Pass the Magic Eraser, please

Wouldn't it be great if there was a Magic Eraser for the extra pounds on my body? YES! And wouldn't it be great if there was a Magic Eraser for when I messed up? Yup.

Yesterday was interesting. I did fine all day; ate only fruits and vegetables besides the chicken on my salad and 2 Hebrew National dogs. I was really hungry, so it felt like I was eating all day. When dinner time rolled around, I sort of snapped.

I was super hungry and stressed, and I had eaten all the fruit I had in the house. So I ate a bowl of cereal with milk, effectively slaughtering my no dairy/no grains rule in one fell swoop. Then I had 2.5 homemade biscuits with butter and honey.

Then I threw up. I haven't thrown up in weeks, which is actually a really great thing! It used to be a several-times-a-week occurrence, thanks to my messed up digestive system. After seeing Dr. Ray and getting on the digestive enzymes, I haven't had any issues to speak of.

But last night, I overdid it and my body couldn't handle it. I think it was already taxed trying to digest all the vegetables and fruit I ate, and it couldn't handle all that bread on top of it. I was hungry after my stomach emptied so I ate 7 Rosemary and Olive Oil triscuits with cheddar cheese. And then 2 slices of toast. :-O

The water thing... I managed to get in 56 ounces, which sadly, is way more than I normally drink. I came nowhere near the 85oz I was shooting for. I'll keep at it, but I really hate drinking water. I have my water bottle full at all times, I just can't bring myself to drink more than a sip or two at a time. I had to really chug the last of it down just to even get to 56oz yesterday.

Anyway, I also didn't do my workout. I know I keep saying I'm under so much stress, and it's true. Hopefully in the next little while here I'll be able to better explain what's going on, but right now everything is up in the air and it's just a lot of things combined.

The kiddos being sick and waking up 4-5 times a night, trying to lose weight and NOT lose heart when the scale doesn't cooperate, and then adding on the no dairy/no grains rule just was a bit too much for me. Yesterday when I ate my last banana I felt a bit of panic rising up because WHAT WAS I GOING TO EAT NOW!?!?!?!?!?!

So anyway, my kids are pretty sick which means I won't be getting out to the store today to get more fruits and veggies, so I'm retracting my dairy and grain rule. I'm not going to go overboard, but it's what I have in the house so I'll eat it. It's better than freaking out and binge-ing.

I will do my Jillian workout. Right now, in fact. I have been so incredibly tired the past few days, due to not sleeping well at night, so I've been taking the opportunity to nap with my kiddos. Which is great, but then I don't do my Jillian workout. I've had 2 days rest and it's time to get back into it.

On a weird note, my binge last night seems to have gotten some things moving because I've had some very successful waste management last night/this morning. Who knew?

Hope you all are well; thanks for all the encouraging words and ideas! I'm going to keep on going. Last night I was lamenting to my husband about my dive off the deep end and he just kept encouraging me not to give up. It feels like that's all I want to do. I don't want to be stressed about calories, eating, exercising, how hard it is to lose one measly pound and oh my goodness I have 40 of those pounds to lose!

So I'm going to take a step back and only look at today. TODAY I am going to do my Shred DVD. Today I am going to make healthy eating choices. Today I am going to drink more water. Yesterday is gone, it's not going to kill me, I didn't eat dozens of doughnuts or bags of fast food. It was a slip up, yes, but it didn't put me out of the running.

I hope you all are having successful, wonderful days! I will continue this journey and learn to live healthy and happy, with moderation.