Update

So HCG was going really well... until Christmas Eve.  I held out all day.  Didn't indulge in the feast put on by our friends.  But you know what brought me down? A doughnut.  I LOVE DOUGHNUTS.  It's ridiculous how much I love them, really.  So I ate a mini doughnut.  And then one more.  And then had 2 fancy Norwegian almond cookies.  And then I decided I was going to give myself Christmas Day to just eat what I wanted.

So I did. I didn't go hog wild or anything, but I did eat lots of good food.  I planned to go right back on HCG the day after Christmas.  I tried.  And I failed.  I ended up really overdoing it.  And again the next day.  For two days I was fine all day, then would get absolutely ravenous at night and I would eat.  And eat.  And eat.  It wasn't pretty.

I gained 1.8 back.  Today is my second successful day back on program.  I lost 1.6 this morning. 

So I'm still here, and I'm back in the saddle. ;-)

We will be on vacation for the next week, so posting will be sporadic. 

Hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!

Slowly

I lost 2 more pounds today, and I'm very happy with that.  We were at a holiday party last night and although I stuck to fruit, the only options were pineapple, grapes and cantaloupe, which I don't think are technically allowed.

I also drank some ginger ale.

That weight loss was also before I nursed Nora, so it may be slightly more, but I'm grateful for the 2 pounds. :)

On the way down

I lost 2.4 today, which I'm happy about. 

I was really, really hungry last night but I didn't cheat.  I ate my orange, I drank some tea.  I found this kind that tastes like apple cider:

Today I've made 3 batches of different flavored scones, gingerbreadmen cookies, macaroni and cheese with NO cheating and haven't had ANY coffee.  Consider me impressed.  With myself.  ;-)

Day One: Low Calorie

Hi Friends,
Today I start the low calorie portion of the HCG diet.  So far it's gone very well.  It's 1:45 in the afternoon and I haven't felt deprived or hungry. 

I had a cup of coffee with 1T creamer this morning, then ate some Italian seasoned chicken and cucumber sprinkled with salt for a late lunch.  I've also been drinking a lot of lemon water, and I've actually been enjoying it.

I'm giving myself a little freedom with the diet, since I'm trying to maintain my milk supply, and if it works I will continue to allow myself to have 1 cup of coffee a day with creamer.  I also plan to up my protein if necessary, and cut out one of the fruits/veggies if needed. 

I didn't actually gain that much weight from my binge days, despite eating a TON of fatty, high calorie foods.  A huge burger from Red Robin, Butterbraid, candy, fries, etc... 

We'll see what the scale has to say tomorrow.  I've set my goal weight lower than the weight I was at when I got pregnant with Nora.  I may stop before I get there, if I feel good about where I'm at.

I'll try to post every day with the weigh-in information, at least.

For now, I'm off to nap with my kiddies.  They are all home from school and we had a late night last night.

Life

Oh guys.

The shootings in Connecticut... there are no words.  I saw this today and had to re-post it.  I love it.  Mostly because, I believe it's true.  Those children are up in Heaven, dancing and laughing and not in any pain.  I will continue to pray for all the mothers, fathers, siblings, grandparents, left behind.  I can't even fathom their grief.

Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38 when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.

their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air, they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there

They were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.

"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse. "this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
 
 When what to their wondering eyes did appear, but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.

He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same. then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring those children all flew into the arms of their King

and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace, one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.

And as if He could read all the questions she had He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."

then He looked down on earth, the world far below He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe

then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand, "Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"

"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools" "I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"

Then He and the children stood up without a sound. "come now my children, let me show you around."

Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran. all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

And i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight, "in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

written by Cameo Smith of Mt. Wolf, PA.

Isn't that beautiful!?

In other news... weight loss.  Or gain, as the case may be.  I tried the ViSalus.  I think if I wasn't nursing and had time to concentrate on doing it right, it would totally work.  As it is, I didn't treat it as a meal replacement, which is what it is intended as.  So I never lost weight.

After a lot of thought and prayer, I've decided to do HCG.

I'm still nursing Nora, and I will continue to do so on the diet.  My research indicates that it's safe, and I plan to drink a lot of water and perhaps up the protein I'm eating.  My milk is starting to dwindle on it's own, and I did what I knew to increase it:  I made a Hungarian booster recipe (made of milk, eggs, flour and sugar... drank it and THEN remembered Nora is lactose intolerant.  I may be stupid.  Or sleep deprived).  So the booster didn't go over so well because even though I took lots of Lactaid pills with it, she still got an upset tummy.

I've been pumping and nursing, cutting out oatmeal and always nursing before feeding her fruits/veggies.  I haven't seen a dramatic difference.  Nora seems to be weaning because the few bottles she DOES get, she likes a whole lot better than my boob. :-/

So, it will be interesting, and I'm not giving up easily.  Women nurse while pregnant, and of course the HCG hormone is present during pregnancy.  The amount I will be taking is miniscule compared to what the body produces while growing a baby.  Also, women in Africa and other third world countries are able to nurse with a severely restricted calorie diet.

We'll see how it goes.  When I first decided to do HCG and thought about giving up nursing, I was consumed with grief.  So I prayed, and decided to do everything I knew to do to up my milk supply.  And now I'm giving it to God.

Moving on...

 

We all have something to be thankful for, no?  I mean, we could use our butts as a shelf for our children to stand on.

I started the "binging days" yesterday. In the past I've been afraid of gaining even MORE weight and haven't binged properly.  This time, I threw caution to the wind and I am ingesting calories like a madwoman.  I had a chicken pot pie for lunch that was 630 calories and had 35 grams of fat. :-O  Readily available on the shelves of the grocery store.  And we wonder why America is obese.

Tomorrow I start the low-calorie portion.  Honestly? I haven't weighed myself.  The numbers on the scale are so staggeringly high that it's shocking/frightening/depressing.  I didn't realize it, but I've totally been avoiding mirrors.  Twice in the last week I caught sight of myself in the mirror.  And Good Lord Almighty, I did not even recognize myself.  My mouth literally dropped open and I just stared at the image that was reflected back at me.  I can't believe it's me.  I can't believe I actually look like this.  It's absolutely daunting, thinking about losing a large amount of weight.

This will be my motto.  Because it's not okay to remain where I am. My back hurts.  I'm embarrassed. I'm self-conscious.  I don't want to leave my house.  Or my pajamas.  

 I will definitely be blogging more frequently.  I need to keep myself accountable.  If you read, and have time, please leave me a comment.  You don't know how much it helps to know that people are following along with me, encouraging me.  

I can not wait to feel healthy again. I can't weight to lose this burden of heaviness that is with me at all times.  In the meantime, I am also going to work on turning to God instead of food.  I think, for me at least, this is just as much a spiritual journey as it is a physical one.  I need to trust in God, lean on Him, run to Him and His Word for comfort/advice/guidance.

I will weigh in tomorrow (YIKES!!!!!) and then update my ticker and begin posting my losses.  I'm contemplating taking pictures of the scale again, but although it's totally shallow, I'm afraid to admit my real weight. So I may just do a generic "XX lost" instead.  

I hope you're all having a wonderful holiday season.  The kids are out of school for several weeks... So I may be making one of these: 

 

*DISCLAIMER: These are not my children*

I also have plans to drastically reduce the amount of screen time my kids have.  They are turning into electronic junkies, between the TV, Wii, Computer and phones.  They are forgetting how to PLAY.  So we will be doing activities, playing board games, reading, etc...  I kinda wish we had a chair like this to curl up and read together in:

We went to the library and they all got books they are interested in.  Kate is reading the Clementine series, Christian got books on Cheetahs and Owen got whatever books I picked out for him, namely a Gingerbread Mouse book (with a recipe for gingerbread cookies that we are making today) and a book on the history of hot dogs. :-D

Here's to losing weight, being healthy and happy, and loving on the people around us!

 All images via Pinterest

Still Here

Hi Guys-
Sorry for the extreme lack of posting.  Life is busy and I am really trying to figure out a good lifestyle as far as eating healthy and not stressing out.

I am doing the ViSalus.  I haven't managed to get two shakes in a day.  Usually I have one for breakfast, and then go, go, go all afternoon, skipping lunch, eat dinner and then SNACK after the kids are in bed.  Obviously not the best game plan.

My friend Christan has been coaching me and giving me encouragement with sticking to the program.  I have never understood or realized how extremely important it is to have a mentor of sorts.

She gives me just the right amount of encouragement and kick in the pants to stay with it and not give up.  She reminds me of things I know but tend to forget, like the fact that my past history is that it's extremely difficult to lose weight while nursing.  She reminds me to set SMALL goals, so that I can actually make them, instead of setting lofty goals and failing.

So for now, these are my goals:

1) Drink 2 shakes a day.  Mix them up beforehand if need be.  Eat a small, healthy snack after each shake.
2) Drink 40 ounces of water a day.
3) Eat a healthy dinner.  Allow myself one SMALL snack at night. No grazing, binging, or eating if I'm not hungry.

That's it, for now.  I desperately want to try to add in some exercise somehow.  I think I may just try to do the walking DVD I have.  I can do it at home, it's around 20 minutes long, and I can modify it so I can complete it in my current VERY out-of-shape state.

"No one is useless in this world, who lightens the burden of it for any one else." Charles Dickens

Let the Fat Fight Begin!

Hello Mateys!

How are you? How was your Thanksgiving? Mine was fabulous! We hosted this year and it was very laid back and fun and just all around great.  :)  I made a turkey and didn't burn down the house! WOOT! ;-)

Today is the day I'm getting serious about losing the weight.  I have recently gained a lot of weight back.  Like, 7 or 8 pounds.  I'm not sure why; I'm looking into whether or not it's the Zoloft causing it.  In any case, I am feeling very claustrophobic in my own body, so something has to change, and soon.

I have to learn to be content and not envy/hate people who bounce back after having a baby.  Like Anna Paquin. HELLO?? Less than 2 months after having twins???

 

They were born a few weeks early, but still.  

I've been thinking a lot about self-control.  I have a whole post I want to do on it, and I will, a little later.  But basically, there is no magic cure.  *I* have to take control of my eating habits, of my exercise habits and of my health.

Isn't that a great quote?  I love it.  Because it's so true.  I just have to DO IT.  No more excuses, no more whining, no more pity-parties that my body doesn't melt fat through breastfeeding. It is what it is.  And I just have to take it and work with it, and do something about it.  Baby steps.  One day at a time. 

I haven't been super faithful to drink my ViSalus shakes twice a day as a meal replacement, like you're supposed to, so today that changes.  I got a long list of recipes to try, and I'll be experimenting with different flavors to help keep it fun and not boring.  I also have a challenge for myself, which I'll post about tomorrow.

In the meantime, I will be working on self-control.  

ViSalus

Hey there!
Today I'd like to talk about ViSalus.  Here is their official website link: www.visalus.com

I heard about it from my sister-in-law, and then I also have a friend I've known for 5 years who sells it.  At first, I was very, very skeptical.  I'll be honest, there are a lot of negative reviews online.

Luckily, I had a real life person I could talk to, my friend Christan.  She is VERY health conscious.  Her sons have some severe food allergies, and she is very picky about what they eat, with regard to food dyes and she tries to feed them as organically as possible.  So I trust her judgement and opinion.

Basically, you take the ViSalus shakes twice a day, as a meal replacement.  I asked if it was okay to do this type of diet while nursing, and it is, as long as I add in some snacks so I don't have too huge of a calorie deficit.  Nutritionally, the shakes are very sound and packed with chelated vitamins.  I didn't fully understand what that meant, so I did what any person in the 21st century would do... I googled.  :-D

And here is the simplest answer I came up with: it's when they bond a mineral with another element to make it easier to break down and absorb into the bloodstream.

This is totally starting to sound like a paid presentation.  I promise, it's not.  I'm not being compensated or anything, but I am blogging about it because I seriously hopes it's the weight loss answer I need.

As you know, in the past when I've had a significant amount of weight to lose, I've turned to HCG.  And it worked.  And I kept the weight off.  But since I'm nursing Nora, HCG isn't an option.  And, honestly? I don't think I'll ever be able to do HCG again.  I honestly don't know how I managed to do so many rounds of it before.  It's just SO restrictive.  I had fallen into a pit of despair over my weight.  It was a constant shroud around my shoulders, this black cloud of stress and hopelessness.  I'm the highest I've ever been, not pregnant.  I went into my pregnancy with Nora expecting to not gain more than 20 pounds, as I hadn't ever gained more than that in my 3 previous pregnancies.  And I started out the lowest weight of all of them.  So I figured I'd be back to my pre-pregnancy weight in no time!

HA.

I gained double that.  40 pounds.  FORTY.  And after having the baby I only have lost 10.  *SAD FACE*  So that means I've got a good 30-35 pounds to lose.

Now, I know there are some LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY women who burn through calories like crazy and drop weight faster than you can say "breastfeeding is a miracle cure"! But.  I am not one of those women.  In fact, I'm the opposite.  I don't lose weight until I stop nursing.  And I'm not willing to stop nursing this little beauty until she's good and ready.

 So ANYWAAAAAAY...

Long story short, (ok, it's not that short) ViSalus is the spring in my step.  The wind beneath my wings.  My pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  At least, I hope it is!!!

Christan said that she started drinking the shakes for the nutrition.  She is naturally very thin and didn't need to lose weight.  However, she did lose a pants size.  And she wasn't even "dieting" or restricting calories.  So I have high hopes that the shakes are the answer I'm looking for.

I got a free sample of the shake mix.  It's Sweet Cream flavored.  I mixed it with a banana, spoonful of peanut butter, unsweetened vanilla almond milk and chia seeds.  AND OH MY GOODNESS.  It was delicious.  So good.

I am currently stalking my front porch waiting for my shipment to arrive.  I plan to blog regularly about how it's working for me.  I'm going to erase and start over with my weight loss ticker at the top, and on my side bar. 

***Here is where it gets to be semi-paid-productiony***  The shakes are $99 a month.  $109 with shipping.  But for me, totally worth it, as long as I can make it work.  Which remains to be seen.  But if it works, I WILL find a way to keep ordering it.  If I get 3 people to order it every month, then mine is free.  So if it works as well as I hope it does, then I will start trying to recruit others.  (I'm looking at you MB, even though I don't really believe you need to lose weight!!) Because guess what? We can make the shake taste like REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!! Chocolate almond milk, spoonful of peanut butter, shake mix, BAM.  PB Cup weight-loss shake. Packed with vitamins and nutrients.  *Mind Blown*  (And I really won't ever, ever pressure you into buying anything.  Pinky swear, cross my heart).

So anyway, that's the newest thing over here.  I'm really excited, and keeping my fingers crossed that it isn't too good to be true.

MaryBeth-I think you need to start a blog and just write about your life!!!  I'd totally read it.  I didn't know your birthday was in November too! We really are long lost friends. 

Still Here

Hi Guys!
I'm still here, despite the serious lack of posting around here.  I've been busy and well, haven't been losing weight so not really sure what to post.

Isn't that the truth?! It's like a constant war on the inside.  Lose weight... Eat...

I did buy some rice protein powder and apple cider vinegar "with the Mother".

I have no idea what "with the Mother" means, but apparently if you take 1tsp of it twice a day, it speeds up your metabolism and helps you lose weight.  I was taking it regularly (it's disgusting, by the way) but then it started burning my stomach and I wasn't sure if it affected my milk supply.  So I stopped.  I need to find a concrete answer on whether or not it's ok to take while nursing.

The rice protein powder is great.  I make it into shakes with almond milk, a banana, a spoonful of peanut butter, and a handful of walnuts.  It's pretty good, but is chalky.  I don't mind it, though.  I just have to make sure I have time to blend it up.

I need to get back on the WW wagon. I just got an iPhone, so I can download the WW app.  That'll help since I'll be able to look up points and track points when I'm away from my computer.  My desire to lose weight is really super strong, but then evening comes and I'm tired and stressed and I just want to eat.  But then I see pictures of myself and I just want to cry.  Or crawl into a hole. 

MaryBeth-Your idea of being put into a coma and fed through an IV for a couple weeks until the weight falls off is genius!!  I so wish I could do that.  Losing weight is HARD WORK.

I'm going to try to post regularly, and weigh once a week again, to keep myself accountable.  My brother-in-law is getting married in March and I want to be down to my pre-pregnancy weight by then.  Or close, if possible.  This is what I looked like the day I found out I was pregnant with Nora:

 

Ohhhhh how I long to be that thin again!!!!

Anyway, it's a work in progress.  I need to be disciplined and JUST DO IT.  

I'll leave you with a family pic we recently took, as well as this sweet shot of Nora who is 5 months old already!!!

 

Recipe to try

Hi Friends!
How are you all? I'm doing okay. I still haven't worked up the courage to step on the scale.  However, my monthly cycle did start, and a lot of the bloat/water retention has gone down, so maybe it won't be so bad.  I'll weigh in on Friday and see where I'm at.

I saw this recipe on Pinterest and I'm going to try it.

Baked Oatmeal Muffins

I'm just linking directly to her blog because she has a big warning that the post/pictures can't be used for other people's blogs. I hope I don't end up having to go to jail or anything.

Anyway, the recipe looks really good, and I'm hoping my kids will like them too.  Morning time is very hectic around here and getting the kids to eat something nutritious, healthy and filling can be quite the challenge.

I went to the store and stocked up on my WW friendly snacks.  Sugar free jello and pudding, light string cheese, reduced fat wheat thins, fat free cottage cheese, etc...

I need to get back on track.  But honestly, I just feel so overwhelmed by the whole thing right now.  Sleep is hard to come by, the kids are all out of sorts, the weather has changed, which in turn is causing my headaches/migraines to flair up a bit.  I really do need to work on eating more healthy though.

Lately my diet has consisted of a lot of coffee and chocolate.

I want to go to the big bulk store and get some chai powder so I can mix up my routine and have chai instead of coffee all the time.

Anyway, not much else going on over here.

MB-Thanks for being such a faithful reader. :) I wish we lived closer and could meet in real life.  And I think the fall weather makes women go nuts and start baking/eating feverishly.  At least, that's what happens to me!

Ruff

Has it really been 11 days since I last blogged??? Things have been so crazy hectic around here.

Kids have been sick, sleep has been non-existent, baby has been fussy, house has been messy and mama has been STRESSED.

It seems like everything kind of snowballed at once.  One by one the kids got some kind of stomach virus that ended with them throwing up multiple times.  Nora has thrush and I don't know what all else going on, because my normally sweet and mild mannered baby girl has been ANGRY. 

I haven't been to bed before midnight all week, and I just can't function like that. 

So, needless to say, my WW has kind of taken a back seat.  I need to get back on it.  I noticed that as much as I hate it, I really do have to buy all the processed, pre-packaged food that I know the points of.  Otherwise I tend to just not eat... all day.... until the doo hits the fan in the afternoon and then I'm like a crazy wild woman shoving food in my mouth.

I've seriously contemplated shutting my blog down because it's just another layer of stress for me right now.  Not that anyone besides MaryBeth, my family and my friends read it, but I always have this dull nagging voice in my head telling me to post and update, but there's not really anything to say.  I'm currently holding steady with my weight-not going up or down. But I desperately want it to go down.  So I need to prepare and organize myself to get back on the WW train and do it diligently.

I didn't weigh today, but I will weigh tomorrow and log that into WW and begin again.  I'm not giving up, and I will be back to my pre-pregnancy size.  I just don't know how long it will take, but I'm not satisfied to just stay where I'm at.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Weigh In and helpful hints

So, I gained a pound.  Not too too horrible in the whole scheme of things.  The way I ate last week should have resulted in a much higher gain.  I was kind of out of control.  But this week I feel more in control, my determination is back, I feel like "I can do this!"

So here's to keeping on, slow and steady. :)

I have a good friend who is doing WW with me, and we're perfect partners.  Neither of us takes it too seriously, but at the same time we don't excuse each other/ourselves from doing what we're supposed to.

Now, on to the helpful hints. :-D

*Wash out your coffee pot after every use.  The oils from the coffee build up on the carafe and get bitter/rancid.  Washing with soap and water gets rid of the residue.

*Sprinkle a little salt over your coffee grounds to make it more smooth and less bitter. I also add a little cinnamon to the grounds and it makes it really yummy.

*You can take any boxed cake mix and combine it with a 15oz can of pureed pumpkin and it makes great muffins or cakes.  No oil, water or egg needed.  Just the mix and the pumpkin.  This week I took a Swiss Chocolate cake mix and combined it with fresh raspberry puree and made muffins that are pretty good.

*You can wash your hair with baking soda and vinegar, and it makes it kind of beach-wavy.  It also strips any residue build up that your shampoo/conditioner may have left behind. True story.

Happy Monday!

Flunking

I'm failing, guys.

Well, I failed over the weekend, anyway.  I was all hyped up to be super good, too.  Saturday I was supposed to go help work at our church property, but then Josh ended up having to be in a meeting and wasn't available to help me with the kiddos + niece.  So I didn't go because the kiddos were... spirited. ;-)

And I was stressed.  And I ate.  I can't even remember what, but I ate and didn't track points.  Sunday was the same story.  I don't know why.  I couldn't be bothered to care.

I'm back on track today, although I *need* to go grocery shopping.  I'm eating more fruits and vegetables, and they disappear so fast! And I really, really need to find more recipes and branch out.  I tend to eat the same things over and over and it's not particularly healthy even.  Reduced fat cheese sticks and wheat thins.  Bananas.  Apples.  Sometimes slices of turkey with mustard.  Oatmeal.  But overall I need to eat more veggies/salads. 

Today I have a massive headache and I'm pretty sure it's from the crap food I've been eating.  That, and lack of sleep.  Miss Nora has been up a LOT lately, and I just figured out today that I think she has thrush. 

Anyway, I'm back on track today and will be happy if I haven't gained this week.

Weigh In

Hey guys.  So this week I lost 1.8 pounds.  I've noticed that it makes a big difference whether or not I've nursed Nora right before weigh in... Like, if I had nursed her I'd probably be down 2.4 pounds again.  But I'm just going to record 1.8 and be thankful for it. :)

Yesterday I definitely had a fall on my face moment. I ate cookie dough. Lots of it.  It was a stressful day and I have no other excuse.  And the truth? I loved every bite of it. ;-) 

Anyway, we have a busy weekend ahead of us and it's going to be harder to keep track of my points because we'll be eating food prepared by other people, so I don't know what goes into it and how many points to assign it.  I guess it'll all come out in the wash, though.

Happy Friday!

Perspective

***EXCUSE THE CRAZY FORMATTING. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED***

My mom left this comment on my last post:

Good for you!!! do you realize that 2 pounds a week is 8 pounds a MONTH? of slow, steady, stabilizing weight loss? So by February when the bathing suits are starting to make their appearance you will be down 40 pounds!

That was a really good reminder for me!  It can feel like it's going to take FOR-EV-ER to lose weight, when you have a fairly significant amount to lose.  But if you just keep plugging away, it WILL come off.

I am actually pretty happy with my weight-loss so far, and hope I can continue to lose around 2 pounds a week.

One thing I really need to step up on is my water intake.  I've been horrible about it lately, and have been mainly drinking coffee and Diet Dr. Pepper. EEEEKKKK!  So one of my goals for this week is to drink 70oz of water a day.  Crystal Light came out with a new product:

Instead of being sweetened with aspartame, it's sweetened with Truvia, which is a natural derivative of the stevia plant.  I tried the lemonade flavor and wasn't super impressed, but I also have the mixed berry.  I think they'd taste better if I mixed it with some flavored carbonated water, like maybe Tangerine Talking Rain.

Anyway, that's what's up with me.  We'll see what my weigh-in says on Friday!

Slow and Steady!

Down another 2.4 pounds.  I'll take it. :)

Un-Weigh In and Nora Pictures

So the kiddos woke up with a vengeance this morning.  It was like they were on speed. While drinking Mountain Dew. And eating handfuls of sugar.  It was intense.  So I drank some coffee and ate a banana before I realized I was supposed to weigh in today.  I'll do it tomorrow instead. :)

Here are some pictures of my sweetcheeks, Nora Kristine:

My new favorite snack

So I saw these at the store and decided to try them:

They are SO GOOD. Basically they are almonds dusted with chocolate powder.

There is just a hint of sweet chocolate, mixed with the crunch of the almond.  I love them.  But, they are 4 points for 1/4 cup so I have to eat them sparingly.

My other favorite snacks are sugar free jello (0 points) and wheat thins with cheese sticks (4 points for the wheat thins, 4 points for 2 cheese sticks.  I need to check into getting the reduced fat option for both of them.)

WW is still going great so far!  I'm excited to see more weight loss on Friday and have been able to stay on track fairly easily.  Last night we went out to dinner at The Best Little Roadhouse, which is like a BBQ place.  I couldn't find any of their nutrition info online, and pretty much everything there is fried. I got a burger and fries, and have absolutely NO idea how many points it is, so I just assigned it 40 points. 

How are you guys doing?  Are you ready for summer to wind down and fall to get here? I am kind of torn. I love the sunshine and the heat, but can't wait to break out my fall candles and decorations.  Of course, with the rainy, chilly weather I get tempted to bake which may not be such a good idea when I'm trying to lose weight. ;-)  Guess I'll just have to find some WW-friendly recipes!

Stay tuned; later this week I'm going to post some pics of Miss Nora! She is getting so big and is SO MUCH FUN.  Such a sweet, happy little girl.  :)

Week One Weigh In

So, I lost 2.4 pounds this week.  I was a little disappointed at first.  I was hoping for 3-4 pounds, since I have so much to lose.  But I guess I *am* nursing, so I will take it and be thankful. :)

So far WW is going really, really well for me.  Because I'm nursing I get extra points, and it's more than enough.  Almost every day I have a few left over, which is good because I can't measure exactly how much cream the coffee shop adds to my coffee, you know?  So there's a little bit of a buffer.

I do need to research some more meal and snack ideas.  I also want to try this recipe for Detox Water:


Ingredients:
2 lemons
1/2 cucumber
10-12 mint leaves
3 quarts water
Prep Time: 5 minutes
Chill Time: Overnight or 8 hours
Yields: 10-12 glasses
Method:
1. Slice cucumber and lemons.  Place in the bottom of the pitcher.   Toss in mint leaves. Add water
2. Chill overnight or for at least 8 hours. 

I need to get the ingredients at the store, and hopefully I can do that this weekend.

So far, so good!

What Jessica Simpson and I have in common...

I joined Weight Watchers.

Even though I had "a plan", I was worried that I wouldn't know exactly how to implement it.  I worried that I'd eat too many calories.  It's so much easier for me to let someone else do all the work, and I just do what they say.

So hopefully I'll see steady, continuous losses. Jessica Simpson has reportedly lost 40 pounds in 4ish months, which is pretty awesome.  I'm not setting a date that I want to be at goal by.  I'm focusing more on smaller goals. 

I'm excited about it, and hope it works! 

If you have any tips or WW meal/snack ideas let me know!

Workout Sucess

Today I did my work out for the first time.

I only managed 10 minutes on the elliptical, but I did all the rest of my exercises.

I'm pooped and sweaty.  I'm tempted to feel pathetic that such little physical exertion can wear me out so quickly. BUT, I have to start somewhere, and this is where I'm starting.

On the plus side, Miss Nora thinks my workouts are FABULOUS. ;-)

 

This wasn't taken this morning, but it's how big she was smiling at me. :)

Week One: The Plan

Hey Everybody!
So, here we are.  School starts soon and I'll have two kiddos in school all day.  Owen is going two days a week.  Times are a'changing!

I'm officially starting my weight loss efforts this week.  Here is my plan.

1) Use my elliptical 2-3 times per week.  It doesn't have a fancy calorie burning counter or anything like that.  I think I'm just going to shoot for 20-30 minutes each time.

2) No eating after 6pm, except for ONE serving of chocolate.

3) Incorporate more salads into my meals.  Have oatmeal for breakfast every day.  Limit myself to one baked good a day.

4) Try to do this routine every day, at least once:
50 jumping jacks, 5 pushups, 20 crunches, 20 mountain climbers, and 30 second plank.

5) Set small goals.  My first goal is to lose 10 pounds by my birthday on November 7th.  If more comes off, then Hallelujah!! ;-)

That's it for now.  I'm not going to stress counting calories at this point.  I'll try this plan and see how it goes and then tweak it if I need to.  I also may try to incorporate some light weight training, so if anyone has any good ideas on that, feel free to share!

Here's hoping it works! I'm so ready to be RID of this flab, and feel good in my clothes again.  My cousin had twins 10 weeks ago and is already back down to pre-pregnancy size.  Which for her is a size 4.  So it was a huge wake-up call to me to get this show on the road.

 So here we go!

Back Soon...

Things are getting settled in from summer and getting ready for school to start.  I have a plan for my weight-loss goals and I'll share them soon. 

Weigh In

Let me just preface this post by saying this:

My brain may have gone the way of the dinosaurs, but my boobs are very much present and accounted for. ;-)

Anyway, I weighed 173.8 today, after I'd eaten. 

So I guess that's my starting point. I did get my elliptical last night, so that's is awesome.  We're gonna be on vacation for 2 weeks so I won't be online much.

But I'll be back and look forward to the scale going down and my body getting smaller!

Cheese and Chocolate

Hello!

How are you guys? We're doing well. Loving the hot weather, but also looking forward to September and school and a routine.

Lately I have been very, very depressed about my body.  It is so big, flabby, just gross.  Losing the weight feels like scaling Everest. Monumental.  Like such a big task that I'm defeated before I even start.  It weighs on me, colors everything I do and say.  Always there's this black cloud over me... my weight.  My clothes don't fit right. I'm between sizes, so I'm either a stuffed sausage squeezed into my clothes, or they are all baggy and frumpy.

I feel like I need to start some kind of regiment, but at the same time I'm not mentally there. 

But, I've decided to just start with baby steps. 

For one, we are getting an elliptical this weekend. I'm very excited about that, because it's something I can do while the kids watch tv or run around the house.  It's much more do-able than me trying to get to the gym.

I'm also going to try to do this routine that I found on Pinterest:

50 jumping jacks, 5 pushups, 20 crunches, 20 mountain climbers, and 30 second plank.

As far as eating goes, it seems like Nora may have a dairy sensitivity.  I'm not completely sure but last night I ate cheese, so we'll see how she does today.  I kind of did it on purpose, to see if there's a correlation.  I love cheese.  We had this delicious Havarti with herbs that we got at the farmer's market; so good!

Also, chocolate.  I've been eating it every day.  And I think I will continue to, but I do need to limit the amount I eat.  I have never been one to count calories and man alive, those calories can add up quick!

So, that's my plan for now. I forgot to weigh myself this morning to get a starting weight, so I'll try to remember to do it tomorrow.

Hope you all are well!

Tiny Victories

We've been looking at ellipticals online, as that's most likely the route I'm going to go, but haven't pulled the trigger yet.  Mostly I've been focusing on my eating, and making sure I don't eat just junk.

But, for the first time since Nora was born, I was able to get my wedding ring off!  Not that I want it off, mind you, but for the longest time my fingers were still too swollen/fat to even budge.  So that's something. ;-)

I tend to feel overwhelmed by the task of losing the baby weight; it's daunting.  The only way I've lost this amount of weight before was with HCG, but that's not an option while nursing.  So exercise and watching what I eat, it is. 

I don't have unrealistic dreams or expectations.  I don't have hours in the day to work out.  There are days when I must have chocolate.  So it's going to be back to my motto... Slow and Steady Wins the Race. :-D

I am very ready for the weight to start coming off; it's no fun feeling like a prisoner in your own body.  Getting dressed is sheer torture.  Nothing looks right or feels right.  So it's time to start taking those baby steps towards getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

Hope you all are doing well and enjoying your summer!

Baby Steps

Hi everyone!
How are you doing?  I'm doing well.  Nora is starting to sleep longer stretches here and there, which is awesome.  Last night I had to wake her up after 6 hours because, well, because my boobs hurt cuz they were so full. I think she would have kept right on sleeping if I hadn't woken her up!

So, I am getting closer and closer to being ready to tackle the feat of losing my baby weight.  I've got 25 pounds to go to get back to pre-pregnancy weight.  I've been mulling different options; Weight Watchers, getting an elliptical, getting the Wii Fit...  I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet, maybe a combination of both.

I'm definitely ready to start shedding pounds; it's no fun getting dressed these days. :(  But at the same time, life is pretty busy and it does take time and energy to lose weight, so I have to figure out a good balance.

In other news, Nora has started smiling at us, and it is SO much fun!

That's not spit up in her mouth... it's just a reflection off her tongue. ;-)

Nora Kristine, 6 weeks old

I'll keep you posted on my tentative treading into weight loss waters. :) The Skinny Turtle shall return!

Vacation

I use that term loosely...  I mean, unless it's just Josh and I on some white sand beach somewhere, I don't think "vacation" is the right term to use. ;-)

For the past 2 weeks we've been gone. First at our church retreat, and then with our extended family in the eastern part of our state.

It was fun. Don't get me wrong.  There was lots of fun to be had.  But also, lots of work.  The laundry doesn't stop.  The kids still need to be fed.  They still need time-outs.  Throw in a night of sickness, just for fun.

We got home on Sunday and I have been totally, absolutely exhausted.  I'm talking bone-dead tired.  Fatigue like I haven't experienced in a long, long time, not even in the early days after Nora was born.

Last night I went to bed at 5:30p.m. I fell asleep immediately.  I woke up every 3 hours to nurse Nora, and each time I had to drag myself out of bed.  I got up at 8 this morning and still feel like I'm not caught up.  I'm sure the horror-movie dreams I had didn't help anything.  Seriously, where does my brain get this stuff??? 

Anyway, we had a super fun and good time, but I am so glad to be home.  I love our house. I may have mentioned it before. ;-)  I am excited to get back into a normal routine and have everything in it's place.

The kids are... I don't even know how to describe it.  They are "decompressing".  Yeah, let's call it that. Naps all around sounds like a marvelous idea!  They almost need their own padded cells.  Just kidding.  Mostly. 

Anyway, I plan to charge my camera and take some pictures.  I'm really bad with that.  But I need to do it so we don't end up with no pictures to document this time.  You know, everyone on different couches in time out.  ;-)

I'll have to devote a post to how I'M doing.  But for now, I have hungry mouths to feed.  Including my own.

Hope you're having a great summer so far!

Checking In

Hi Guys!
Sorry for the radio silence... I was at a church retreat and thought I'd have internet access, but it was down.

We're doing great!  The kids are swimming and biking and eating Otter Pops and generally loving life... most of the time.  ;-)

Nora is growing like a weed.  She's already a month old!!! I honestly don't know where the time has gone.  I'll try to post lots and lots of pics when we're back from vacation. 

Hope you're all doing well and surviving the heat! 

MB-YUCK on the hot pool water!! That sounds so horrible!  Glad you have A/C. :)

Butterfly Kisses and Spit Up

Wow, the days have gotten away from me!

We are doing well, overall.  Things are a little crazy what with school being out and summer visiting basically every single other state except ours. :-P

Nora was born with no eyebrows and teeny tiny eyelashes, but they've started growing now and I can feel them on my arm when I nurse, or on my face when we snuggle.  It's lovely. :)

She has been projectile vomiting, so off we went to the doc.  He though she may have a condition with a muscle in her stomach, but luckily she didn't.  Except, we're still stuck with the spit up.  And it's a lot.  I have to change her clothes and blankets several times a day.  I guess maybe I wasn't really paying attention before, but now that I've been watching her it does seem like she's in pain when she spits.  Before I was just assuming she was fussing because she was hungry or needed a diaper change.  But now I can see that she is spitting up, so I'm calling the doc again to see if we can get medicine for her.

The other kiddos are going madhouse crazy.  They have SO MUCH energy!  It is so insane.  I don't know where it all comes from, but I wish they'd share!

MB-My back is SOOOOO much better! I still have to be careful and watch how I move/lift but overall it is tremendously improved.

Today is the first day that I'm really focusing on eating healthy and cutting out dairy.  I'm hoping that will help with the spit up, and also kick start some weight loss.  The afternoons are the absolute hardest for me.  During the day I forget to eat; I don't feel hungry.  This is not good, for many reasons, but 2 of them being that I end up feasting on junk food and I also get a wee bit, erm... grumpy.

So I am trying to be better about nourishing my body.  I had oatmeal for breakfast and a pb&j sandwich (with homemade strawberry jam... YUM) for lunch.  And then I ate some pizza Combos... which is junk.  But I got really stressed because the kids had popcorn for a snack and that stuff is MESSY!  And Nora has a cold and fusses every time I put her down.  And I really need to shower but haven't been able to.  And I tried to nap and my boys fought the entire time so I wasn't able to.  And so I ate Combos. :-P

Anyway, I'm trying to get to bed early and nap when I can, and I think coupled with eating better I'll start feeling better.

Nora is doing great and gained 18 ounces in 10 days!!! That's over a pound! So insane.  She's getting really chubby.  See?

Sorry, really bad quality cell phone picture.

I hope you all have an awesome 4th of July! In the meantime, I wholeheartedly agree with this:

You May Have A Newborn If...

*Your other kiddos say funny/sweet things like, "She's a champion burper!" or "We have the sweetest baby".

*You have a tiny bundle of warmth snuggled on your chest the majority of the day.  Either that, or attached to your chest. ;-)

*You have teeny tiny clothes mixed in with the other laundry, and it makes everything else seem GIGANTIC.

*You can be found brewing coffee at all hours of the day. And night.

*You forgot how shockingly forceful/loud newborn poops can be. 

*You get massively excited about pumping 3.5 ounces of milk in 5 minutes (from only one side!).

*You can't get enough of the smell of your baby's head.

*You have become very creative at dressing yourself to try and hide the post-baby flab.

*Tummy Tuck takes on a new meaning; you're literally tucking your tummy into the waistband of your pants in an attempt to not look like you're still pregnant.

*You love taking walks just so you can stroll around with your newborn in your awesome stroller.

*Even though you are bone dead tired, you never get tired of seeing your baby in the middle of the night and can't stop cuddling and kissing her sweet face.

Funny story about that picture up there... Nora was SUPER fussy during the photo shoot... she may have been hungry, hot, who knows.  Anyway, we were trying to get a last shot and Mariann, the photographer, started singing the alphabet song in a HIDEOUSLY off key and monotone voice.  And Nora fell asleep INSTANTLY!!! It was SO incredibly hilarious.  We were all laughing hysterically.  As soon as Mariann finished the horrible rendition of A-B-C's, Nora woke up and started fussing again. :-P

My little chickadee

Those are literally the only 2 pictures that turned out semi-well out of the entire 2 hour session. ;-)

Weigh In

I'm only 12 days postpartum, but I stepped on the scale just to see where things were at.

I've lost 15 pounds, and have 25 more to go. Yep, I ended up gaining a whopping 40 pounds; double what I've ever gained before.  I'm back to 170 now, and actually don't feel as fat and frumpy as I thought I would. 

I think I may lose maybe 5 pounds more from water weight, and then I'll have to work to get the rest off.  I'm not planning on doing or starting anything weight-loss wise anytime soon.  My main focus right now is making sure I have enough milk for Miss Nora.  So far, so good on that front.  I do plan to take walks with my family; we've done it a few times since we've been home and it's a nice, easy workout. 

I also plan to focus on choosing healthy, whole foods for the most part.  It's weird cuz during the day I forget to eat; I just don't feel hungry.  And then in the evening it suddenly hits me BAM and I'm STARVING.  So I am working on eating throughout the day, and making the nutrition in those meals count.

I've also been doing well with drinking water, mostly just because I get so thirsty while nursing.

So anyway, that's where I'm at for now.  I do plan to get back to weight loss blogging, but not quite yet. :)

If you'd like to see more pictures of Nora, I posted some on my other blog.

I hope you're all well! Thanks for the comments; it's nice to know people are reading. :)

Nora's Birth Story

I've been having so much fun snuggling my little bunny, but I want to write out the birth story before I start forgetting the details.  It wasn't AT ALL what I expected. ;-)

So the OB and I decided to induce at 39w4d because I'd been having contractions that were 2-3 minutes apart for days, and the baby's movement had slowed down considerably.  We both thought that a low dose of Pitocin would be what my body needed to go into labor and deliver the baby.  How wrong we were!

I got to the hospital at 7:30a.m. and got all checked in.  Everything looked great; my blood pressure was good, baby's heart rate was good, we were chatting and laughing with our (super awesome!) nurse.  I was still just 1cm dilated and 50% effaced, and still contracting but they weren't painful really.  They start the Pitocin around 9:30a.m. and increase it every half hour.

The contractions got a tiny bit stronger, but nothing even close to unbearable and I could tell it was mostly in my stomach and not in my lower uterus/cervix.  After being on the maximum amount of Pitocin for 10 or 11 hours (I can't remember exactly) I was still at 1cm and 50% effaced.  So the OB decided to turn off the Pitocin and insert Cervidil to help soften my cervix.  I got 2 doses of that overnight and was checked again in the morning.  No change.  Still 1cm and 50% effaced.  At this point it's been 24 hours and I haven't been allowed to eat anything since 6a.m. the morning before! 

The OB decides to start the Pitocin again, and I get up to a 14 on that.  20 is maxed out, and I can tell the contractions still aren't the right kind and aren't strong enough.  I'm really starting to think that this is going to end in a c-section.  After 2 or 3 hours of being on the Pitocin with STILL NO CHANGE, the OB decides to break my water.  It's the last step before a c-section and I'm praying it works.  It has in the past; once my water is broken things go really fast.  But it hurt like CRAZY cuz I wasn't dilated much.  He does manage to do it (and I manage not to pass out from the pain).

And lo and behold, it works!  By now I'm 26 or 27 hours into labor and haven't eaten and am tired.  But contractions really start picking up and they are the real deal and painful.  I'm using my Hypnobabies techniques, but the contractions are really starting to hurt and I start crying.  Not sobbing, but quietly crying, with tears running down my face.  I didn't know it at the time, but Josh noticed and went out and told the nurse we were going to have a baby soon. ;-) 

So she comes in and the contractions are one on top of the other, with only 30 seconds in between.  And they HURT.  Like, really bad.  So I ask to be checked and I'm only 3cm and 60% effaced.  WHAT!?  If this is how bad it hurts at 3cm, there is NO WAY I can make it to 10.  So I ask for IV meds and the nurse goes out to get it.  But then the next contraction hits and holy moly it hurts so so so so bad! So I tell Josh never mind, run out and tell her I want the epidural! 

He does, and 10 minutes later the anesthesiologist comes in.  By now I'm writhing in pain on the bed, I can not find a position that helps alleviate the pain of the contractions, I'm begging them to turn down the Pitocin and I'm throwing up.  I get situated to start the epidural and he swabs my back with iodine and puts the sterile plastic sheet on it.  And suddenly there is just so much pain and pressure! I'm telling the nurse there is pressure and they're asking if they should go ahead and do the epidural or if I need to push. I'm so confused, because I was literally only 3cm just 20 minutes before and don't think it can be time to push already, and I just want the pain to go away.

But with the next contraction there is no guessing... she is coming!  My body plus the Pitocin was like a freight train.  I have never experienced anything like it.  My body was pushing with all it's might and there was not  a thing I could do to stop it.  There was no doctor there; they called out into the hall and a midwife came in and basically just watched as Nora came flying out. ;-)

It was all so fast and intense and crazy.  I couldn't believe it.  I went from 3cm 60% effaced to holding her in my arms in about 40 minutes. 

So, I got my natural delivery, but it wasn't at all how I pictured it, LOL! 

Nora came out wide eyed and calm and didn't cry.  She was just calmly looking around with her beautiful open eyes and was such a tiny thing!  She weighed 6lb 1oz and was 19 inches long.  She is a very happy, calm and contented baby.  I love, love, love snuggling her and all the kids fight over whose turn it is to hold her. ;-)  She is nursing very well and pretty much put herself on a 3 hour schedule.

I'm so incredibly thankful and glad she is here, safe and sound, and I feel immensely blessed. 

We named her Nora, which means "honor" and her middle name is Kristine after Josh's mom who had a brain tumor.  It took forever and ever to find the right name, but when we did, we knew it was perfect. :)

My Love

I've been busy snuggling this precious little thing. :)  I'll be back to post the birth story soon... if I can tear myself away from Miss Nora!

Introducing....

Nora Kristine
6 pounds 1 oz
19 inches long
June 10, 2012

She was literally like 5 minutes old when this picture was taken.  Here's one of her and daddy:

She is such a wonderful treasure and the most easy, laid back and happy baby.  Would you believe she is 3 days old and STILL HAS NOT CRIED!?!? She didn't cry after delivery, not through the 9 or 10 pokes she had to endure for her blood sugar, not when I change her diaper or bathe her, nada.  She fusses a little but I have yet to hear a full blown cry.

Her birth story is a doozy and I'll write it soon, but for now I'm kinda preoccupied snuggling my precious baby girl. ;-)

I'll add more pictures once I get the ones off my camera and my sister's downloaded. :-D

6-9-12

That'll most likely be Baby Girl's birthday if all goes well.

I just saw the OB and he said due to the fact I've had so many contractions for so long with no progress, and the fact that the baby's movements have decreased significantly, it's time to get her out.

So tomorrow morning at 7:30a.m. I'll be getting induced.

I've never been induced before and I'm nervous.  Excited, but nervous.  I had really, really, really wanted a natural, unmedicated birth and I just don't know if that's possible with pitocin.  He is going to start me on the lowest dose possible, and hope my body takes over.  If it does, then we can turn it off.

Here is a shot of me today, at almost 40 weeks:

So we'll see how it all goes down, but oh my goodness, I'm going to have my baby tomorrow!!!!!