time.

I ate well today, and even drank some green smoothie. Last time I was at Costco I bought two boxes of the organic baby spinach, and if you don't use it up fairly quick it gets slimy. Green smoothies are an easy way to down A LOT of greens. ;-)

So for breakfast I had one apple cinnamon pancake. It was so good! I just made it with Krusteaz mix and added some cinnamon applesauce to the mix.

Then I drank 50oz green smoothie, had a salad with spinach, turkey, sunflower seeds and dressing for lunch. I ate 2 Daim candies; they are toffee and chocolate and yummy! For dinner I had a burrito with one Flat Out wrap, refried beans, lean hamburger and a sprinkling of cheese.

Well I'll be darned!

I got on the scale this morning and guess what!? I lost a pound! =) So I'm down to 166.5, YIPPEE!!!! Guess I haven't been doing TOO badly with the food.

I'll be back later, just wanted to come and post my wonderful surprise. =)

Monday, February 1, 2010

Hanging on by a prayer and a thread....

I swannee, (anyone else love DBF's books??) I am just exhausted! I haven't even been doing anything extra spectacular.

I forgot to weigh in this morning; my kids got me up with cries of "I'M STARVING" so I got them breakfast and then ate breakfast myself, and then realized I hadn't weighed yet. I'll shoot for tomorrow, but I'm honestly not expecting to lose. I haven't really been actively trying to lose weight this week.

You see, when I say my hormones are off, they are like, out of this world. I've struggled with post partum depression ever since my youngest was a few months old. So that's been going on 2 years now, and when my hormones get out of whack I feel like my life is a hurricane, swirling and raging in front of me. Anything and everything overwhelms me. It's all I can do to just meet the basic needs of my kids, much less shower, exercise and eat healthy myself.

I haven't gone off the deep end. I haven't had any horrible binges. But I also have not been counting calories, eating salads or low fat/calorie foods or exercising. I don't have the stamina, the will power or the energy for it. I feel like I'm just struggling to survive at this point. So I'm being kind to myself and not pushing it too far, which will undoubtedly end up in a huge binge of some sort. If not food wise, then lashing out at my kids wise.

I refuse to do that. It's not their fault that I feel this way, or that I'm overweight. So I lay low, try not to really go anywhere, keep meals simple and just hang on for dear life.

I really do have faith and hope that once I see Dr. Ray and my hormones begin evening out that I'll be able to get back into a nice, healthy routine with exercise and meals. It's just too much right now; the proverbial straw that would break this camel's back.

I really, really, really appreciate all your kind words and helpful suggestions. I don't always remember to comment that I've read them, but I read ALL of them and appreciate ALL of them.

So, I'm hanging in here, but don't expect any Herculean efforts from me for a little bit yet. ;-)