I am really struggling. These past few days have been really hard; there are a lot of extenuating circumstances that have pushed me to "the brink" in several areas. Just a lot of stress and anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed. Not just in weight loss or eating right; there are situations in my extended family, situations with my dog, with my children, etc...
But I am really trying to learn from this all, to take it one moment at a time and not just crumple into a heap on the floor crying "It's too much!".
Yesterday was okay eating wise. I did eat 3 pieces of banana bread, which was totally unnecessary. Sure, 2 of the pieces were small and equaled one normal piece, but I didn't *need* to go back for them. I ate them because I was stressed, which is never a good reason to eat.
Yesterday I ate:
1/2 c Kashi cereal, dry
1/2 c peaches (canned)
3 pieces of banana bread
1 slice of lunch meat
part of a cup of coffee
2T hummus with 16 RF Wheat Thins
5 or 6oz of Thai chicken that I made
I have found that when there is outside stress, more than what I am used to, I tend to snack and not eat healthy meals, which does nothing to help me.
Today I plan to make another pitcher of green smoothie.
I have been using spinach, blueberries and strawberries with lots of water. I feel very toxic and bloated and backed up currently, so I am going to try to drink 2 pitchers of smoothie today to help clean out all the salt and sugar that I ingested over the weekend and yesterday. Hopefully that will help the scale go down on Friday, or at least maintain 167.
It's hard, it doesn't come naturally to me, but I am determined to learn how to live with a healthy relationship to food. How NOT to turn to it when I'm stressed or, for that matter, feeling any other emotion. How to choose healthy foods that will fuel my body and give me the energy I need to live a full, happy life.
I am NOT in a race. I am on a journey, so even if the scale goes up this week (as it may well do) I will not fall into a pit of depression. I will use it as a learning experience, and go forward striving to do better. It took me 5 years to get to this high weight I'm at, and it will take some time to come back down and get it off. I will be patient and stick it out. I'll be the skinny turtle. =) Slow and steady.