Finishing what I start

Good Morning!

I lost a pound today, despite eating a handful of popcorn yesterday. Yep, you read that right. I totally ate a handful of homemade popcorn yesterday.

This diet is NOT for people who have an active social life that involves food. In the last week I have taken my food to a friend's house no less than 4 times. It makes me feel like a persnickety, over the top, extreme dieter. I mean, our family is invited for dinner and I show up with my own food in a little baggie? EMBARRASSING!!!!

But I had to. It wasn't like I was on a "normal" diet and could have taken smaller portions of just certain items. I have to eat my weighed, fat free, no oils added chicken and vegetables.

It got to be a little too much, which is why I had a handful of popcorn yesterday. I was so tired of having to tell people I'm on a diet and therefore I can't have such and such.

My grandparents came up to visit us yesterday and we went to Applebee's. And I had to sneak in my chicken and fat free salad dressing. Luckily they offer a salad and steamed veggies combo, so I ordered that and didn't mess with my chicken and dressing. But still. Everyone was all, "Here, have a mozzarella stick!" And they had no idea I wanted to cram every single one of those deliciously cheesy, fried sticks in my mouth. But no. I had to, once again, be the girl on the diet.

I guess I don't like being the girl on the diet. It's so stereotypical. I've never dieted before. Ever. This time in my life (the last 6 months or so) are the first time I've had to actually WORK to lose weight, besides one stint of Weight Watchers I did shortly after Owen was born.

It's hard. I don't like it. But I will finish what I start. Losing that pound today was a BIG help. I was losing my motivation and sliding down the slippery slope to throwing the towel in yesterday. But I have renewed determination today.

The thing is, I still feel hungry. Not "my stomach is eating itself I'm so hungry" levels anymore, but I definitely still have an appetite. I have never lost the urge for food, as some of the people on this diet have experienced. So it's a daily struggle to eat my apple, chicken and broccoli, apple, chicken and asparagus each day. And nothing more. It's a good lesson in self-control, but it has only gotten marginally easier.

Don't get me wrong. The diet has been successful. I'm down 11 pounds in 15 days. I will do at least one more round when my 3 weeks maintenance are up. This will be the method I use to get back to 130 before I start using the gym to tone and get in shape. But it's not all sunshine and roses. I thought I'd be losing a pound a day or every other day, and it hasn't been that way. There have been more days than not that I lose only a few ounces. So the motivation and excitement I expected to carry me through hasn't been there like I thought it would.

I feel good today. I'm wearing jeans that, according to my husband, make my bum look good. I am smaller, I can see it in the mirror. I don't feel a huge difference in my clothes, but there is a slight difference. My size 14's are not going to stay up much longer. Already when I walk they start sliding right off. There's a good 2-3 inch gap between the waist band and my stomach. So that is encouraging and exciting. :0)

Anyway, I have a house to put back together after having guests the last 5 days. It will be a good distraction from food. ;-)

Happy Wednesday!