I'm here. I'm fighting. I'm emotional.
I haven't started HCG again, because I already have enough stress in my life and I can't handle more. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with the fact that I'm still so much larger than I ever imagined I'd be when we go to Mexico. Life is so much more than WEIGHT.
My MIL is doing worse and worse. She's confined to a hospital bed, has a catheter, needs to be fed. It's heartbreaking. I cry a lot. I know she is going to a far better place, I know she will be free of this broken body, but I'm also going to MISS her. A lot.
Josh is gone a ton this month. We are supposed to leave for Mexico in 12 days. Honestly? I don't want to go. I don't want to miss a single precious day with mom. My children are freaking out.
None of us have really, truly recovered from the scare with Nora. We are physically, mentally, emotionally exhausted. The kids cry. They scream. Owen has developed several fairly severe tics. Anytime Josh is gone, the boys flip out. Did I mention he's scheduled to be gone 9 of the last 14 days of this month?
Yeah. It's tough. I'm not giving up. I've gained 4.5 pounds of what I lost back. I'm getting stuff for green smoothies, cuz I figure that's an easy and delicious way to get some low calorie, healthy greens in.
I'll keep you posted. Sorry I haven't been posting as much. I've just been dealing with life.
Psalm 143:10Help me to do your will, for you are my God. Lead me in good paths, for your Spirit is good.