Friday, February 26, 2010

Perfect 10 Challenge Update


I am so, so, so, so upset right now. I weighed in this morning at 167. Up a freaking pound. I am so on the verge of a mental breakdown. I mean, what is the POINT of eating freaking chicken and vegetables for breakfast, lunch and dinner if my body isn't going to lose weight? WHAT IS THE POINT, I ASK???? And yes, I know it's healthy and blah, blah, blah but dang. I feel like I've been pushing myself, and if slipping up and eating 2 cookies in a week is going to make me gain a pound... maybe the Skinny Turtle is going to be roadkill.

I know this is so negative, and I apologize. It's just that people all around me, in real life and in blogland, are losing weight. Just yesterday ALONE I talked to 2 girls I know who have lost 12 and 17.5 pounds respectively in the last 5 weeks. How? BY CUTTING OUT CARBS. Well, I've done that AND cut out dairy and where has it gotten me? UP a pound.

I am seriously crying right now. Like, real tears, streaming down my face. I don't have the energy for this. I try so hard, I try to make it fit into my day, I make separate meals for myself, I eat chicken over and over and over for nothing???? Not even a tiny loss?

And what is UP with me weighing on a Tuesday and seeing a low number, then weighing on Friday and that number has been obliterated? This has happened to me at least 3 times now. It sucks. It really, really sucks.

I just don't know what to do. I'm really at a loss. I'm exercising and I've cut out 95% of ALL grains--oatmeal, wheat, rice, EVERYING-- and dairy. My body is stupid and it sucks and I really resent it right now.

I haven't been sneaking things here and there. At most I have 2-3 things that may contain dairy or grains a week. A WEEK. I feel like I've been in bootcamp, training and disciplining myself and have nothing to show for it.

I'm very sad. I'm very frustrated. I'm very mad. I feel like a complete, total and utter failure. I mean, I must be a failure if everyone else can cut out carbs and lose such huge amounts of weight, right?

To make it all worse I haven't lost ONE SINGLE POUND this entire month. Not one. And what's worse, I GAINED.

I feel sick. Emotionally drained and almost betrayed. WHY won't my body let these extra pounds go? I don't need them. I'm not starving myself. I'm eating healthy foods. I'm exercising. I don't get it. I've even had to stop reading blogs. I can't bear the fact that everyone around me is losing. It makes me want to scream and cry and shout profanities.

After I weighed I got really pissed off. I went to try to do my Jillian workout and the dang DVD doesn't work. I tried it 3 times and it won't read. So I did what any lunatic would do. I started deep cleaning my kitchen. I pulled out my stove and scrubbed the floor, the walls, the stove. I pulled out my refrigerator and did the same thing. I scrubbed dishes. I swept the floor. And I cried.

Seriously, you guys, I need help. ANY ideas, ANY suggestions will help. I don't need a bunch of comfort; I know there is nothing you guys can do. I know I've done my best. I just don't know what to do now. It's so hard to stay motivated and keep pushing myself to exercise (which I hate) to eat chicken and carrot sticks and celery when my family is having fresh homemade bread, pasta, cream sauces.

I feel on the edge of giving up. Very, very close to giving up. Because I don't have the mental stamina to give myself to losing weight if the weight isn't going to come off. :'(

I am really, truly sorry for such a downer post. Honestly, I am. But I am not going to hide behind a false front. I'm going to tell it like it is. And it ai'nt pretty.

I guess I need to give a fact about myself for the challenge. The challenge in which I was supposed to lose 20 pounds and in fact have only lost 7. Bleh.

Ok, here it is. I never, never, ever wear my hair down. I can't stand it in my face or on my neck. It's always pulled back in a ponytail or bloop, even when I sleep.


  1. I'm so sorry you are upset and deservedly so. No platitudes intended. What I can say is that your body is your body. You are absolutely doing the right things and I can't think of a single solitary suggestion to overcome your plateau. About the only thing I've ever done which is difficult to recommend, is a mini-binge. When the scale as gotten stuck for me in the past, I've had one bad meal and it seems to be enough of a change to shock my metabolism back to working.

    Since stress (and you are under a lot of it due to your impending move) is a known factor in causing your body to retain weight, then your only other step is to do whatever you can to reduce your stress level. The good news, is that you are on a great start for it. You cleaned your house, you got your emotions out, you blogged about it. I assume you actually feel a bit better now.

    So, the tangible advice is to shake things up a bit, maybe one binge meal (don't go crazy, though) and keep de-stressing.

    My .02 cents worth.

  2. I know your frustration. I am grain free, dairy free, sugar free, working out like a maniac and still losing at a snail's pace, that is IF I lose that week. WTH???? I'm not giving up though, even if I have to get there ounces at a time, I will end up at my goal weight.

  3. RA, I know you don't want comfort, but can I just say, I feel your pain. It's so hard when you are working SO hard and don't see the results everyone else seems to get.

    Obviously, the Dawnie is no Dr., but I wonder if your hormonal issues are the problem. Does whatever you see the Dr. for have weight side effects? I know PCOS, which is also hormonal and what I suffer from, makes it very difficult to lose weight.

    I can just see you cleaning that kitchen like a mad woman. I totally get it!!! Can totally relate. Way to go for not eating out of emotion...maybe try and "freedom" day, without going crazy, staying in moderation. Maybe your body is getting really used to chicken! Live it up, add some fish or something! :)

    Thinking of you. Glad you turned to blog land and not a bag of chips. YAY you!

  4. BTW, I know you are a woman of faith. Have you asked God to show you His plan for your weight loss? He has promised that He hears and answers. The sheep will know the Shepherd's voice.

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  6. Ruth Anne, I really hope you don't quit because I truly belive you can and will accomplish your goal and also you are one of my favorite bloggers.

    Normally I'm not big on dispensing dieting advice because I'm for people doing it their own way, but since you are asking...

    First off, I do NOT like this approach of almost no diary and grain. Those are two of the five major food groups your body needs, and I don't think it's doing you any good to try to deny yourself of them completely. Secondly, I don't think eating endless cycles of chicken and carrot sticks and celery and the like is a realistic, balanced approach to making the kind of life change you are wanting to make. That is the kind of plan that has always been a recipe for disaster for me in the past; it works for a while, and then I fall off the wagon when the weight loss slows down because no one wants to spend their whole life eating that way.

    The following might sound like bragging, but it isn't. I suggest that you keep up the exercise and pattern your eating after mine for a week to see how it goes. Granted my losses in February have slowed down from the big 15 pound January loss, but I still am knocking off the pounds slowly but surely, and I am doing so eating from ALL the food groups in moderation. You know from reading my blog that I list my daily intake of meals and snacks in pretty good detail. So pick any given week out of my blog and try to emulate it as closely as possible. Obviously, there is no guarantee it will work for you, but I'll bet you enjoy what you eat a lot more. And I figure since you're about to quit anyway, what have you got to lose, other than maybe a little weight...

  7. Well, first, I like your new blog name. When I first saw it on my blog roll, I was thinking, "Who is the skinny turtle?"

    Second, I feel so bad. This IS frustrating. The only thing I can think of is, are you eating six small meals a makes your metabolism think it is not being deprived and to let go of the fat. Did you eliminate all carbs? I would think you would still be able to drop some weight with good carbs like brown rice, potatos and sweet potatoes. I don't know if I'd want to eliminate all carbs.

    I just don't know what else to say, but whatever you do try to stick to eating whole, unprocessed foods. They will make you feel better and they will let the weight go better.

    Hope things look up soon for you.

  8. Oh man! SO sorry. I am super disappointed for you.
    Since you are asking..I agree take a meal off. Tonight, when we go out :) I do hope you can make it. :)
    Then i think you should give calorie counting a shot again. I think you enjoyed what you were eating more back then and I guess I think that is the best method, since that's what worked for me.
    In any case, I hope it goes better in the near future. . with the scale. :)

  9. First off, I love your blog. Second, my name is Allison, and third I am sorry about your frustration. As many others have said I have been there many times as well. I did the no grain, no dairy, no carb thing and it did NOT work for my body like it did everyone else's. I need grains and dairy!

    What helped me was to reevaluate and shake things up. I started counting calories and doing WW some. It has totally changed my life. I also have boosted up my fiber and protein and it has made a world of difference in my weight loss. I still have a long way to go, but I am finally making strides. Use this slump to re-energize and learn more about yourself. I know you probably do not want to hear that though. How much cardio verses strength training are you doing. Running is a great way to take pounds off. Well, these are some suggestions! I am rooting for you and I look forward to following you on this journey. check me out at: