One. Day. At. A. Time.

Matt, thanks so much for your kind and wise words.  I do need to just take it one day at a time, and not look at the whole, huge picture.  I can almost feel myself deflate when I think about being pregnant for another 6.5 months.

On Friday I had to go to the hospital for IV fluids because I was so dehydrated. I didn't realize how bad it was until after I got the fluids and proceeded to use the bathroom at least 4-5 times in the next few hours.  I've been going to the bathroom once, maybe twice a day. Oops.  It's just so hard to keep anything down.

They also gave me phenergan in my IV, which is an anti-nausea.  Oh my word, that is a nasty drug!!! I felt high.  My tongue was swollen and I couldn't form words, I couldn't focus my eyes, and it made me intensely sleepy, but every time I started to doze off I'd have these weird full-body cramps that gave me the heebie jeebies.  So weird.  And so not fun.

Josh came down and sat with me, and I was thankful for that.  I was so, so, so cold, so he wrangled up some warm blankets, a heating pad, and rubber gloves filled with hot water that I held onto.  I had to get 2 liters and it took 2 hours or so, so we were there quite a while.

Thankfully, my sister was able to watch my kiddos.  Normally, once I've received the fluids I feel better right away.  I'm not sure if it was the phenergan or what, but this time I felt just as bad and basically came home and slept the rest of the day. 

The zofran didn't help, so the OB gave me a prescription for another anti-nausea but guess what? It's for phenergan and now I'm scared to take it after the reaction I had at the hospital! I did take one pill yesterday, and ended up sleeping all day long.  And then I threw up horribly.  So not sure if it's worth it, especially because during the week I don't have the luxury of staying in bed all day! :-P

Josh has been so incredibly amazing through all of this.  I think we both kind of forgot how sick I really get; or maybe I just haven't been this sick since being pregnant with Kate.  I try not to think about it too much, otherwise I'll sink into depression and despair.  I just don't understand why my body doesn't like pregnancy.  But whatever, it doesn't, and I can't change that. 

Anyway, I'm trying to take it one day at a time, not think about the future, not think about how many more days of nausea/throwing up/headaches I have in front of me.  At this point I can't even focus on the new baby I'll get in the end, because it all just seems too far away. 

So I'll take it one day, one hour at a time.  Try to figure out something, anything that helps me not feel like death warmed over. Try to be a good  mom and wife.  And know that, this too shall pass. :)