Checking In...

Hi Bloggy Friends!
Sorry (AGAIN) for going MIA.  Life sometimes gets the better of me.

I had one kiddo with pneumonia, one with double ear infections, one cutting teeth and one who had cabin fever in exponential amounts. 

It was busy. ;-)

Everyone is on the mend now, so here I am checking in.

HCG.....  Le sigh.  So not happening.  I just can't seem to do it.  I am not sure why, exactly.  But I just can't seem to stick to it.  Maybe it's because I'm nursing.  Maybe it's because I'm very sleep-deprived.  Maybe I just don't have enough self-control.  Whatever it is, I haven't been able to do it for any length of time.

I was doing okay until I had a day where I was super faithful to stick to it. I had made zucchini bread, chicken parmesan, garlic bread, etc... and did not have even one crumb.  I drank over 72 ounces of water.  And the next day I gained weight.  It took all the wind out of my sails.  I think if I would have just stuck with it, I would have had a drop, but I just couldn't keep going on.

I know I can't give up, because I absolutely can't be at this weight for the rest of my life.  But I also have to figure out a smart way to lose the weight, so that I don't lose my mind in the process. ;-)

For now, I'm just kind of trying to watch what I eat.  In the back of my head, I kind of have this feeling that once Nora stops nursing, the weight will come off a lot easier.  For now, my body is being ridiculous and just wants to hold onto every ounce of fat it can get.  Sometimes I'm tempted to get really angry that I can't be like the majority of other women, who burn fat from nursing, and drop the baby weight pronto.  But, that doesn't accomplish anything.  At all.

My desire to lose weight is soooooo strong, but not strong enough to wean Nora.  I don't think it's fair to her, and I don't feel right about it.  So for now, I'm working on being content, being thankful, and working through my vanity issues.  Cuz that is what it boils down to.  I'm vain.  I want to look good.  Yes, I also want to be healthy, but the overriding issue is vanity.

So.  Kinda dumb.  I feel like I keep reporting "non" things.  Failures.  But, this is real life, and this is where I am at.

If you have any great ideas, please feel free to pass them on to me! :)