Not Giving Up

Hi Guys, and Happy Monday to you. =)

I just want to put it out there that I am NOT giving up. I'm not.

Is it hard? Yes.  Am I struggling? Yes.  Have I gained weight? Yes. Is my life stressful? Yes. Whose isn't!?

BUT I AM NOT GIVING UP!!!

I am going to focus on healthy eating, consuming lean proteins and fruits and vegetables as much as possible.

I got a break yesterday; Josh took the kids so I could go shopping.  I got 2 new shirts and a skirt, although I think I'll take the skirt back.  I'm not sure I like it enough to wear frequently.  Then we got to watch a movie in the evening, came home by 8:00 and sat on our back porch drinking wine and eating cheese and crackers.  It was sooooo nice.  I feel refreshed and ready to tackle this weight thing again.

So I'm out of the quicksand. :-D  But not out of the woods.  I still have work to do.  And I'll do it.

I'll weigh in again on Thursday and post it here.

Quicksand

 

THIS is how I feel.  I am struggling and struggling, fighting and kicking and yet, I just keep sinking deeper.

I don't know what to do.

I weighed yesterday. 144.4  Yes, One hundred forty four pounds.  Yikes.

I feel like if I try to do the 17 Day Diet, then I get all freaky about being so restricted and go way overboard.  And then I lay in bed, every night, feeling bloated and gross and vowing to myself that the next day will be better.  And then the next day comes and it's stressful and busy and I'm exhausted and by the end of the day all I want to do is sit and watch my show and shove candy into my mouth.

That's the thing.  I'm not eating tons of junk food during the day.  But at the end of the day, me and candy... we go overboard.  And it's showing on the scale.  

I feel like these two women are inside of me and are constantly warring.  The fat one NEEDS food to cope, to destress, to manage to squeak by.  The thin one is also fighting, telling me how much better I'll look and feel if I'm healthy.  Wanting to be a good example to my daughter.  Wanting to feel good about myself and not allow food to have power over me.

It is totally and utterly exhausting.  This struggle goes on all day, every day.  And clearly, the fat lady is currently winning.

So this is my plan for now.  I am going to follow the 17 Day Diet, BUT I will allow myself to have ONE SERVING of candy at night.  And not one serving of each kind, cuz  let me tell ya, I have a veritable candy store in my cupboard.  One serving of one type.  And that's all.  Eat it slowly and enjoy it.  And make sure I eat healthy during the day. 

I hope it works.  I need/want to see the scale go back down.  I don't feel good about myself.  I don't have any energy.  My sleep is horrible; I have weird dreams, wake up and can't go back to sleep, feel drugged all day due to sheer exhaustion.  This is not okay.

So I am once again, for the 3rd time, going to pick myself back up and try to start the diet again.  Try to learn healthy, lifelong habits that will stick.  Learn to live in moderation, so I don't feel deprived and yet I don't allow myself to go overboard either.

I am trying to find my way, and I'm sorry I'm not the Golden Girl success story that some other bloggers perhaps are.  But I'm not going to give up.  I'm not.  I will conquer this and I will be healthy and happy. Amen! 

17 Day Diet... Take 3

Sheesh.  Here we go again. ;-)

I had a lovely vacation, but am so glad to be home.  There's no place like home. =)

My sister and I are starting the diet together today.  We both want/need to lose more weight and for various reasons don't want to do a round of HCG at this point.

I need to get some more groceries; fruit, yogurt, lean protein, salad, etc...  I plan to boil a bunch of eggs because I can eat those pretty regularly without getting tired of them. 

You're also supposed to do 17 minutes of exercise a day, so we'll see what I am able to do.  Josh is gone out of state til Wednesday, so my sister is staying here with me.  We may take a walk if it's not raining, or else maybe we can do a video together.  Or yoga.  We'll see.

I'll weigh in on Thursday and post my weight. I'm not looking forward to that. :-P  But I just want to be done with actively dieting.  I'd like to get down to 130, which means I need to lose between 10 and 12 pounds, probably.  Very doable, I just have to DO IT.  And the 17 Day Diet was working, before I lost my motivation.  So hopefully it'll do the trick.

I'll keep you posted! The next few weeks are less busy than the previous few have been, so hopefully I'll have more time to post.

Happy Monday!

New Motivation

Hi Guys!
Just taking a break in the middle of the day... the sun is intense! So I came inside and decided to do a little post. =)

The good news is, I'm starting to feel more motivated to lose weight again.  Like, I'm happy with where I am but would still like to improve.  I just want to deal with these last 10-12 pounds and be done for good.  And I think I'm going to do the 17 Day Diet to get rid of them.

I also recently discovered honey flavored greek yogurt, and WOW.  It is so good!  Not intensely honey flavored, but just lightly sweet and so delicious.  So I've been eating that at least once a day.

I have had LOTS and LOTS of chocolate.  I'm talking LOTS.  Too much.  Yesterday, especially.  But now I feel like I got it out of my system and can carry on as usual, LOL! ;-)

MB-If you try hypnosis, let me know how it works. ;-)

Not much else to report; I'll start posting regularly again next week, hopefully.  At least once a week.  I haven't weighed in a LONG time; I think I'll have a wake up call waiting for me next week. :-O

Hope you are all doing well and enjoying your summer!!

Vacation

Hi there!
Sorry for the super duper long silence.  We're on vacation and I haven't really had time to post. =)

I'm doing well; I haven't weighed or anything since last week.  I'm a little afraid to, actually. :-P  I haven't been overeating, but I also have been having lots of treats.  Also, sorry if this is TMI, but my monthly cycle has been brutal this month! I'm not sure what is going on, but it's really heavy and I have NO energy.  I feel very lethargic and tired.

Other than that things are good.  I've been feeling this deep, intense longing to walk/jog lately.  Like, my body is craving it.  So maybe once we're back home I can figure out how to do that. 

Hope you are all well, and I just wanted to check in and let you know I'm alive and well! =)

My Other Blog

MB, I have another blog where I write about family stuff and daily life stuff.  =) 

Here is the link:
http://www.deliciouslydisheveled.blogspot.com/

I will continue blogging there throughout the summer.

I also don't plan to just "give up and let go" this summer, as far as diet is concerned. I'm going to make healthy, conscious decisions and I think I'll try to post at least once a week with my weigh-in weight.

So I'm not disappearing or anything like that. ;-)

Blogging Break... Perhaps?

Hi everyone. =)
How are you all? I'm good.  We had a great 4th of July.  Went to a big picnic at our church, swam, played games, the kids got their faces painted, we were gifted a cake from the cake auction, and fireworks.  Oh.  And the food. :-D  Super yummy and I am very happy to say I did NOT overeat at all.  I had one Hebrew National dog with mustard and relish, 1/2 c of homemade potato salad (my first attempt and it's delicious!) 2 different kinds of salad; one pasta and one vegetable, and then a little bit of this cherry dessert that was pretty good.

Anyway, I'm thinking about taking a blogging break because I just don't really have all that much to report and we're busy enjoying the summer. ;-)  I've been contemplating going back on the 17 Day Diet, but feel so wishy washy about it.  And since this is supposed to be a weight loss blog, I feel I just don't really have anything to talk about.  And frankly, it stresses me out.  To always have to come up with something to say, yet not be actively working on it.

Anyway, I'll blog as I have time and something to say, LOL, but it's probably going to slow down A LOT during this summer.

I'm doing well and loving life, so that is good. =)

Hope you all are doing well, and feel free to stay in touch, either via comments or my skinnyturtle email acct.  If you email me, just leave me a comment to let me know, as I rarely check that email acct.

Happy Summer!

Hi =)

Hi Friends!
How are you today? I'm doing well.  We had a super busy morning with swim lessons (they finished up today) and then went to Costco with the entire rest of the state, all getting ready for the 4th of July. ;-)

I have SO MUCH housework to do.  I really slacked off this week and it shows.  So today I'm buzzing around getting it all done.  Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, sweeping, cleaning out my fridge, cleaning out the art cabinet and recycling the used paper, etc...

I'm feeling really bloated today, as TOM should be starting next week, but my insatiable hunger is waning, so that's good.  I think I ate pretty well yesterday, but honestly can't remember everything I ate.  I didn't binge or overeat, that much I know.

Today I had a bowl of shredded wheat and granola for breakfast and an iced coffee.  I need to get some protein in to help me power through all my housework.

Overall I'm feeling very good and guess what? THE SUN IS SHINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best thing ever. :-D

I think I'll get back to the 17 Day Diet soon.  But for now I'm trying something else out; eating the 17 Day Diet way during the week, and then taking the weekends off.  Now, that doesn't mean I can go overboard and eat all manners of junk on the weekends. But if, for example, Josh asks me to make scones like he requested for tomorrow, well then I'll go ahead and eat one.  And if I get full before it's gone, then I'll stop.  And eat mostly lean protein, vegetables and fruits the rest of the time.

I'm so happy with all the fruit that is in season right now! I got nectarines that are PERFECTLY ripe, apples, blueberries, bananas, and I still have some strawberries.  I'm just going to wash everything and put it in a big bowl on the table and let the kids and myself have at it. =)

Hope you all have a super weekend and celebrate our freedom on Monday!!!