Squeezing

Hi all,
How are you? I'm doing pretty good. 

I'm still scared of having a giant baby.

But in the meantime, I'm dealing with other things. Like hormones, frequent and painful braxton hicks, and just generally feeling like I'm being squeezed by a boa constrictor at all times.

Today I'm more emotional than normal, probably because we had a busy weekend and I didn't sleep well last night. I kept getting woken up by contractions, by my back and pelvis feeling like it was being ripped apart, needing to use the restroom and my boys coming in all night long.  Yeah, that could be why I'm teary today. ;-)

I fluctuate between being so, so, so thankful that my baby is healthy and still alive and wanting her out. NOW.  I feel so selfish for even feeling "done" because I talked with my friend who lost her baby this weekend, and I can only imagine the feeling of emptiness she feels, where there was supposed to be a sweet bundle of pink.  But really, I am DONE.  Except, I'm not. I've still got 5ish weeks to go.  And that feels like an eternity.

I keep reminding myself of the verse, "As your day, so shall your strength be." And I know that God won't give me more than I can bear.  But it's really pushing it, currently. ;-) I am dealing with hardcore heartburn, which I've never had before.  Wow, it's painful! I feel like it's burning a hole right through my esophagus.

Eh, I'm just complaining and I don't want to do that. Because I am extremely, deeply thankful for this precious little girl and that so far everything is healthy and whole.  I just wish the pregnancy part was over. :-D

Anyway, I'll take a picture tomorrow so you can see me in all my 35 week, up 30 pounds glory. Bleh.

The sun is shining and is supposed to be out this whole week, so I plan to take it easy and soak up the rays.  Hopefully that will help my attitude. :-D