Friday, April 26, 2013


Happy Friday, everyone!  I gotta say, I'm glad it's here.  It's sunny and I am babysitting two of my nieces.  I have big plans to sit in the yard ALL DAY LONG. ;-)

So, Luna asked me a good question regarding my last post.  Why do I need a "program"?  Why not just good old fashioned exercise and healthy eating/calorie counting using an app like MyFitnessPal?

That, my friends, is a great question.  One I don't really have an answer to, other than this: I'm impatient.  I want results, and I want them now. I've done HCG and lost 40 pounds on it, and was able to maintain the weight loss.  I'm looking at a solid 50-60 pounds that I need to lose, and I don't want it to take six months or a year.  I want to be significantly smaller by July/August.

Nicole asked how the girls in the pictures lost the weight, and the answer is... I have no clue! :-P  I just googled "before/after weight loss pictures" and that's what came up.  Although, apparently the first girl is in Luna's MyFitnessPal group and she lost it through exercise and diet.  I *know* that would work; to exercise and count calories.  But for me, I guess I just don't feel like I have the time or energy it takes. It's so much easier for me to just take my HCG drops and eat the restricted diet.  Once the weight comes off, then I plan to begin to exercise so that I can tone up and be fit.  Thin does NOT equal fit.

I got a text from my friend saying the drops were in and I can't even begin to tell you the amount of relief I felt.  I rushed down immediately and got them.  I plan to binge this weekend, and start low cal on Monday.  I am so ready to get this show on the road. 

MaryBeth-Are you still taking the saffron pills?  How is that working out?  I've been praying for your mom (and YOU!!)

I'm debating doing before and after pictures of myself.  Honestly and truly... I cringe when I see pictures of myself.  I just can't fathom that I'm really THAT big.  Like, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???  Who is that bloated person in the mirror??  Where did that double chin come from?  When did I turn into the person who wears huge, baggy clothes in an effort to cover up the rolls?

I can't wait to "find" myself again, see myself in the mirror, and shed these pounds!  I'm excited to not have to wear sweaters/cardigans at all times to somewhat hide my gigantic arms. 

So, here's to HCG Take Two! :-P

(Side note: We strongly considered the name Hope when we were trying to name Nora.  But we have a cousin with that name, and I have a "thing" about giving my kids their own names.  I do still love it, though.)

Thank you all again for the comments! I love reading them and getting feedback.  What do you think? Should I post hideously unflattering pictures of myself on the world wide web???

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Set Back :(

So, I was all amped up to get this thing done, and then... this happened.

My supplier didn't have more HCG drops.  I had a bottle from before that I was using, and when I went to get more... it was all gone. :(  She has ordered more, but doesn't know when it will arrive.

So the past few days I've kind of been floundering.  Trying to figure out what to do.  Should I wait for the drops and then re-do my binge days and start all over?  Should I chuck the HCG and do something else? Weight Watchers? ViSalus? Eat Stop Eat? (I still have to research that one... haven't had time to do it yet.)

And the answer is... I don't know.  I feel overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time.  I just want the magic weight loss fairy to wave her wand over me and make the weight Poof Gone.  So I can get on with my life.  Losing weight is hard.  Really hard.

Nora is down to nursing only in the morning and at night, and as sad as it is for me, I'm not waging any battles to save my milk.  She has moved on, and the morning/night nursing are more for me than her.  So I'm not worried about my milk drying up because of calorie restriction.

I know that part of the problem/stress that I'm experiencing is due to lack of sleep.  That takes a toll on me faster than anything else.  I was hoping that the more formula Nora had, the better she'd sleep, but so far that hasn't happened.  So anyway, my point is that I think it FEELS more daunting than it actually needs to be. 

If feels like I am having to scale Mt. Everest, but without any mountain climbing gear or oxygen. 
I know I'm being overly dramatic, but that's just how it seems.

So, the short story is... I haven't lost weight.  I don't have a firm plan on how to lose the weight.  But I know this...


Because, look.  It can be done.
All Images found via Google

That last one really resonates with me, as it's pretty dang close to what I weigh now, and what I'd like to weigh.  Yikes.  Actually, if I get down to 130, I'd be real real happy.

So anyway, I'm gonna do it.  I am.  I just don't know exactly how yet.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

I'm gonna rock this.

Hey guys!
Today is my last binge day.  I've kind of failed miserably at binging this time, though through no fault of my own.  I've had doughnuts, danishes, burgers and fries and zucchini bread. Oh! And a Reese's PB Cup blizzard. With extra PB Cup.  But I just haven't felt really hungry or motivated to make/buy really fattening stuff.

Nora is officially weaned. Insert sad, crying face.  Today she refused me for the first time ever.  I had a brief moment of hysteria, of absolute despair and sadness.  And then I got a grip and realized I would way rather HER end it, than me force her to stop so I can lose weight.  Ten and a half months.  That's no small thing.  I will be thankful for every single second of it, and I will still cuddle the heck out of her while I give her a bottle. ;-)

So.  Now it's business time.  HCG, here I come.  I've been taking my drops and I'll weigh in tomorrow.  I am so desperately ready to lose weight.  I don't think I am going to weigh every day.  I think just twice a week.  That way, if there's a day where I'm only down 0.2 or whatever, it won't kill my resolve.

I do think I will have to do a modified version, in order to be able to last as long as I'm going to need.  If you only take the drops 6 days a week, you can go continuously without having to stop after 21 days.  For me, it's better to just "get 'er done".  BUT in order to stay on the diet that long, I'm going to have to make some concessions, which I understand may slow things down a bit.  I will most likely be using rotisserie chicken, as I can't even handle the thought of cooked chicken.  I will be using ground turkey and extra lean ground beef.  And I will be allowing myself one cup of coffee a day, with creamer. 

I am really super excited to see the scale start going down.  I need to focus on my mantra: Slow and Steady Wins the Race.  Just keep at it, even when it feels impossible.  Keep going, even if it comes off slower than I'd like.  Take one day at a time and make it count.

I've read several places about this concoction that supposedly helps you burn fat.  You drink it twice a day, once in the morning and once at night.  I may try it.  It's just a cup of water, 2t honey and 2t cinnamon mixed together.  We shall see.

I also am going to go through my Fitness board on Pinterest and find some exercises that I can start doing now, particularly ones to tone my arms.  As the weather gets nicer, I also aim to take more walks.

I can do this.  I have to keep visualizing myself in a slim, healthy body.  No more rolls of backfat.  No more (or at least considerably shrunken) muffin top.  No more fiddling with my clothes ALL DAY LONG because they are getting stuck on my rolls, caught between my rolls, or accentuating my rolls. 

We are hoping to go to Cancun next year for our 10 year anniversary and dang it, I WILL LOOK GOOD.  I will enjoy myself on that trip to the full extent, and not be fat.  So shall it be written, so shall it be done. ;-)

Thanks for all your encouragement so far, and along the way.  I need your help to stay motivated! If I start whining about how slow it's going, or whatever, give me a swift kick in the rear and remind me that it's better to be losing than staying fat!

Tomorrow it starts.  Bring.  It.  On. 

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Back to the Beginning

Hey Friends!

I love that quote. It's how I feel.  When I lost weight the first time, I never ever thought I'd have to do it again.  Then I got pregnant with Nora, and still thought it wouldn't be a problem, as I started my pregnancy at the lowest weight out of my 4 kiddos.  Then I gained the most.  And here I am, weighing the most ever, with the most to lose.

I tried Medifast.  The food was gross to me, and I don't want to eat that much soy.  I've tried to just eat healthier in general.  No dice.

So, I feel like I'm going back to basics. Back to what I *know* works. Yep.  HCG.

Nora is weaning herself.  Summer is getting closer.  I am sick and tired, I mean BEYOND sick and tired of looking like this.  I had peace and was content for a while.  But I feel like it's time to move on.  Time to change.

Mostly, because I saw a picture of myself and yikes!!!  Imagine an overweight oompa loompa (maybe not as orange).  That's me.

So the time has come for change.  I plan to do the binge part this weekend, and then start low cal on Monday.

Hee Hee!! :-D

So, that's my plan.  I'm fairly desperate, so I hope it will work.  Nora is not currently sleeping.  Like, at all.  BUT I'm thinking maybe if I don't have to think about food, and just eat the few things I'm allowed, then maaaaaayyyybeeee it won't be so stressful.  Maybe?

Anyway.  That's the plan for now.   Fingers crossed!!

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Well, now what?

So I didn't even last half a day on Medifast.  I wish I was kidding.

It's made with soy lecithin as it's main source of protein, and I hate the taste of it, and also don't feel it's very healthy.  I couldn't choke down the food, so there was no way I'd be able to stick to it.  Sad day.  :(

So I packed it all up and sent it back.  Hopefully we'll be getting our refund soon.

But... now what!?!?  I really don't think I can do HCG at this point; I think probably because I have SO MUCH to lose that it'll require several months of HCG and I don't think I can last that long.

For now I've decided to eat healthy.  I went shopping today and instead of buying cookies/crackers/chocolate I bought fruits/veggies and nuts.  I also bought salad makings, with feta cheese, craisins, rotisserie chicken, etc... because I really like it, so I'll eat it.

I also have been talking with one of my sisters-in-law about doing a spinning class with her.  That is something that I *can* do, and enjoy.  I need to check into a gym membership and see what their spinning schedule is like.  I'm actually pretty excited about it, so that's good.

I don't run, but I thought this was funny.  And if I *DID* run, this would be true.

Nora is 10 months old today!! 


Sorry the pictures are blurry.  It was either blurry or small. :-/

Hope you all are well.

MB-How is your mom? I owe you an email...

Monday, April 8, 2013

Day One

So, I started today. 

I had the Maple Brown Sugar Oatmeal for breakfast.  It was gross. :-(  They add soy protein to it, and I don't like the taste of it.  I could get it down, but I definitely won't be ordering more of it.

Later I had a carmel nut bar, and THAT was good. ;-D

I weighed this morning and am using it as my starting weight, despite the fact that I hadn't nursed.  I figure it'll just make the weight loss more dramatic, lol.  I would like to lose 50 pounds; that'll put me at 10 pounds less than where I was when I got pregnant with Nora.

I am so looking forward to shedding these pounds.  It kind of feels like an uphill, insurmountable battle.  Like, why should I even start because it's soooo far to go and so much work.  BUT. It *is* worth it.  And it will be a good lesson in perseverance and endurance.

Lately I've been thinking so much about how, for me anyway, it's a spiritual battle too.  I turn to food instead of turning to God.  So I'm going to really be awake and vigilant to look out for those situations.  And go to Him instead of to my chocolate bin.

Nora still doesn't sleep through the night; the first of my four kiddos that hasn't slept through the night by 4 months.  She is up multiple times, for no apparent reason.  So I'm extremely sleep deprived overall.  My brain doesn't function very well.  Or, at all. ;-)

I've also decided to make two big changes for my family and the food I fix for them.

1) I will start buying organic, grass fed, hormone free chicken and beef.
2) I will start buying organic fruit.

Both of these things are pretty expensive, but it's worth it to me.  I want to try to find some orchards and berry fields this summer that are pesticide free so I can stock up and freeze some berries and apples.  We eat a LOT of berries and apples, so it's important to me that they not be full of pesticides and other junk.

I've also started trying to avoid High Fructose Corn Syrup at all costs, thanks to some research done by my bestie Jen.  That stuff is POISON.  And it's in EVERYTHING.  Pretzels? Yep.  Crackers? Yep.  All beef kosher hot dogs? Yep.  Jellies, syrups, spreads? Yep.  Cereal? Yep.  Seriously, if you start looking, it is INSANE how many products it is in.

I don't know if any of you have been following the Monsanto issues in the news?  Here is a good, concise article I found:

"Ninety percent or more of all US-grown corn, soybeans, canola, and sugar beets are genetically modified versions, which means that virtually all processed food items contain at least one or more genetically modified ingredients."  :-O

Anyway, I'm on a quest.  A quest for better health and nutrition for myself and my family. I feel like there is SO MUCH information to wade through, but once I've figured it out, it will get easier.  I hope.

Happy Monday!

Sunday, April 7, 2013


Hi Folks!
Long time, no update.  Again.  :-/

Tomorrow I start Medifast/Take Shape for Life.  It's basically a meal replacement system, with the food delivered to your door.  It was completely overwhelming and stressful for me at first, because it's pretty expensive.  Really expensive, actually.  I was afraid I wouldn't like the food, wouldn't stick to the plan and then would have wasted our hard earned, precious pennies.

But the food actually look really good!  I can tailor it to fit my nursing mother needs, as well.  Basically I'll eat 2 "Lean and Green" meals a day; lean protein and non-starchy vegetables, and then I'll also have 5 of the Medifast "meals".  I put it in quotes because they are really snacks.  Shakes, bars, cookies, pretzels, oatmeal, etc...

I'm hoping it works.  I seem to have tipped over the edge; meaning I have gained weight and lost some of that peace I had experienced.  I think it has to do with the fact that my fat clothes don't fit. :-O

I am so ready to shed these pounds. It's been almost 18 months (from pregnancy to now) and I am ready to be thin and healthy again.  Not feel so heavy.  Not be so uncomfortable all the time, rearranging my clothes as best I can to hide my rolls, my back fat, etc...

Nora is still going strong with the nursing; it's nothing short of a miracle.  But I am ready to discipline myself and start actively working on losing weight and being healthy.  I don't want to be fat and uncomfortable come summer time.

My sister works with someone who is on the same program, and she has lost 33 pounds in 3 months.  I think I need to lose around 50 pounds; I haven't stepped on the scale in a while.  Tomorrow I weigh in, take measurements and before pictures.  I would LOVE to be done with this weight loss in the next 4-5 months.  Even if I'm not back to pre-pregnancy weight, at least I'll be significantly smaller come June/July/August.

Anyway, that's what's up with me.  Hope you all are doing well!