Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Sick and Tired

Bleh. I'm really tired. And on the verge of getting sick. I was up way past my bedtime last night. Although I did have lots of fun; 3 girls came over to do their taxes, and the 4 of us are pretty hilarious, if I do say so myself. Especially when we're all so tired that it causes us to act intoxicated. ;-)

My weight was up a little today, and you know what? I'm so incredibly tired of wrestling with my weight. I will keep my eye on it, but no more fasting for me. It's draining what little emotional and physical energy I have left. I am so TIRED of fighting with my weight. It will go up and then down, and I think that's normal and I'm just going to be okay with it.

Life is too short to obsess over the scale. I'm so incredibly thankful that I have managed to lose these 35ish pounds. I would love to lose the last 12ish pounds. But for now, I'm perfectly content right where I am. My pants are loose and my other clothes fit well. I can put them on and forget about what I look like the rest of the day. That's what I've always wanted; to just be comfortable in my own skin.

I think there will be a time, a few months from now, where I'll be ready to finish this journey once and for all, and I'll do my last round of HCG. But for now, I'm good. Also, my friend Jen pointed out... Every. Single. Time I've done HCG I have a major, major hormonal/emotional crash afterward. Like, epic. Like, I need to take two Xanax a day just to function. It lasts a week and then I'm good again. And even my hormone drops from Dr. Ray just can't touch it. So if I do decide to do that last round, this is something I will have to be very consciously aware of.

I'm taking it easy today and working on getting in enough water. I'm also working on getting enough protein.

I hope you're all doing well!

1 comment:

  1. I thought you looked beautiful at the wedding and like you dont even actually need to loose more weight....but I know how you feel...because people tell me the same thing and I'm like yeah but I have 20 extra pounds on me!
    Life IS pretty darn short.....I want to enjoy it...I cant enjoy it too big to move and wear normal and stylish clothes....but neither can I enjoy it if I am always afraid of my weight and how I look or think I look...
    So anyways...I was thinking along these lines today..and then I saw your post.