It's Monday morning and I've had my cup of coffee and a few animal crackers. I can tell I need to keep a check on myself regarding carbs, as now that they aren't forbidden I want them all the time, in copious amounts. ;-)
I am really, really tired. Exhausted. I don't know what's going on with my body, but it's not normal. I will try to do my exercise, but just the thought makes me want to cry, curl up into a ball and go to sleep. So that means that I'll have to be extra vigilant with my eating, so that I don't eat my way to high heaven and then not exercise at all.
Anyway, I feel some pressure now. Pressure to be successful because I know people are reading and rooting for me. I'm trying to just learn to live a healthy lifestyle and not worry about what people think, but the pressure is definitely there. I don't know if that's good or bad, LOL!
We are having a guy come appraise our house today so we can put it on the rental market. We are looking at another house this weekend, which means leaving the kiddos. I think they will be okay, though. Hopefully this new house will work out; Josh drove by it and it's in a very nice, affluent neighborhood, in a great school district and only 5 minutes from our friends! The landlords seem really nice and are being very helpful working with our schedule and all. Hopefully we are able to sign a lease!
Over the weekend I went a bit overboard. Well, Saturday night, really. My 2 good friends and I (who happen to be my sisters in law also, aren't I lucky!!) went to see a movie and then to Applebee's. I had some nachos, chicken and a few fries. I was sick all day on Sunday; my stomach was just in turmoil, my head hurt, my ears hurt. It was horrible. I weighed myself at the end of the day, cringing to see what damage I had done, but miraculously the scale still said 167. I don't know if I can trust my scale!
Anyway, I haven't weighed this morning. I just don't want to step on it, see a gain and fall deeper into the hole of depression that is threatening to swallow me. I'm going to attempt to do an exercise video; or maybe I'll just do HIIT on my treadmill. I'll try to do something. Then I need to get the house in order for the appraisal, meanwhile working with my kiddos.
It's so odd how they are acting. I really don't recognize them and don't know how to work with them and help them. I know they are probably feeding off my negative/stressed/disappointed in myself energy. So today I'm working on being extra extra kind and patient with them.
They woke up at 6:30, which is loads better then 5:30! I got up and started the coffee and was treated to a beautiful sunrise! It was really nice to see and so pretty.
I want to apologize in advance that I won't be reading blogs for now. I just get so sad when I see it succeeding for everyone. I know that is extremely selfish and immature. But I don't want to throw in the towel, give up, gain the weight I've worked SO HARD to lose (those dang 7 pounds, ha ha ha!!!) so I am just going to focus on myself for now. My eating, my exercise and my family. Not in that order, necessarily. ;-)
I do appreciate your care, concern, advice and just any comment you take the time to give me. I hope to get back in the groove of things and be able to return the favor. I just want you to know there is no expectation that you leave comments since I can't reciprocate right now. But I do heart you all!
Here's to a new beginning; to continuing this journey to the end even if it takes WAY longer than I had hoped and anticipated, even if every single one of you lose your weight and go on to be GQ and Victoria's Secret models and I still haven't attained Skinny Turtle status yet. ;-D