My supplier didn't have more HCG drops. I had a bottle from before that I was using, and when I went to get more... it was all gone. :( She has ordered more, but doesn't know when it will arrive.
So the past few days I've kind of been floundering. Trying to figure out what to do. Should I wait for the drops and then re-do my binge days and start all over? Should I chuck the HCG and do something else? Weight Watchers? ViSalus? Eat Stop Eat? (I still have to research that one... haven't had time to do it yet.)
And the answer is... I don't know. I feel overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. I just want the magic weight loss fairy to wave her wand over me and make the weight Poof Gone. So I can get on with my life. Losing weight is hard. Really hard.
Nora is down to nursing only in the morning and at night, and as sad as it is for me, I'm not waging any battles to save my milk. She has moved on, and the morning/night nursing are more for me than her. So I'm not worried about my milk drying up because of calorie restriction.
I know that part of the problem/stress that I'm experiencing is due to lack of sleep. That takes a toll on me faster than anything else. I was hoping that the more formula Nora had, the better she'd sleep, but so far that hasn't happened. So anyway, my point is that I think it FEELS more daunting than it actually needs to be.
If feels like I am having to scale Mt. Everest, but without any mountain climbing gear or oxygen.
I know I'm being overly dramatic, but that's just how it seems.
So, the short story is... I haven't lost weight. I don't have a firm plan on how to lose the weight. But I know this...
I. MUST. LOSE. THE. WEIGHT.
Because, look. It can be done.
|All Images found via Google|
So anyway, I'm gonna do it. I am. I just don't know exactly how yet.