Special

Lately my favorite thing in the whole world to eat is Special K with Red Berries.  It's so so so good!  I have to limit myself though, because too much milk makes me very sick.  No bueno.

Not too much else going on around here.  I think we finally found a name! It'll be the first time we're going with a "proper" name but calling her by a nickname.  However, when I started thinking about her as the nickname, it totally clicked.  We don't tell until they are born so... only about 133 day until the big reveal. :-P

In other news, I'm going away this coming weekend with my sister and mom! We're going to a lakehouse at the beach and I positively can't wait!  There is a big outlet chain there and I plan to get my shopping on for Baby Girl.  I have coupons to Carters and Motherhood.  I found some adorable outfits at Target last night, but resisted the urge to buy them yet because I want to see what the outlets have to offer, and Target will ALWAYS go on clearance at some point.

I am LOVING the tiny, pink, girly stuff!

 

I did find some things for me while at Target.  2 thin, long sleeve shirts, a cute sweatshirt, some new undies and a new water bottle.  Hopefully that'll encourage me to drink more water; I still struggle with that. 

I have been craving salads lately so I've had some delicious ones with rotisserie chicken, carrots, cucumbers, feta cheese, tomatoes and avocadoes on them.  Actually, I'm gonna go make one now. :-D

What's new with you guys?

Pain

Hi guys!
How are you all? We're doing very well.  Christian is pretty much 100% recovered.  No crying blood or hamburger eyes to be seen! It looks like he has a burst blood vessel on the outside corner of his eyes, but otherwise is completely normal.  He's going back to school today. :-D

I, on the other hand, am having some issues.  I started pool therapy on Wednesday, and although I didn't feel like I overdid it, by that evening I couldn't walk.  I went to my other physical therapy appt last night and it turns out my hips/pelvis were crooked 3 different ways! No wonder I was in pain! So she fixed it, but I woke up this morning and felt like my pelvis was going to crack in half. It usually hurts the day after it's adjusted, but it is just getting worse.

And I still have 20 weeks to go. :-O  Not really sure what to do about that.  Hopefully the pool therapy, physical therapy and maybe some chiropractic care will help. I'm a tiny bit worried about the last weeks, and making sure my pelvis is aligned correctly so the baby can get through the birth canal, but I'll figure that out when I get there.

In other news, I think we've narrowed it down to 2 names.  Although they didn't jump out at us as THE ONE, they are growing on me. We'll probably go to the hospital with both names and then choose when she's here.  That'll be a first for us, usually we have the name picked out long beforehand.

Well, I have a long weekend ahead of me... all the men in our church are having a retreat this weekend, which means all the moms are left with all the kids. ;-)  I'm trying to conserve my energy so I can make it through the weekend without getting sick.

Hope you're doing well and have a fabulous Friday!

Christian's Eye Surgery

Christian's surgery was today, and it went very well!

He came out of the anesthesia just fine, no screaming or being violent or anything like that.  But then he was in so much pain. :,(  He kept saying, "It hurts!!!" and squeezing his eyes shut.  He couldn't open them because it was too painful.  There was a little bit of blood around his eyes, but nothing horrific.  We got him some Tylenol and once that kicked in he felt a lot better.

Here he is, drugged up watching cartoons and waiting to go the OR:

And here we are, before surgery:

 

Once we got home we both crashed.  We'd been up since 6 and were TIRED.  I had to get up and go to my first pool therapy session.  It was really nice, and I look forward to continuing my therapy there.  They gave me some exercises to do in the water to strengthen my core.  

When I got home, Christian was up and feeling much better.  He had his eyes open and was eating.  I tried to snap a good picture, but he just looks goofy. :-P

His eyes are still a little swollen, but only bloodshot on the outer corners, so far.  Nothing like what I was expecting.  We'll see if it gets worse tomorrow, but so far I'm very pleasantly surprised. And so SO glad it's done and over with!!!

Tereza's Wise Words

My good friend Tereza left me this comment after my post yesterday, and I think what she said is really, really good. So I'm posting it here for everyone to read. I'm glad she persevered and kept trying to comment even when she lost it the first 2 times!

Thank you, Tereza.  It was just exactly what I needed to hear.

Third time typing this cause I keep loosing the comment!!!!! But I really wanted to tell you this so here we go..hopefully third time is the charm:)
Dearest Ruth!!!
The surgery sounds so scary but I'm happy to hear that he is in the care of really good doctors who know what they are doing!
About the weight gain....everyones situation and body is so different and frankly I am so tired of the way one type of feminine body is the only acceptable look!! Seriously...God made everyone unique and gave the unique beauty to go with it!!!
I hereby release you of all depressed feelings about how you look, all comparing, all wishing and wanting and even THINKING that you are supposed to be something other than what you are right at this moment...January 2012!! You are where you are supposed to be in life...you are growing a brand new LIFE and you situation renders you somewhat imobile!! Therefore you are not even supposed to be thinner and you are supposed to gain weight!!!! Think of it that way...total acceptance of your new beautiful body...all its rolls of extra fat storage...doing their job...getting you ready for months of nursing baby and rushed days where you wont have time to sit and munch!!! It's storing up reserves. Learn to appreciate this wonderful survival mechanism!!!!! LOVE your body!!
THEN with this new mind...cut down white foods to just half if you wish...dont deprive yourself but think of it as feeding your beautiful, wonderful, functioning body (its not broken for being chubby and gaining!!!! its doing what its supposed to do...hell with what society thinks!!)....the half of whites you don't eat...replace with good nourishing foods such as crunchy veggies of all color, fruit of many kinds, and healthy grains made into delicious...low sugar breads and treats. Treat yourself with utmost care...your body is a QUEEN right now!!!
Also...why not go shopping and dress this lovely, life giving body in beautiful clothes!! Dont wait to be smaller before you treat yourself to well fitting, stylish clothes that make you feel happy and give you that boost! You'll see how much easier it is then to eat healthy and appreciate yourself when you feel pretty and have plenty to choose from in your closet for any occasion!

thats my advice...to sum it up
1. shut off your mind to how you think you are supposed to look cause you already look it!
2. reverse your thoughts to think of yourself as a beautiful unique woman with and awesome life giving body!!! Think of your rolls as something your body is doing for you to help you in the future...think of your rolls and bumps as lovely round, full curves instead!!
3. Eat healthy..NOURISH your body for you and your baby...but dont deprive yourself of treats...slowly crowd out the unnourishing foods with colorful, nourishing ones!!
4. Buy yourself LOTS of clothes...make your closet sing!!!So you can sing when you open it:):) You deserve it...your body deserves it for being so awesome and doing its job so well taking care of you and housing your spirit!!

Sorry this was so long:) I just had to!!
PS: spelling sucks...I'm in hurry...kids everywhere!!

Brutal Honesty

Hi All!
I had a super duper busy weekend. It basically started at 6:30a.m. on Saturday and didn't stop until 8:30pm Sunday night.

My brother got married and it was wonderful and fantastic.  I did well all day, and so did the kids, for the most part.  Josh did end up taking them home early, but I got to stay til the end.

I had my follow-up appt with the OB today, and he said the ultrasound report looked great! The baby is completely healthy and whole, and is 100% girl. :-D  I can't even put into words how relieved and thankful I am.  I have been on Zoloft this pregnancy, which is a first for me, so I was always afraid there would be some kind of deformation.  Cleft lip, heart abnormality, brain cysts, something.  But everything looks just as it should, and she is measuring right on track!

I have so much to be thankful for that I feel kind of dumb airing my grievances, but they are very real too.

The thing is, it's really hard to gain weight.  When you've worked hard to lose it, it's hard to see the scale go up again.  I've gained about 12 or 13 pounds and it's killing me.  This is definitely the most I've gained so soon with any of my pregnancies.  My first two I only gained 12 pounds TOTAL!! My last I gained 20.  Of course, a healthy baby is the absolute most important thing.  Weight is inconsequential compared to that.

But that doesn't mean it's not hard to see the scale go up, and see my butt/thighs getting bigger.  My stomach isn't all that big.

This is me today, at one day shy of 20 weeks:

Ha, after saying that Kate looks at the picture and says, "WHOAH! YOUR STOMACH IS BIG!!!" :-P

Anyway, my butt and thighs... yeah, they are expanding.  And the cellulite is out of control. And it makes me want to cry. Because here's the kicker. I can't exercise.  Not even walk!

I have issues with my pelvis and back and SI joint.  I'm in physical therapy for it, and every week I go and she readjusts my pelvis to be back in alignment.  I also am starting pool therapy. Woo hoo. Not. Now is like, the worst time EVER to be in a bathing suit.  But I'll do it because my back pain is excruciating. So even walking aggravates it.  So, no walking videos, or even taking walks outside.  I'm hoping I can do SOMETHING in the pool, but I'm not sure when I'll even be able to go!

So basically, I'm kind of ballooning up like a heifer, and then in June/summertime I"m going to look like a deflated ballooned up heifer. ARGH!!! I really want to find some arm exercises and maybe some leg exercises that I can do.  Not sure about the leg thing, since it will affect my back.  But I guess what I'm saying is I kind of feel hopeless.  I feel like I'm destined to be fat and I know how hard it is to get the weight off. 

Does anyone have any tips or exercises I can try?  I've thought about cutting out carbs; at least all the white stuff.  Bread, rice, etc...  And I probably could do that, but I honestly don't feel like I eat all THAT much.  And I'm also TERRIFIED of having a big baby. Owen was my biggest baby and he was only 7 pounds and 4 ounces.  But I was literally dying in pain at the end.  So I feel like if I'm already gaining weight then I'm gonna have a big baby and I just can't handle that.  I'm not even sure if I can physically carry a big baby!

I have a short torso and my stomach doesn't stick out super far. So my babies are all under my rib cage, crushing my lungs and other organs. 

Also, Christian has eye surgery on Wednesday.  And although we have the best surgeon in the state who has been the ONLY one recommended to us by the pediatrician and eye therapist, I'm still nervous. I talked to a lady in the waiting room today and her son had the surgery last year.  She said to not be freaked if he cries BLOOD afterward, and the whites of his eyes will look like raw hamburger and be swollen over his irises. *cue light-headedness and vomiting*

Anyway, that's what's been on my mind lately.  Any tips/suggestions/encouragement/suck-it-up-girl-you're-pregnant peptalks are welcome!

We're having a...

Healthy!!!

Baby Girl!!

I am so over the moon right now.  I was really worried/had this deep-seated feeling that something was going to be wrong.  But everything looks good and baby is measuring right on track!

I will get the official report from the doctor on Tuesday, but the ultrasound tech said everything looks great! She had to try for a long time to get all the views of the heart, because Baby Girl is down really low and was facing down, not up.  So she was pushing the ultrasound wand really far into my belly, and had me get up and jump around a little to see if she would move. Nope, nada!  I think baby was sleeping though because the heart rate was only 120, which is fairly low. 

In any case, I am so excited that we're getting another girl and that Kate will have a sister!!  Hooray!

Send In Back Up

Hi Guys!
Ugh, I am SO SICK of being SICK!!!!!!!

Today I am sick again.  Actually, I've kinda been ill for the last 5 days or so.  Just feeling cruddy, nauseated, not sleeping well, etc.. I'm sure part of it has to do with the stress of getting ready for a wedding, the stress of wondering how I'm going to get through the day.  We have to be there at 8:30a.m. for pictures, the wedding doesn't start til noon and then we have a long reception after that. EEEKKKK!!!

It also hasn't been helping that Josh has had SO MANY meetings to go to.

Anyway, I'm not trying to complain, it's just the way it is.  I feel yuck and can't seem to shake it.  Today I have a bunch of people coming over to make cakeballs for the wedding.  Hoping I feel better before they get here.

In AWESOME news, my ultrasound is tomorrow!!! Can't wait to find out what we're having, and hopefully see a healthy baby!

Hope you're doing well; I'll check in again once we know the gender but then I may not post again til after the wedding is over and I've recuperated. ;-)

King Martin Day

The other day Christian informed me that today was King Martin Day, and he didn't have to go to school.  He also told me that King Martin ruled the world before Jesus did. :-D

We spent a little bit of time at dinner last night talking about Martin Luther King, Jr and what he did and stood for. It was so refreshing to see the kids with their wide-eyed innocence.  They simply could not comprehend why people would be forced to use different bathrooms or drinking fountains just because their skin was a different color.  I grew up in the deep south, and I must say my mom did a wonderful job because I've never understood racism either.  We are all PEOPLE.  God made us all.  Who cares what color our skin is?

Christian's teacher taught it in a very smart way, I think.  She said, "What if I just decided that anyone who had a different haircut than mine couldn't have recess today?" Well, that sure got everyone's attention cuz first of all it basically eliminated all the boys as her hair is shoulder length.  And most of the girls don't have gray hair, so, LOL. :) 

Anyway, I'm glad to raise my children to view everyone equally and I hope I can continue to instill empathy and compassion in them towards all their fellow men.

Today is a busy day for us! I have so many errands to run... birthday present shopping, baking 12 cakes for cakeballs for my brother's wedding, exchanging Kate's shoes and a pair of pants, taking Kate to the birthday party, bathing the stinky dog because the groomer got stuck in the snow (?? We have like one inch!) and can't do it til next week, then a lingerie shower tonight.

My ultrasound is Thursday, so that's super fun to look forward to! MB-I actually love the name Noelle, but since the baby will be born in June and not anywhere near Christmas it doesn't seem to fit.

I'm gonna go cuz I have lots to do AND because my computer is being wonky and keep deleting letters, skipping all over the page, deleting paragraphs and just generally being a pain.

Happy Monday!

Things are better

Hi all,
Thanks for your love and comments on my no good, horrible, very bad day the other day.  I ended up going to the hospital for IV fluids again.

I only got stuck twice, but she ended up putting the IV in my hand, which is a much smaller vein and makes the whole process take WAY longer. I was there from 11:15 to 3pm.  And I had forgotten to bring a book or anything, so I was soooo bored and antsy.  They gave me two different drugs for my headache, and while it helped right away initially (although it BURNED going in my IV!), by the time I left my headache was back and I was super weak and shaky. Most likely cuz I hadn't eaten all day.

So I went to bed at 5:30 and hoped I'd wake up the next day feeling better.  Wishful thinking. I woke up with another headache, but once I got up and moving around it got much better. We celebrated my niece's 2nd birthday at my house, and my family totally took care of everything! The house was cleaner when they left than when they arrived! So nice, and so very appreciated.

Today I am just laying around all day. I had a PT appt last night, and I'm glad I went because my pelvis was seriously crooked and made my back hurt super bad. So she straightened that and then massaged my lower back. It was so nice!

This weekend will be busy. The kids have a popcan drive that they are doing, I have to find my clothes and the kids shoes for the wedding (but I'll get to shop ALONE while they are at the can drive!), Kate has a birthday party to go to, etc...  But overall I'm feeling so much better.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

When it rains, it pours

Goodness.  I am not feeling well. At all.

I've had a really bad headache, bordering on migraine, for 3 days.  It hurts so bad I've been throwing up, which is causing me to be extremely dehydrated.  In addition, I've been under more stress than usual, which is manifesting itself by cold sores all over my lips.

This morning I've just cried and cried.  I am so tired, my head hurts so bad, my lips are cracked and peeling and stinging and burning from the cold sores.  My brother is getting married on the 21st and I don't want to have a mouth full of cold sores!!

The boys are being insane; fighting (like physically punching each other, which is so NOT allowed), screaming, crying.  Kate is having major attitude issues and from the time she gets home from school until she goes to bed, she is yelling, stomping her feet, crying that nothing in her life is fair.

Josh has been extra busy, which means he's been gone more often than usual.  He's had meetings or other commitments 3 out of the last 5 nights. (Stop laughing, Tereza, I know Rob is gone way more than that!) ;-)

I need to go grocery shopping in a major way.  We have bread and peanut butter and milk, and that really is basically it.  I need to take back some jeans I bought for Kate that don't fit and exchange them, and I have to do it by tomorrow.  The dog stinks and needs a bath.  Christian has a doc appt today in preparation for his surgery, and I have to get both kids out of school early in order to make it.  We need to go order glasses for Owen.  I need to find shoes for Kate and Owen for my brother's wedding, as well as something for me to wear.  The boys tracked mud all over the carpet yesterday that I need to clean up, and I also see now that they smeared mud on the couches.  Luckily they are leather and should wipe right off. I have no more shampoo or conditioner, so I used the kids body wash and now my hair is frizzy, dry and just generally a laughing stock.

Anyway, today I just feel totally and absolutely drained.  No reserve left. No energy.  I don't know how I'm going to accomplish everything that needs to be done.  I kind of just want to curl up into a ball and cry, and then sleep for several days straight.  :-P

I know this too shall pass, I know it's just a stage and most likely I'll feel 50% better, just getting fluids (which is happening today; I called the doctor crying and they are sending me in).  I guess maybe I just needed to get it all off my chest so I can breathe and move on.

In good news, my ultrasound is in 8 days!  My SIL who is due the week before me found out she's having a girl. :)  I really am so excited to find out who's in there, and will be so excited whether it's a boy or girl.  I have no clue anymore!

I hope you all have a good day, and I hope this post wasn't the Debbie Downer Post of the century. ;-)  I'll report back soon, and hopefully will be feeling much  better!

Pregnancy Pictures!

First of all, thank you so much for your prayers for Owen!  MB-Don't fret! I don't want to cause you anxiety or worry.  I did some research after a friend suggested something it could be.  After looking at lots of pictures online, it looks like he has something called Nummules Eczema.  I'm still waiting for OHSU to call and schedule the biopsy, although we did get the prior auth done.  So I'm hoping it's something as simple as a weird strain of eczema! I'll keep you posted for sure.

I took a couple pictures of myself, but they aren't good quality cuz I took them with my cell phone.

This is me at 17 weeks, in the morning:

But look at the difference by the end of the day!!

This is the next day, at night:

Holy Baby Belly, Batman!!

I need to go get some maternity shirts, but because I'm so short-waisted most of them are HUGE bags on me, and the smalls don't quite cover my expanding hips. :-P  All my weight has mostly gone to my bum and hips. Yay. Not.

Anyway, I'm feeling much better about Owen's weird skin thing, I'm enjoying the baby moving tons every day, only have 13 days til I find out if it's a girl or boy!!

Hope everyone is well!

Prayers, Please

Hi Friends,
I have a prayer request for you today, or if you're not the praying type, if you'd send good thoughts this way it would be greatly appreciated!

About 6 months ago I noticed a big blister on Owen's arm, near his elbow.  It popped and then came back at least once or twice.  There was no injury or anything, it just showed up.  Ever since then he's had a patch of weird, raised scaly skin at that spot.  At his 4  year check-up I asked the doctor about it.

His doctor had never seen anything like it, so he took a picture of it and sent it to the dermatologists at OHSU, one of the big hospitals in our area.  The dermatologists there looked at it and requested that two tests be done: a fungal swab and a bacterial swab.  We did both and today I got a call from the doctor himself.  He said both tests came back negative, and with that being the case the doctors at OHSU want us to come up so they can do a biopsy.

Of course my mind is jumping to the worst possible conclusion: Cancer.  I am so, so, so scared.  My heart is racing, my palms are sweaty and I can hardly breathe.  He is my baby! I can't lose him.  I just can't.

I know there could be lots of other explanations... I just don't know what they would be.  I am trying to calm myself, and remind myself that God is in control.  He always has been and He always will be.  But man alive, this is my little boy we're talking about!

So anyway, if you could send up a prayer for my Owen, that everything will be okay and it won't be anything serious, I'd be indebted to you forever and ever.  I'll be sure to update as soon as I can. OHSU will be calling me to schedule the biopsy and I'll let you know when it is.

Thanks so very much!

Happy New Year!

Hello Friends!

How are you doing? How was your New Year?  Mine was great!  I was in bed by 9:30, but not before doing tons of fun things with the kiddos. 

I never make resolutions.  I don't know if it's because I know by Jan 15th I'll have fallen off the wagon, or if I just care too little or what.  I don't have any HUGE changes I need to make, like quitting smoking or drinking or drugs. ;-)  Mostly I need to focus on being healthier; exercising however I can and making healthy choices.  But that's an ongoing work.

I had a very nice time with my husband while he was off from work, even though we got all of ONE project completed. :-P  I was just too sick and he was buys taking care of me, the kids and the house.  It's okay, there's still time for those projects.  Maybe that's what I'll resolve to do in 2012; get my house projects done. :-D

The kids started back to school today, and I have to say I am so glad.  They love it, they need that social interaction and stimulation of their brains.  And I'm glad for the routine to be back in place, and a designated nap time. ;-)  I love sleep.  It seems these days I simply can't get enough of it. 

All in all we're doing well.  As I sit here typing I can feel the little bean moving around in my belly.  I never get tired of feeling those movements!! My ultrasound is in 16 days; so excited to find out what we're having and to see if everything is healthy.  Then two days after that my brother gets married!!  Fun times ahead. :)

There are some days where I can't believe I'm really pregnant, and just sit in wonder that I get to experience this again.  I really didn't think I'd be able to have more kiddos after Owen.  So to be pregnant and feeling the baby is a dream come true.  It's all so exciting! I started a wishlist on Amazon, because we have zero baby things left.  I gave them all away, thinking I'd never need them again.  It's so fun to think about all the tiny baby things!  And once I find out the gender, the shopping will well and truly begin. :-D

Anyway, it's been a fun and full holiday season, and now I can tell I need to rest up and take it easy.  I'm super dehydrated, despite my efforts to stay hydrated.  I have to give blood on Thursday for routine bloodwork and I'm nervous that A) they won't be able to get a vein and B) that I'll faint again!  I also start my physical therapy again this week AND have Owen's appointment with the eye specialist.  So I need to be very careful to eat well, drink lots and get my rest.

I hope you all had a wonderful New Years!