Wednesday, October 27, 2010

It went well!

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your prayers!!!

Mom had her surgery yesterday and it went very well. :-D

They were able to be more aggressive with the removal of the tumor than they originally thought they were going to be, meaning they got more out. They also said that just from the quick look they got at it that they would rate the tumor itself mid to low aggressiveness, meaning it may not grow back as quickly or aggressively.

She did very well during the surgery and her vitals were all good. She is talking and looks good.

They are doing another MRI today to make sure everything is doing well and then she will be moved out of ICU.

Thank you again, so very much, for your prayers.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Today is the day

Hi Friends,
We ended up staying here instead of going back after the weekend. I haven't had access to a computer, thus the lack of posting.

Today is the day that my mother-in-law has her brain surgery. It's at 10a.m. this morning. The tumor is quite large; taking up close to 40% of the left side of her brain.

Please pray that the doctor's hands are precise and sure, guided by God, and that they get as much of the tumor out as possible.

Thanks for your prayers for our family during this time; they mean the world to us!!!

I will be in town here through the weekend, so if I get access to a computer again I will most definitely update you on how everything went.

Lots of love to everyone!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Fessing Up Early

Hi my bloggie friends!

We are leaving tonight to spend some time with our family back home. I am so ecstatic. I can't wait to see them, hug them, cry with them, laugh with them. Mom's surgery is on Tuesday, so we're getting in some quality family time before things change anymore than they already have. I'll be gone from tonight til Sunday evening, so I'm doing my Fess' Up early.

I confess:

*It really, really bugs me when people who have "professional" blogs (designers and such) have typos in their posts! It's not just an occasional slip up; I'm thinking of one blog in particular. It is littered with typos and grammar mistakes, and it makes the author seem illiterate. I wouldn't trust her with my business, even though she does amazing work.

*I got a few more photos back from our shoot the other day. Here is a cute one.

*I am now reading The Help and I'm enjoying it a lot. Some day I'm going to do a post on all my favorite books.

*My heart broke in two this morning when Kate was asking more questions about Grandma's surgery. She was crying that they were going to have to cut her head to get the tumor out.

*My heart shattered when the first question Kate asked after we told her that Grandma had a really bad owie in her head, and sometimes owies are so bad that people die and go to heaven was... "Daddy, are you going to die and go to heaven, too?" Shattered.

*I am sending a care package in the mail to a friend of mine who had her baby 4 weeks early. A baby girl named Eloise Elizabeth. I love that name! I'm sending her some pumpkin muffins, at her request.

*Our vacuum cleaner is on it's last legs. We've had it for 7 years and I'm unreasonably excited about getting a new one.

*Yesterday 4 huge raccoons lumbered across the road in broad daylight, not 20 feet in front of the boys and I.

*I am very flattered that the famous Miz Fit takes the time out of her busy schedule to comment!! (Thank you, Carla!!)

*My rice pudding is gone. My Almond Joy habit hasn't slowed down one bit. When we get back I'm going to make a pan of homemade Almond Joy.

*Every night Josh and I watch Psych and eat Almond Joys. Anybody seen it? We watch it on Netflix and it's a huge stress reliever for us. We don't have to think about anything except enjoying the show.

*My mother-in-law's surgery is on Tuesday. Her name is Kris. All prayers, good juju and energy are appreciated. =)

*I'll be back on Monday. Have a wonderful weekend and give lots of hugs and kisses to those you love! I know I will be.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Thankful

First of all, thank you so much for your prayers and sweet words. They mean so much.

It looks like Mom will be having surgery next week, so we're planning to go down this weekend and have some family time beforehand.

I can't wait to see everyone, hug everyone, and spend quality time with them. It's really hard being far away and unable to do anything or help anyone.

Mom is an amazing woman. She has given birth to 16 children; no multiples. Her oldest two are less than a year apart; Irish Twins. Josh and his older sister are the same age for 3 days. Basically, she had a baby every 12-18 months for 16 years. She is simply amazing.

She is full of love and care.

I hear all these horrible mother-in-law stories, and I am so blessed to never have experienced any of that. I started calling her "mom" early on, during my engagement to Josh. Between her and my mom, I am truly blessed.

Things are going pretty well here. I haven't been to spinning class in a week. My boys have been sick, and then finding out about Mom's tumor, I didn't have the emotional capacity to deal with leaving Owen screaming and kicking in the daycare. I just couldn't do it. I'm hoping to possibly start back next week.

I was doing well with the no wheat, then after the cereal incident it's gone a bit downhill. We had a young couple over for dinner and I made Swiss Chicken (so easy, and so good), homemade crescent rolls (thanks for the recipe, Tereza!), homemade honey butter, corn, and salad. Oh, and a pumpkin roll for dessert. I had 2 rolls and a small piece of the pumpkin cream cheese roll.

I've been nibbling on the rolls, honey butter and pumpkin dessert ever since. And I've been paying the price. Horrible, pounding headaches and bloating. Some stomach cramps and digestion issues. Bleh.

I'll continue to do my best to steer clear of them, but I'm gonna need some help from above. I clearly can't do it on my own. I am an emotional eater. It's something I working through.

We had family pictures taken yesterday. The weather was gorgeous and I've seen a few sneak peeks, and they turned out so well! The kids cooperated far better than I expected, and the photographer was phenomenal.

I may or may not have stolen these from her FB site...

I can't wait to see all of them. We paid for the whole CD, so we'll be getting around 150 pictures. So excited.

And in light of recent circumstances, I am so thankful for these 3 little souls. And for my husband.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Speechless

On Friday night we got a phone call that will change our lives forever.

My MIL has a brain tumor. She will be having surgery soon, then chemo and radiation. If all goes well, she'll have 5-6 years of life left.

Suddenly, things just got put into perspective.

Weight loss? Sooo not important; at this stage in the game, I'm not morbidly obese. I don't have health issues because of excess fat. It's not a priority.

What IS a priority is my family. The people I love the most. So THAT is what I will focus on.

I'll keep this blog going, just because I would like to lose these last ten pounds. It'd be great if it happens, but if not, it really, really doesn't matter.

I did well with not eating wheat until last night. I ate a bowl of Quaker Oatmeal Squares cereal, thinking they were made of OATS. Until I got sick and looked at the ingredients. Wheat is the second ingredient. I ended up throwing up and have been having bowel problems ever since.

Although, I've been sick since I heard the news. But the wheat definitely had something to do with it. I remember now that I went off wheat a while back, before we moved. Then I ate one piece of garlic bread and my stomach was in agony within 5 minutes.

So I plan to steer clear of wheat for the most part.

I made rice pudding this weekend. Rice pudding is something that you either love or hate, in my opinion. I happen to love it, and since it's wheat free, it's a good option for me. I've been nibbling on it since I made it.

I've also been consuming mass quantities of Almond Joys. The coconut and almond and chocolate are a good combo and I've found that I have been eating way more than is necessary, trying to cope with the news that someone whom I hold very dear, someone I respect and love is going to be dealing with some very traumatic things very soon.

I know it's not right. Chocolate can't help anything, in the long run. And I'm so thankful that I am a Christian and can pray. Prayer is powerful.

So... I'm praying for my sweet mother in law. And I'm working to maintain a healthy lifestyle in it all. I don't want to drown myself in chocolate to numb the pain. That doesn't do anybody any favors.

My weigh in today was 139.8; half a pound down despite all the Almond Joys I ate. I know stress and cutting out wheat has something to do with it.

I hope you have a good day, and if you're a Christian I once again ask for your prayers for my wonderful mother in law. We know God can do miracles, and we know He works all things for our best.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Friday 'Fess Up

It's Friday, folks! Yippee!!

I confess:

*I still woke up with a pounding headache this morning, even after not eating wheat yesterday. I guess it must take more than one day to get out of my system.

*I am reading a tome. There's no other way to explain it. It's 661 pages long and weighs two pounds. It almost hurts my hands to hold it while I read. It's called The Name of the Wind and it's pure brilliance. MEGAN-I think you'd love it.

*The author of the book looks creepily and eerily similar to Zach Galigianakis' character in Dinner for Schmucks.
*I love fortune cookies. I don't know why, I just do. One year for my birthday I got a whole bag of them as a gift and it was one of the best presents ever.

*My 4 year old mooned all the people at McDonald's the other day. I dropped my debit card, turned around to pick it up and was met with his tiny pink hiney waving in my face. Oh, the horror and shame! I asked him why on earth he did such a thing and he said he saw someone riding on a bike and their bottom was showing. Naturally, he needed to show his, too. It was not super fun, I'll tell you that.

*I don't know what crudites are, but feel like I should. Is it just a fancy way of saying crackers and spreads?

*We are getting a family picture taken on Tuesday. I can't wait; the lady does amazing work and this will be only the 2nd time we've had pictures professionally taken. The first time doesn't even really count, since we had them done at Wal-Mart. Don't judge.

*I still need to find a shirt for said family portrait.

*Josh shaved his head again last night and I love the way it feels. Even if it does make him look like a Skinhead. He also gave both boys haircuts. That man rocks my socks.

*I am totally breaking out the Christmas music soon. Just have to go through my CD's and find them all.

*I need to buy more candles, as mine are almost burned out now.

I was successful in cutting out wheat yesterday, even when I made some delicious chicken enchiladas for my family. I didn't eat them. Here is a run down of my food for yesterday:

~cup of chai with splash of cream
~1 slice of turkey breast lunch meat with 2 slices cheddar cheese
~tuna fish with mayo, spicy mustard, 1/2 an apple, pickle and seasoning eaten with 8 mini sweet peppers
~bowl of oatmeal made with almond milk, a scoop of protein powder, 2T flax seed, 1T organic peanut butter and 1T honey
~cup of chai with splash of cream

Amazingly, that food was almost exactly the amount of calories The Daily Plate says I need to eat to lose 2 pounds a week. It seems like hardly any food; actually it is. The protein powder and flax seed were over 200 calories alone.

Today I'm focusing on staying within my calories, not eating wheat and drinking at least 75oz of water.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Giving up the Gold Medal

Flour, that is.


I've been doing some thinking and I think I have a wheat allergy.

I baked Challah bread yesterday and had some, not a whole lot. Just one piece. But I also had half a cheese bagel and a piece of french toast.

The end result was NOT pretty.

My ears ached, my neck/throat was sore and itchy, I turned into the meaner sister of the Wicked Witch of the West, I was lethargic/exhausted. Basically, I turned into a train wreck. And I do have to admit, that was a LOT of wheat for one day.

So, I'm going to try to cut out wheat. EEK! I love my carbs, so very dearly. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but if it helps me be more even keeled, then it's worth it.

I really need to start journaling my food, or inputting it online. Yesterday I think the only "protein" I had was the cheese in my bagel and the chicken in my Chinese dinner. Really not so good. At all.

Today I had some turkey breast and cheese for breakfast. I know, it's weird. And I know I should probably think about cutting out dairy too, but I'm starting with wheat. I also had a cup of chai tea with a bit of half and half. It was super delicious, just fyi, and only 90 calories. Probably an even 100 with the splash of cream.

So anyway, that's the biggest thing going on around here. No wheat. Last night I was mourning and lamenting the fact that at Thanksgiving I wouldn't be able to eat rolls or pie or stuffing. It's painful to think about! Don't laugh at me!! ;-)

I'm going to try to be really strict for 7 days, cutting out all wheat and see if I notice a difference. I'll also be hitting up Tereza's website for some good gluten free recipes. :-D

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Not giving up

I've been really tempted to shut this blog down in the last few days. I've been overwhelmed and stressed and my weight has been the last thing on my mind.

I had a really bad day yesterday, eating wise. I made Megan's shortbread recipe. It basically rocks, just like she said. I knew I was in trouble with it, so I sent 3/4 of it to work with my beloved husband. I stashed the rest in the freezer.

Now, let me take a moment to tell you all that I've been a baking fiend. It's what I do. I bake. To the extent that I get tired of all the actual baked goods. I know, it's preposterous. But it is what it is. So, currently, my freezer is full of cinnamon crisp cookies, pumpkin muffins, and shortbread. Maybe some other stuff, but I can't really remember to tell you the truth.

Anyway, yesterday was a real tough day. I haven't been sleeping well. AT ALL. And when mama don't get her sleep, the whole dang world starts to fall apart. Well, at least my housework and mothering skills do. So I was really struggling all day. Plus, I knew that Josh wasn't going to be home to help me as he was in another state. He was within driving distance, but as things have a tendency to do, things didn't go as planned so he didn't get home til late, instead of for dinner like we had planned.

You're welcome for that run on sentence. **Deep breath**

Anyway, to make a long story short, I basically lost my marbles for the majority of the day and ate my weight in shortbread to make up for it. Those little sticks of shortbread are rich; they are basically pure butter and sugar. And I ate 5 or 6 of them. The thing is, I didn't even really want anymore. I was satisfied after just one. Ok, two, but really after those two, I was done. Except, I just kept putting more in my mouth.

I was trying to fill the void, trying to get a handle on my feelings of being overwhelmed and unsettled. And you know what? Food sure as HECK didn't help those feelings. Instead I started feeling sick, physically. Then I felt sick, mentally. I mean, that's just not right. Then I started getting down on myself and feeling like Hilda the Hippo. And from there, it just went from bad to worse.

I had some greasy tortilla chips with cream cheese and salsa. Again, I DIDN'T EVEN WANT IT. I just wanted to focus on something other than my feelings and the reality that my house was a contender for Clean Sweep, my husband whom I adore so much wasn't going to be home, and I still had to come up with something for dinner that the kids would eat. They ended up eating cereal. Mom of the Year, right here.

Anyway, this morning I stepped on the scale. I hadn't weighed yesterday because I just forgot. I rarely weigh anymore. But today I wanted to know the damage. I weighed in at 140.4 to my surprise and shock. Although, I think it takes 2 days sometimes for the effects of eating crap to show on the scale. So maybe the scale will say more tomorrow.

But you know what? I don't care what the scale says tomorrow. I really don't. I will not give up. Clearly there is still work to be done. If not in order to get the scale to move 10 pounds down, then in my relationship with food as a comfort. Food can not comfort me. It can't make things better. It can't change anything.

I tend to get overwhelmed really quick and then turn into an ostrich with my head in the sand. I just can't DEAL. So I bury my emotions and feelings with food, or by getting lost in a book. But that doesn't help anyone. Least of all, me.

So. I pledge to keep this blog going. I pledge to keep walking on this journey of health, and learn to resolve my problems without the aid of food. Otherwise I'll just end up as a really fat, really emotionally unstable person. And that's no good. For anyone.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Slowing Down

I think this blog will be slowing down; as in, I won't be posting as often here. I mean, really. How often do you want to hear that spinning class was so brutal, about the climb, about the pool of sweat? Yeah, that's what I thought.

It's not very interesting now that I'm basically done with my weight loss journey. I mean, I do still have ten pounds to go, but I don't care that much whether or not they come off.

And the truth is, I'm really bad at dieting. I'm doing fairly well with the exercise, but when it comes to dieting... I'm pretty much an epic fail.

Instead, I'll be posting a lot more interesting, funny, yummy things at my new blog.

Deliciously Disheveled

It's my new endeavor and I'm way excited about it.

I'll most likely post here once a week or so but if you'd like, feel free to come on over to my Disheveled life and follow me there.

Friday, October 8, 2010

New Blog

I started a new blog... inspired by my friend Jen. ;-)

The new one is going to be a place where I can post pretty pictures, write funny stories that happen to me, pour out my heart, and maybe post recipes.

Feel free to hop on over and check it out. :0)

Deliciously Disheveled

Friday 'Fess Up

I enjoyed my confessions last Friday, so I'm thinking I may keep it going. For now, at least.

I confess:

Remember when I was on HCG and gained almost a pound inexplicably? Well, the next week it suddenly hit me what had happened. Josh had given me a massage. With massage OIL. Um, yeah. I am super bright. Like a 40 watt bulb. :-P

I am making cinnamon rolls today for breakfast tomorrow. I keep coming across them and can't get them out of my head. I'm a sucker like that.

I did not go to spinning today. I debated for a long time whether or not I should, since Kate is home from school. She isn't enrolled in the daycare at the gym, and I could have gotten her a day pass. But my house needs some scrubbing and we have a playdate at noon, so I skipped spinning.

I eat a lot of things for the texture rather than the actual taste.

I love Vanilla Nut and Peppermint Mocha creamer.

Fall is my absolute most favorite time of year. Hands down.

I think I'm going to have to start logging my calories in The Daily Plate if I want to lose these last 10 pounds. I'm just maintaining, which is much better than gaining, but I've got 10 pounds to go. Hmph.

I love to read. I am at the end of almost all the series I've started, and the other books I have reserved on the waiting list at the library will take approximately 4 years to get to me since everyone else is also waiting to read them. (The Help, The Elegance of the Hedgehog, the newest Hannah Swenson and Sarah Booth Delaney books, a couple of Stephanie Plum novels, etc...)

I made pumpkin pancakes this morning and they were super delicious. I made them with half whole wheat flour and they are actually pretty clean. Ish. Only 1T of brown sugar and otherwise it's just spices and pumpkin.

We've been watching Christmas movies for over a month. I haven't broken out the Christmas music yet, but we're definitely gearing up. I don't love Halloween. I do love Thanksgiving and Christmas. Just fyi.

I love the happy face mug my friend gave me. I alternate between it, a cheery striped Christmas one, and my big ol' travel cup.

My coffee tastes plasticky this morning. Gross.

I think my head has lost weight. My glasses suddenly are way too big and will NOT stay up on my nose. I'm constantly looking over them as they perch on the end of my nose and I remind myself of Goldilocks' granny.

I think Dawne SHOULD create some type of therapy for people who have lost weight, cuz it's definitely needed. Learning to adjust to new body images and the psychological growth that needs to happen and what not.

I am so, so, so happy that we have no plans for tomorrow or Sunday, besides going to church. I have a couple of projects for my Joshie to do and I plan to have the fire going all weekend and putter around the house like the good homebody I am.

Have a really wonderful weekend, everyone!!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Muffin Top--the good kind =)

Well, I made the muffins yesterday and they turned out really super yummy. You either get about a bazillion normal size muffins or 24 gigantic muffins. I went the gigantic route, as I got tired of baking them. ;-)

The dough is very, very stiff and sticky so it's sort of hard to get the batter into the muffin wrappers. However, they really don't rise that much at all, so you can fill them pretty darn full. They also come out exactly the way they went in, so if you're looking for pretty muffins you'll have to do some work.

Here is the original link to credit the person who came up with it. =)

http://www.ourbestbites.com/2009/09/easy-pumpkin-chocolate-chip-muffins.html

The recipe was posted last year, so I'm not sure if there is still a pumpkin shortage this year, although in my experience, there is. I had to go to 3 different stores before I found a can and then they were charging $4 bucks for it. I did find it at Costco, in the 3 pack (of 30oz cans) so I grabbed it then.

Anyway, here they are after I baked them:


As I mentioned, I made them with white chocolate chips. Next time I will definitely use milk chocolate (my fave) or you could use semi-sweet, too. The white chocolate make them a bit on the sweet side, and since they are already large you can't really get through a whole one. Or, if you do, you get a stomach ache. Don't ask me how I know this.

Anyway, I give it two thumbs up. It's easy and yummy, and if you don't add the chocolate chips and don't make gargantuan muffins, relatively low in calories, too.

How's that for a weight-loss blog post. ;-)

Moving on to something a little more in-line with losing weight... body image.

Earlier this week I was looking at myself in a full length mirror and I didn't look (to myself) one iota different than when I was a size 14. I looked just as fat. Regardless of the fact that I was wearing my 5/6 jeans, what I saw in the mirror was a bloated, fat version of me.

I know I'm not the same size. When I hold up my jeans they look so small and I can't understand how they fit me. I am not that small, am I?

It was weird, because I totally realize I am not still a size 14. I have gotten smaller. But it's like I have body dysmorphia but I don't because sometimes I can see in the mirror that my body is smaller.

I don't know if I even really have a point with this, except that it was weird and even as I looked at myself I wondered how I could look so large when I have lost some weight.

I wonder when the endorphins from exercise are supposed to kick in? I feel like I could use a big ol' dose right about now. ;-) And I know that if I continue with the spinning I will get toned and in better shape. So I'm not going to stop, but I wish my brain would catch up with the fact that I'm exercising and (besides the pumpkin muffins) trying to eat healthier and reward me with a flood of serotonin. :-D

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday. Josh has been gone 2 days this week; as in, we haven't seen him since Monday night. Like, at all. =( He'll be home tonight and then tomorrow he gets to come home early as we have an open house goal setting meeting type thing for Kate in the late afternoon. I am so ready for the weekend!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Weight Watcher Pumpkin Muffin Recipe

Hi guys. =)

I am DONE with my spinning class for the day, thank the good Lord. It was hard, but not as hard as Monday. I still sweated a good amount; the room was really humid today.

My "sit bones" for lack of a better term, are seriously bruised. My friend and I both felt like we were sitting on hot pokers during class. Hopefully they toughen up soon; it makes the class a lot harder when your pelvis is on fire!

I ran across this recipe that is SO easy. SO not clean, but if you're doing WW, each muffin is only 1 point. I thought I'd pass it on; I'm trying it out this afternoon and I'll let you know what I think of them.

You take 2 boxes of spice cake and a 30oz can of pumpkin. Mix it together and bake for 22-25 minutes at 350. Voila, you're done! I'm going to add some white chocolate chips, which negates the 1 WW pt, but since I'm not doing WW, I don't really care. :-P

I made my peanut butter/banana/oatmeal concoction this morning. I didn't get nauseated, but I felt weak. That might have just been due to my mammoth workout on Monday, though. I plan to keep eating it because it's DELICIOUS and packed with protein and complex carbs.

I'm off to put my boys down for naps and whip up the muffins.

Happy Hump Day!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Rest Day

Howdy, Folks!

Today is a day off from exercise, and I couldn't be more excited about it. :-D I feel like I worked really, really hard in my class yesterday. Apparently the instructor came to stand in front of my bike several times to make sure I was ok, but I was so in my zone with my eyes closed that I didn't even realize he was standing there! He often walks around the class, encouraging people individually, but I don't know how I didn't notice him standing right in front of me! LOL

Today I had a super yummy breakfast; I saw it on a fellow blogger's site and actually, have seen it several places. I made some oatmeal with almond milk, then mixed in organic, sugar-free peanut butter, a bit of honey and cut up banana. SO GOOD. I think I'll try to eat it tomorrow before my workout and see if it helps with the nausea. I still haven't found exactly the right meal to eat before I work out. I either get really weak and lethargic or really nauseated. We'll see how this breakfast works.

Otherwise I can make a protein shake with my chocolate protein powder, almond milk, banana and peanut butter or almonds or walnuts.

I'm doing pretty well. It helps so much to have my hormones in balance. I just can't even express it. It's the difference between heaven and hell, for lack of a better way to explain it.

I've also been walking Kate to and from the bus stop in the morning and afternoon. She decided she really wanted to ride the bus, and it's actually more convenient for me, too. I was very leery at first, what with the sex offender in the neighborhood and all. But there are around 15 kiddos at her bus stop and usually 3 or 4 moms. That's really nice, because M,W,F I usually drop her off around 9:05 and head to my spin class at the gym. The bus doesn't come til 9:12, so it's really nice there are other adults there until all the kiddos get on the bus.

Tuesdays and Thursday mornings the boys and I stay with her til she boards the big yellow school bus. =) And in the afternoons we head on over and pick her up. It's not very far; maybe 3 blocks, but it's just really nice to head out into the fresh air for a brisk walk. I think we'll do it most days, unless it is dumping buckets of rain.

I've really fallen off the Clean Eating bandwagon this past 10 days or so. I need to read the book again so I can comprehend it, but at the moment I just don't have the gumption to do so. I've been doing fairly well with cooking meals that include whole foods and not a lot of processed stuff, but definitely don't have the 6 small meals a day down.

I hope you're having a nice Tuesday!

Monday, October 4, 2010

The Climb and Size Matters. Maybe.

Hello All,
Sorry I went MIA there for a few days.

Life intervened. ;-) In the past 2 weeks I've had 3 separate crisis type situations in my family. At one point, when the 3rd thing happened, I just started crying and sobbing that it was "too much stress". Not so fun.

But now things seem to be getting better. My SIL and her sweet, sweet baby are doing better. I got to go down and see them and snuggle Miss Macy and chat with Jen and it was just what the doctor ordered. I also got some time in with my sisters, who I don't get to see nearly as often now that we've moved.

I also got my new batch of hormone drops from Dr. Ray, and I have noticed a HUGE improvement. So things are on the upswing. =)

I weighed in at 140.4 this morning, and I am happy with that. I had this irrational fear that since I haven't been weighing every day that I'd step on and see I'd gained 3 or 4 pounds. But I actually lost a bit since last Monday. So that's nice.

While visiting my family I stopped at the mall there, at the one place I've found jeans that fit me perfectly. They have no return policy, so as long as you have the receipt and the clothes aren't demolished, they'll take them back. Even if you washed and worn them for weeks. Which I had. So I took back a long jean skirt, size 11/12, a long jean skirt size 9/10 and a pair of pants size 9/10 that I had been wearing on a regular basis.

I was nervous that the size 7/8 pants wouldn't fit, as I'd tried on a pair of size 8 Mossimo brand jeans and they were quite snug. HOWEVER. I tried on the 7/8's and they were too big! Baggy in the rear/thighs. :-O My rear and thighs are definitely the biggest part of my body. So I tried on the size 5/6 pants. THEY FIT. I was and still am in shock.

I'm convinced this particular store is just very generous with their sizing, as I definitely do not fit into a size 6 anywhere else, much less a 5. But it was still fun to fit into something with such a small number on the tag! ;-)

Now, onto the Climb. Well, let me back up a bit. Let's discuss Owen.

The boy is crazy in the head. He abhors the gym. He hates it. He despises it. He loathes it. I have no idea why! It's a kid's dream world in the gym daycare! Movies, Wii, arcade type games, ball pits, McDonald playplace type structures, arts and crafts, etc... But yet, he acts like I'm throwing him into a dungeon when we go.

And it starts first thing in the morning. He wakes up asking if we have to go to the gym. And when the answer is yes, his whole morning is ruined and my whole morning gets 100x harder. He won't eat, he won't get dressed, he won't go to the bathroom, he won't brush his teeth. Nothing. Because he doesn't want to go.

I am a little unsure what to do about this. He screams and cries and I have to peel him off of me. He is frantically trying to put his shoes back on while I take his coat off, or put his coat on while I take his shoes off. He sticks to my leg like white on rice. USUALLY he screams for a minute or two after I leave and then he's okay. But today he screamed for 30 minutes. =(

I really don't know what to do! He acted like this when we first moved here and started going there, and it was one of the factors that made me stop going. I feel bad for him! I know he is in good hands, and he is only in there 1.5 hours max. But still, it feels like I'm neglecting him or something.

So, any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated! I don't want to stop working out, but I also don't want to make Owen insecure and feeling abandoned 3 times a week.

Anyhoo, on to The Climb.

Today's spin class was brutal. Incredibly brutal and hard. More than one of us had to slow down lest we puke. Me included. Jee, the teacher, is amazing. He really knows how to lead a hard, intense class yet make us all push ourselves harder and more intensely than we think is possible. He involves everyone. He gives us pep talks. He'll walk around the room and encourage people individually. He has fantastic music. I'm very glad he is the instructor here.

But. He loves climbs. In spinning, this means turning up the resistance on the bike to think-you'll-pass-out levels. Today we did a 12% and 13% incline. That doesn't sound like much, but believe me. It is. Probably Lance Armstrong and other cyclists encounter it during the Tour de France. I don't know for sure, but probably. ;-)

The climbs last a long time. Steadily climbing/increasing resistance for up to 20 minutes without a break. And we do this 4 or 5 times per class, which is an hour long. Today we started right out with a hard climb. We were sweating and exhausted and it had only been 18 minutes. I honestly don't know how I finished the class, but I know I had to take 5 minutes off and pedal slowly lest I lose my breakfast in front of everyone.

At the end of class Jee actually had to tell us all to wipe our bikes, but not worry about the floor. Everyone had a puddle of sweat under the bikes on the floor. Not a few drips, but a full on puddle. Sweat was dripping/running off of me like I was standing in a sprinkler. This is probably a good, healthy thing, but man. I felt like I was going to pass out and die.

It was by far the hardest workout I have ever done in my entire life. It feels good, but it felt even better to be done with it. :-D

Anyway, I'd encourage you to try a spinning class. It really is a full body workout and if you have a good instructor it's totally worth taking the time to do it. I've realized that when I went to the gym on my own I pushed myself maybe 60% of what I was capable of. Jee makes us push ourselves 100%. And it will bring results. I know it will. Cuz if it doesn't I'm going to have to stop and just sit on my couch and drink coffee for an hour every morning. ;-) Just kidding. Sort of.

Well, this has become quite the mammoth post. I'll wrap it up for now. I hope you all had a great weekend and are having success in your healthy living and weight loss journeys!