Monday, March 1, 2010

Trying to get back in the groove of things...

It's Monday morning and I've had my cup of coffee and a few animal crackers. I can tell I need to keep a check on myself regarding carbs, as now that they aren't forbidden I want them all the time, in copious amounts. ;-)

I am really, really tired. Exhausted. I don't know what's going on with my body, but it's not normal. I will try to do my exercise, but just the thought makes me want to cry, curl up into a ball and go to sleep. So that means that I'll have to be extra vigilant with my eating, so that I don't eat my way to high heaven and then not exercise at all.

Anyway, I feel some pressure now. Pressure to be successful because I know people are reading and rooting for me. I'm trying to just learn to live a healthy lifestyle and not worry about what people think, but the pressure is definitely there. I don't know if that's good or bad, LOL!

We are having a guy come appraise our house today so we can put it on the rental market. We are looking at another house this weekend, which means leaving the kiddos. I think they will be okay, though. Hopefully this new house will work out; Josh drove by it and it's in a very nice, affluent neighborhood, in a great school district and only 5 minutes from our friends! The landlords seem really nice and are being very helpful working with our schedule and all. Hopefully we are able to sign a lease!

Over the weekend I went a bit overboard. Well, Saturday night, really. My 2 good friends and I (who happen to be my sisters in law also, aren't I lucky!!) went to see a movie and then to Applebee's. I had some nachos, chicken and a few fries. I was sick all day on Sunday; my stomach was just in turmoil, my head hurt, my ears hurt. It was horrible. I weighed myself at the end of the day, cringing to see what damage I had done, but miraculously the scale still said 167. I don't know if I can trust my scale!

Anyway, I haven't weighed this morning. I just don't want to step on it, see a gain and fall deeper into the hole of depression that is threatening to swallow me. I'm going to attempt to do an exercise video; or maybe I'll just do HIIT on my treadmill. I'll try to do something. Then I need to get the house in order for the appraisal, meanwhile working with my kiddos.

It's so odd how they are acting. I really don't recognize them and don't know how to work with them and help them. I know they are probably feeding off my negative/stressed/disappointed in myself energy. So today I'm working on being extra extra kind and patient with them.

They woke up at 6:30, which is loads better then 5:30! I got up and started the coffee and was treated to a beautiful sunrise! It was really nice to see and so pretty.

I want to apologize in advance that I won't be reading blogs for now. I just get so sad when I see it succeeding for everyone. I know that is extremely selfish and immature. But I don't want to throw in the towel, give up, gain the weight I've worked SO HARD to lose (those dang 7 pounds, ha ha ha!!!) so I am just going to focus on myself for now. My eating, my exercise and my family. Not in that order, necessarily. ;-)

I do appreciate your care, concern, advice and just any comment you take the time to give me. I hope to get back in the groove of things and be able to return the favor. I just want you to know there is no expectation that you leave comments since I can't reciprocate right now. But I do heart you all!

Here's to a new beginning; to continuing this journey to the end even if it takes WAY longer than I had hoped and anticipated, even if every single one of you lose your weight and go on to be GQ and Victoria's Secret models and I still haven't attained Skinny Turtle status yet. ;-D


  1. Continue you beautiful! You will get through this and be successful! I know it.

  2. Just take it pressure! We aren't judging! Trust me all of us have been through a slump or two. Just focus on yourself and try not to worry! We'll be here when you come back ;)

  3. I completely understand, I went a little crazy this weekend and ended up with a 3 pound gain! It's awesome to read about the success of other blogger's, but not when I'm struggling and they aren't! You're such an inspiration, regardless of whether or not you lose weight because you're willing to write about everything, not just the successes!