Monday, March 7, 2011

You're so vain... you probably think this song is about you...

Help.

I don't want to be narcissistic. I really don't. But I'm floundering here.

I hate to even admit it because it seems so incredibly petty and selfish and egotistical. But it is what it is.

I have really lost my motivation for blogging. In a major way. In case you haven't noticed. :-P And the reason is because I hardly get any comments. *hangs head in shame*

I feel so dumb even admitting that. I mean, what am I, four years old??? But it's the truth. It feels like no one is reading if there are no comments, and what's the point of that? I blog for the feedback and the encouragement, just knowing there are others out there going through the same stuff. Or maybe not going through the same stuff, but still willing to listen to my stuff. ;-)

But then, if I'm being honest, I have to admit that I read TONS of blogs and don't comment on the majority of them, even though I honestly enjoy what I read. Which would make me a narcissistic hypocrite. EEEKK!!

I really, really appreciate those of you who do take the time to comment; it makes my day and I feel valued and heard. Which is maybe not right. Something I have to delve into further.

In any case, not much is happening in my diet right now anyway. I'm struggling. I haven't weighed since last Monday, and I'm afraid to. I want to do better, I need to do better, I should do better. I need to figure out a healthy outlet, a healthy routine, something I can stick to.

But so far, I haven't succeeded. It's been too much on top of other things. In the last week a friend of the family and an acquaintance from church have died. One was completely unexpected and the other was a young girl who died of cancer. And that makes me hug my kids tighter and thank the good lord above that my children are healthy! And it also reminds me that my weight is NOT the most important thing.

But then THAT leads me to slack off and then I feel gross and unhealthy. So I'm definitely working on finding a balance.

Anyway, if you managed to read this and not be totally disgusted with my blatant plea for comments ;-), I appreciate it. I think I'm in a slump and I'm working to get out. And I do plan to continue blogging for now. At least to have SOME sort of accountability.

I hope you have a good Monday. The sun is shining here and wow is it nice!!!!!!!

6 comments:

  1. :)I'm always reading:) Did you know you can check your stats on the blog and see how many pageviews you've had? So even if people dont comment you know there are readers.
    It's nice to feel heard...but either way we havea good life! Enjoy your sunny day! See you on the weekend friend!

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  2. Just like you mentioned I read so many blogs and probably comment on 5% of them which is just awful. I know people put so much effort into blog posts but I wouldn't have enough time in the day to comment on every one. I feel with so many of them, yours included, that it is like an email from a friend telling me about their day. So even when you feel you have nothing to blog about just saying that, feels like a, hi MaryBeth, how are you, guess what I did today. So please keep it up we are here and we are reading! xo, MB

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  3. I read you. ALL THE TIME! But I try to limit my comments, because well, we ALL know I'm so shy I just have to push myself to make myself known! :)
    Do what you have grace to do.

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  4. SILLY lady ;)
    You know I read EVERY post and LOVE to read your posts, but YES! I know it makes it so much more fun to get comments....In any case, I desperately hope you continue to blog, if it fits...I know some days there just is not time.
    Anyhow, Hope you have an awesome day.
    Love, Jen

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  5. RA - keep at the fight!!!! Don't let a lack of motivation get you on the wrong food path. I KNOW you want to keep your weight off and to stay healthy to keep up with that house full of kids. You can do it...

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  6. Just wanted to send another comment to you before I shut off the computer for the night, please keep the blog going, I really enjoy it! xo, MB

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