Getting There

Mary Beth, I HATE having to go to the bathroom all the time, too!!!!! Seriously, I do. And it seems like I get those last few glasses of water in before bed and then I have to pop in and out of bed several times before I can finally go to sleep. So annoying.

Anyway, I did drink a whole pitcher of water yesterday. It's not enough, but it's a good start. I also was doing much better with my eating... until I made Ranger Cookies. Do you know what those are? They have oatmeal, coconut and we put Craisins in them. I ate WAY too many. I was hungry and since I'm trying not to get more groceries before we move, I didn't have any good stuff on hand. And the cookies were convenient. I had an excruciating headache all day, was super grumpy and lethargic. So not worth it.

Today I have done WAY better. I had a banana and peanut butter for breakfast and some Progresso chicken soup with oyster crackers for lunch. And one SMALL ranger cookie for dessert. I've been drinking water and haven't had anything else to eat. Oh,wait, 1 piece of chocolate toffee candy.

I leave tonight for Arizona and I am really hoping and praying that this time we'll find the answer. I have high hopes, as he is going to do the test on my brain to see if the chemicals are in balance. In the past I've only had my hormones tested, which were always off. And boy howdy, are they ever off again!!

Every day around 4:00 I get FREEZING cold. I'm talking bone-chilling. My bones and joints ache, I have to run and put on a couple of pairs of socks and sweatshirts and usually get a cup of something hot--coffee or tea. And my hair is falling out like crazy. It's insane. I'm surprised I have any left.

Anyway, so I know my thyroid is out. Plus the weight gain; granted I've been eating FAR too many calories and exercising FAR too little (none, actually). But this sudden weight gain scared me. I was holding steady for weeks and haven't changed my eating habits enough to warrant a 5 pound gain. I was down a bit this morning to 144.8, so that was good news.

Heading down in the right direction. I think the water helps flush out any sodium buildup and it also helps me not to feel hungry. So I plan to continue with that and will do my best while in Arizona. I'm meeting my grandma and aunt, and my mom and sister are also coming. I'm really looking forward to it. And most of all I am praying that this brain chemical treatment plan will be the answer. It makes sense.

If I take a Xanax or 2 a day, I'm golden. I'm calm, don't react like a fire-breathing dragon, I'm rational. And Xanax deals with serotonin in the brain. SO if I can fix that naturally (because you can't just take 1 or 2 Xanax a day without side effects... addiction, namely) then that would be such a huge answer to prayer and a HUGE stress relief.

So we'll see how it goes. I feel hopeful.

The packing is going well. I've been really trying to do more this week. It's so hard to figure out what to pack when. Like, this week I was just going gung-ho, but then realized that I'd packed up all my spices and kitchen utensils so we basically have to eat out until we move. I have cereal and what not, but most everything else is packed. I dread the cleaning, but I have a good friend coming to help with that part, too.

And I am purging. Boy howdy am I ever purging. It feels so great to get rid of all this stuff! It's not even necessarily junk or crappy items. But it's just surplus and I don't need it or use it. I can't wait to be settled into my sweet little home, with big, bright, open, sunny areas and less clutter. Bliss.

Once I get settled in at home, I plan to figure out some type of exercise program. I don't know what yet, but I look forward to figuring it out.

The funny thing is that there is something inside of me that longs to run. It seems like it would feel sooo good, it would be so refreshing. But when I actually do it, my body rebels. My knees and ankles hurt, I can't get into a good rhythm/cadence. I ran in high school and it got me into shape so fast! So I'm thinking maybe I'll start out slow (HOLLA, Dawnie!!) and just jog/walk around my block a couple of times and then work my way up to running. I'm not fast; I'm more endurance. So I don't expect to break any world records for the time it takes me to run a mile. But it would just be nice to be doing something active.

The idea of running and having some time in solitude to think, to work out my frustrations, to breathe the fresh air... it just pulls at something inside of me. So I'm going to work towards that.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! I'll be back on Saturday, but we have a busy day of moving couches and dinner with friends, so I probably won't post again until Sunday or Monday.

PS If you guys are into style at all, Bryn is having a fabulous giveaway!!!! Super amazing items. Go check it out!! (I got another entry for blogging about it, but I love her blog and her work. Plus, she lives in South Carolina!!!!)